Birth at Home in Arizona

HG Mama's Birth Story!

2012-01-29T12:20:00.001-08:00

Folks, this is something I've been waiting for all winter! Molly over at Knocked Up, Knocked Over has published her birth story! Hop on over and check it out (and the awesome pictures!), and make sure to send some congrats her way. This mama has been through the wringer to get this babe here - she is truly a warrior. Congratulations, Molly!

Almost, But Not Quite

2012-01-29T11:03:00.001-08:00

I have mentioned before that my goal was to nurse through this entire pregnancy, and then to continue on with tandem nursing (nursing two babies at once).

The jury is still out on the second goal, but I am sad to say that I did not make it with the first. We stopped breastfeeding a week ago (basically at 38 weeks pregnant).

A couple of reasons:

Firstly, nursing had gotten down to once every 24-48 hours anyhow, and it was only on one side (the other side finally reached the "CHECK, PLEASE!!!" pain level), so we were down to one side, but it was so blastedly painful that I was really limiting nursing sessions.

Secondly, nursing while pregnant has made me incredibly prone to cracked/bleeding nipples (TMI, sorry!), and I realized that I needed some time to let those heal before I have to start nursing a newborn round the clock (no use starting with the deck stacked against me).

(Incidentally, I have no idea why those issues surfaced during pregnancy, as I've never had problems like that post-initiation.)

So, as of last Sunday, I pulled the plug. Our little dude is 29 months old, which is far shorter a time than I had hoped to nurse him (especially with his health issues), and not even as long as I nursed our first.

HOWEVER! I am not giving up yet. My hope is to reintroduce as soon as our newest is born, and see if we can get back on track. That should only be a gap of about 2-3 weeks, so I'm hopeful that it can be done.

Anyone out there tried this before? Tips?

I'm disappointed, but we'll give it a go to pick up the pieces!

Quick Check-in (38w2d)

2012-01-26T15:51:00.001-08:00

We're getting down to the wire, aren't we? Exciting stuff!

This week has been super-busy - activities and chores everywhere! If we can get through this weekend, I'm going to try to slow down and relax for a bit (ha!). Not that the nesting hormones will let me do that, but it sounds good on paper.

A few sound bytes from our week....

Speaking of nesting! You know you're nesting.....
..... when you are up at eleven o'clock at night scrubbing down your kitchen floor with Comet. And furthermore, when you enjoy it! (Should I be worried that I no longer have feeling in two finger-tips?) The floor really needed it (I had noticed for the past few months that washing the floor still produced a dirty-looking floor), but now it's made me a bit paranoid. ("Ack! No! Don't step on the floor!") I know that it won't last long, but I'm enjoying it while it's clean. And I'm doing my best to start a new no-shoes policy to save our poor floors and carpets (local friends, this is for family only - not visitors!). I'm also considering keeping the stroller in the garage, since it leaves such lovely black tracks behind it every time we bring it through the kitchen (anyone ever tried that?).

Pregnancy Beliefs:
A lot of people really go for the "how you're carrying shows what gender you're having" belief! I've had several people spontaneously evaluate me this way, though results are still inconclusive. :)

This week, a fond farewell to....
.... my oldest maternity shirt, which has been with me through three pregnancies. I ignored the fact that, by now, it was totally worn out... I ignored the fact that I'd recently gotten bleach stains on it... But when it started ripping spontaneously down the arms, I had to admit defeat. Farewell, sweet shirt! But on a happier note, I have managed to procrastinate my way out of shopping for (desperately needed) maternity clothes this pregnancy. If we are ever blessed with another, I will have to (*sob!*) break down and go shopping.

Various odd things:
Isn't it interesting how one's brain will, during sleep, incorporate real-time happenings into one's dream sequences? Last night I dreamed that someone was shouting "Insolent girl! I see nothing in it but your own willful ignorance and the malice of Mr. Darcy!" (Name the volume, scene, and character, fellow Austen fans!) Upon waking, I discovered that it had been the baby crying, translated into an Austen scene! Amazing mind games.

Huge personal accomplishment:
My first haircut in..... over two years!! Have I mentioned that I have a problem with procrastination?

In HG news....
Big congratulations to Sleepwalker on the birth of her new baby! Can't wait to see pictures, my friend! This is definitely the year for HG mamas to produce big babies!

Odd happenings:
On Tuesday, as we were leaving to see our midwife, we heard what sounded like two quick gunshots. Later that evening we learned that those shots had been the end of a standoff between a suicidal man and police who had been called to the scene. He threatened police with his gun and ended up getting shot. A very odd and uncomfortable feeling to know that we heard the shots that ended a man's life, and such a sad happening for his family. We don't know them, but they live within a stone's throw of our house (over the wall into another neighborhood).

Pregnancy stuff:
Feeling fairly well - just tired, nauseated, and rather painful - but fine and busily concocting new nesting projects as soon as I finish old ones. The sad thing - there is no way I could ever keep this house as clean as my personal liking (which is at "museum" level)..... unless I had a personal maid. Thus, I vote to bring back the era of domestic servants! (I'm still waiting!!) No signs of impending labor, and at the moment I'm just trying to work through this crazy-busy week.

I'll try to check in again soon if I can! Love to all!

Just in from the Front: New Hyperemesis/Morning Sickness Tips

2012-01-25T11:12:00.001-08:00

A local friend of mine just posted her "what might have helped" blog post regarding her current pregnancy (which is her seventh-or-so time through hyperemesis). Here it is!

Morning Sickness Update

You can read this author's original post about severe morning sickness here - I encourage everyone to read it, because it is a great picture of what hyperemesis is.

You will notice that a lot of these tips are "pre-HG" - i.e. you can use them up until HG is in full swing, at which point (as we all know) a lot of tips switch from helpful to impossible. But anything is worth a try - thanks for sharing!

Getting Close! (37w4d)

2012-01-21T13:04:00.001-08:00

Here we are! I am too tired to think in coherent, logical thought sequences, so sound bites will have to do for a quick update:

How I'm Feeling:
Tired. No, make that exhausted. Sore. Heavy. Nauseated.

Signs of Impending Labor:
None!

False Labor:
Nothing more, really - in an official way - but I have been having a ton of painful night-time contractions that are either keeping me awake or waking me up. This is so new! I've never had anything like this before outside of real labor. And no, the Hypnobabies tapes aren't helping yet, but I'm listening to them faithfully anyhow.

Weird Pregnancy Things:
Every day or two, I panic and think, "Wait! We have a baby! But I haven't fed the baby! Or changed, dressed, etc. the baby! Furthermore, I don't know where the baby is!!!" Then I remember that oh, yes, the baby hasn't been born yet. Relief!

Baby Names:
I think we're set.... again. We'd better be, because the family is waiting with long lists of requested names otherwise!

To-Do List:
Almost completed! This coming week is our prenatal with our doula and our tax appointment, so if we can make it through that, I'll be happy!

The Lost-and-Found Cat:
After her latest escape, we realized two things: (1) she wasn't adoptable anyhow (we'd been trying to find owners), because you can't just give away a cat that is looking to leap for freedom every time she sees a square inch of blue sky, and (2) we didn't want her back. She was miserable, and our bully-cat was making mincemeat of her. So we decided that if she showed up again, we would just feed her outside as an outside cat. And it's worked! She's come down for dinner twice now (about once a week), and it is working for all parties. Thank goodness!

A Quick Reminder:
For Facebook friends, please don't mention this blog on Facebook (no worries for those who have forgotten!). The reason: I do not want my family reading my blogs. That sounds weird, but I simply want to maintain my privacy and my ability to express myself fully without worrying about family misunderstandings or input. Thanks, all!

Upcoming Plans:
Well, most of them are getting canceled due to sheer exhaustion. But things on the calendar these next few weeks include homeschooling, MOMS Club outings, weekly meetings with our midwife, a prenatal with our doula, our tax appointment, lots of errands and little last-minute things, and a lot of finger-biting-type waiting.

Other Stuff:
I think there's a lot of other stuff, but my mind is too dead to think of it! Later, all!

Time to Start Guessing!

2012-01-17T07:09:00.001-08:00

Okay, everyone! Time to guess baby's GENDER and BIRTHDAY! Just leave your answer in the comments below, and I'll put them on the calendar. No worries if there are repeat guesses - that just means there will be more winners if that date/gender wins!

Thanks, all!

For the record, my guess is February 1st, a girl.

Another False Alarm

2012-01-14T09:33:00.001-08:00

Last night I had another episode of what I am calling, for a better term, "false labor" - contractions that woke me up in the middle of the night and halfway convinced me that I must be going into real labor.

This time it was longer than last time - for about five contractions - and took up about half an hour. Funnily enough, it woke me up in the middle of my Hypnobabies CD, which I have been "listening to" for the past week, but as I've been asleep for most of it, I've never actually heard it to the end. Rather confusing!

Thankfully the contractions stopped once I got up. I'm hoping this is not going to become a habit!

Things like these raise important philosophical questions, like (1) How can this baby even think about coming early when I haven't yet finished my to-do list??? and (2) Why on earth am I choosing to have an unmedicated birth again? Remind me?

Doubtless both questions will be answered by the wisdom of posterity. In the meantime, I am exhausted and rather cranky. Giving myself a ridiculously long to-do list for today (bake two cakes! process broccoli baby food! roast beets! do housework! blog! freeze blueberries!) has not helped.

Anyhow, off to get back to it! Have a great weekend, all.....

Term! Or Preterm! Or Something! (36w2d)

2012-01-12T17:57:00.001-08:00

And here we are! We are now officially cleared for our third homebirth - very exciting, and very nerve-wracking! But we are sorta-kinda term now - hard to tell, since the old definition of "term" is 36 weeks, and the newer definition (out this year or last) is something around 37-38 weeks. Either way, we're on our way, and this baby will definitely be here in the next..... six or seven weeks at most. Most likely three or four. Yikes!!

Speaking of running out of time, I have a lot of blogging to do in these next few weeks! A lot of topics that I've had spinning in my head and which need to be written out before they are completely driven out of my head by birth stories. I need to get busy!

So for now (especially since I am totally distracted by "Good Eats" in the background), a super-quick update on how we're doing over here:

Baby:
This baby is super-SUPER active. Lots of kicks, lots of hiccups, lots of rolling about (going back and forth between ROA and LOA, though at last visit she was - *gulp* - LOP. (Bad, bad baby! Flip now!) Speaking of fetal positioning, I am starting - slowly - to learn how to determine baby's position. Not well, but I'm starting to get the slightest feel for it. I have even learned to find baby's head! (Everyone out there is saying a big "duh," but I'm a slow learner.)

Baby Names:
Changing! What else?

Nausea:
Ever-present, but usually only problematic in late morning and late-afternoon/evening. I keep forgetting that the blasted stuff lasts up until the birth. However, at least this time I shouldn't have to deal with two years of postpartum residual nausea like we did with the first one (when the HG was uncontrolled). I'm hoping to see it dissipate over the first post-birth week like it did last time.

Meds:
Just one half of a Unisom each morning.

Other supplements I'm taking to prepare for birth:
Alfalfa - for vitamin K levels
Vitamin C - for immune system and for amniotic sac strengthening (I would LOVE a birth en caul)
Calcium/Magnesium - Because this stuff is so stinking good that I can't resist it - oh, I meant that it's good for the baby!
Floradix Iron - To reduce postpartum bleeding and to keep iron levels up
Red Raspberry Leaf - Classic herb for all things female, including labor prep
Evening Primrose Oil - Another classic labor prep supplement, good stuff

Childbirth Prep:
I have faithfully been listening to my Hypnobabies CDs every night since New Year's Day - I have no idea if they're helping (or are going to help), but it's somewhat reassuring to be doing something. Hopefully it can work subliminally, because I fall asleep within 3-5 minutes of starting every night. Other things I'm doing are exercising (walking) and the basic Bradley exercises (pelvic tilts, kegels, tailor sitting, butterflies).

Homeschooling:
We have come to another fork in the road, curricula-wise - I'll cover this in an upcoming blog post.

To-do List:
Coming along nicely! Will I finish? No, but I'll be close.

Decluttering:
I'm at a pause in the process, but it's coming along nicely! I have easily gotten rid of multiple hundreds of pounds of unwanted STUFF, thanks to the added nesting-ruthlessness. There is a lot more I'd like to get rid of (like about half of our stuff), but at this point it becomes a matter of which relative I want to insult most. Anyone who comes over to our house, please feel free just to start tossing stuff in the trash. I would appreciate it!

Well, that's about all I can think of at the moment! I'll try to get busy on those other blog posts so that I can finish up at least the basics before this babe makes an entrance.

Love to all!

Birth Plans, Final Versions

2012-01-04T06:33:00.000-08:00

Here they are! (I welcome all input!!) One for home, one for transport:

***

Homebirth Birth Plan

- Please take lots and lots of pictures and videos! Of anything and everything, both graphic and modest. Would love pics of umbilical cord progression and also of red line phenomenon.

- I prefer to avoid cervical checks. In case it’s really necessary, please do not tell me my dilation unless it’s really necessary or it’s super-encouraging (i.e. complete!)

- I need lots of verbal support, coaching, and encouragement – please! And don’t be surprised that I’m really wimpy and extremely loud.

- For afterpains: Placenta smoothie as soon as the placenta is available – yogurt and OJ in fridge, mixed berries and bananas in freezer, blender on counter. Thank you!!! Also, I’d like to take four Advil and some Arnica and our afterpains tincture as soon as baby is out.

- Birth team – Snacks in fridge! Remember not to park on the street if it is Wednesday or Friday (use driveway or center section).

- Joe would love to catch and also cut the cord (delayed!).

- C. (our son) may or may not want to be present for the birth (undecided).

- In case of hospital transport:

o Someone grab the hospital bag, camera, and video camera

o Nab the placenta pronto! Don’t let it get away! Very important!

o Please do everything possible to advocate for delayed cord clamping, regardless of how the birth ends up (even with c/s).

o I would love still to practice placenta medicine as soon as is humanly possible.

o In case of cesarean, let’s talk probiotics for baby.

o Please make sure, in case of mother-baby separation, that one midwife/student/doula stays with both baby and Diana (esp. baby)

***

Hospital Transport Birth Preferences

- Parents: Diana J. & Joe J.

- To our hospital caregivers: Thank you for taking care of us!

- Our midwife is Stephanie S. (xxx-xxx-xxxx). Our doula is Rose D. (xxx-xxx-xxxx). We ask that one or both of them be able to stay with us at all times.

- I love verbal encouragement & coaching, the more the better.

- I tend to be rather loud during labor. Please just ignore me, I’ll be fine.

- I prefer to avoid cervical checks. In case it’s really necessary, please do not tell me my dilation unless it’s really necessary or it’s super-encouraging (i.e. complete!)

- Please do not clamp/cut the umbilical cord until it is completely finished pulsing, preferably until the placenta is out. We would love it if any neonatal resuscitation could be done near Diana so that the cord can remain intact. In case of cesarean, please still leave the cord to pulse as long as is possible. Joe would love to cut the cord.

- I would like an unmanaged 3rd stage and to deliver the placenta without assistance. Please, no Pitocin outside of emergency circumstances.

- We will take our placenta home with us.

- In case of cesarean birth: We would love still to have delayed cord clamping (as much as possible) during a cesarean birth.

- For Baby: Please, no Hep B shot, eye ointment, newborn screen (we will do this in a few days), or vitamin K (except in case of a physically traumatic birth). We will be breastfeeding. We would love uninterrupted mother-baby time immediately following the birth, baby’s health allowing.

- Thank you for your kindness, support, and care!

***

Questions? Thoughts? Anything to add?

Introducing Our Newest Arrival!!

2012-01-02T10:15:00.001-08:00

A little (or a lot) earlier than expected, but still very welcome - and absolutely gorgeous, of course!!

See beautiful pic below, along with various stats:

Oh, wait! How did that picture get in there? Sorry, my mistake. Our newest arrival is below:

Isn't it gorgeous?????

Mwa ha ha ha ha ha!!!

Birth date: Sometime in the 1960's
Weight: About 400 lbs. and odd ounces
Length: ~ 3 1/2 feet

Sorry, couldn't resist.

Though I am excited (and nervous!) to announce that we are just one short week away from being in the window!! ("In the window" meaning being in the 36w-42w stage in which a birth would be considered term - though "term" has been redefined recently as 38 weeks - and which we could have a birth at home.

This past weekend, though, I did have an interesting labor scare. We were three hours away up north, when I was awakened at midnight by a definite and painful contraction. Bam! Then, 3-5 minutes later, another one. Bam! By that time, I was in complete emergency mode. Great... we're three hours away from home in preterm labor, we're going to have a baby too early in a hospital we've never seen, and without our midwife!!! Thankfully, those two contractions were it, and they have not repeated themselves (except for non-stop Braxton-Hicks).

I did learn a couple of lessons, though - one of which being that I needed to get started on listening to my Hypnobabies CDs!! (Especially since I started to panic with what were only the equivalent of wimpy early-labor contractions.) Even if it doesn't help, it helps me to feel prepared - so I started last night and plan to continue. If anyone has left it till the last minute, it is I!!!

And so, Happy April Fools! Or Happy New Year, or whatever. Love to all!

Reflecting on Past & Present

2012-01-02T09:58:00.001-08:00

Happy New Year, everyone! I hope you've all had a great Christmas and New Year's! We had a fun time, and I'm also thankful to be moving past all of that. The clock is ticking!

We went north to DH's parents' house for New Year's, had a great time, and brought home one heck of a cold that DH is currently working through while we wait to see how it is going to move through the family (fun!). I'd be tempted to say that he caught it from a family member who came to our family reunion with a raging illness, but I'm not sure if 18 hours is too short a time from exposure to symptoms. In the meantime, bring on the Zicam!

This past year has been an interesting one! I spent four months of it being good and sick (though not seriously, especially compared to the past), and half of it being nauseated at some level. As for the first part of the year, I don't remember much of it! I remember dealing with the deaths of two beloved family friends (one church friend and our pediatrician), moving through the medical system while dealing with our little guy's issues, and spending every other moment on homemaking and parenting.

I love the idea of a new year, and a clean slate - but at the same time, I have learned - repeatedly! - through the years that making New Year's resolutions is, for me, a complete waste of time. I think my record to date for remembering my resolutions - let alone carrying them out - is approximately three hours. So, while I used to enjoy sitting down and making resolutions, I no longer waste time on it, as it is an effort in futility.

However, it's always good to sit back and reflect, and to plan for the future. So, in that spirit, here are the things that I am (not "will be") working on in my life and plan to continue working on:

(1) I am working on becoming a woman of the Word and a woman of prayer. These have been weaknesses for me, and I am working on rectifying this. I have also come to realize that I cannot give away what I do not myself possess, so I want to work on my own spiritual life so that I will have more to give away to my children.

(2) I am working on neglecting my hobbies (birth activism, blogging, Facebook) in order to focus-focus-FOCUS on the important things in my life, that is, marriage, parenting and homemaking. All of these are challenges for me. Marriage is hard, all the more so after having children. Homemaking is a challenge, all the more so after having children. And parenting is beyond hard - all the more so after having children, LOL! (It was a lot easier to be an armchair parent!!). I would be lying if I said that parenting was anything other than super-super-challenging - it has humbled and challenged me in so many ways, and it has also kicked my rear royally in even more ways. Any illusions I had of my own perfections have been shattered by dealing with parenting challenges - a good thing, but still an uber-challenge to develop my skills and keep up with this crazy thing.

(3) I am working on continuing to declutter. We still have waaayyyy too much stuff (and way more than I am comfortable with). My initial goal is to continue getting rid of things until we feel like we can fit comfortably into our home, rather than being shoe-horned in along with our stuff. It's amazing how many trips I can make to Goodwill and still not see a huge difference! But progress is coming.

And there you have it!

Off to do all the stuff I'm neglecting right now - Happy New Year, everyone!

Quick Check-in (34w1d)

2011-12-28T13:38:00.001-08:00

Hi, everyone! Another quick check-in between seeing our houseguests (my parents) off this morning and heading out to see DH's parents this weekend.

I am doing really well - still off of Zofran, and on just 1/2 tab of Unisom per day. Nausea is ever-present but is rarely problematic.

I made it through Christmas, hurray! And.... drum roll please.... our tree is down and put away! Any local friends are now faint from shock, as our tree usually stays up till sometime between St. Patrick's Day and April Fool's. But my ruthless decluttering habits have taken over holiday trappings as well as everyday things, and I have been champing at the bit to get decorations put away so that I can move on.

Speaking of decluttering.... wow! I have been impressing even myself! It's really quite laughable. I am pretty much trying to throw out anything that isn't tied down. And frankly, a lot of what is being kept is being kept only because there are various parties to answer to (i.e. the family that gave us the gifts) rather than any real need/want. But I've been doing really well anyhow - biweekly trips to Goodwill and continual give-aways on Freecycle, and I think it's making a bit of difference, though I'd still like to get rid of an easy 50% of the stuff we have left.

Decluttering has always been my instinctual method of stress-relief, and nesting has just thrown it into ultra-high gear, with an added dash of utter ruthlessness. I love it! It's given me the ability to get rid of a bunch of stuff that I've never wanted to keep but have been guilted into. Hopefully this can continue! I am really a minimalist at heart, and having stuff bothers me. My parents are continually urging me to just store stuff in the attic, but they just don't get it - having too much stuff bothers me horribly. I don't feel peaceful until it is gone and OUT of the house for good. My dream is to live in a one-room cabin in the mountain with just the basic necessities (bed, table, chair, etc.).

Have I wandered far enough for you? It's hard to write coherently with Thomas the Tank Engine in the background. In reading back over what I just wrote, I found at least five major spelling errors, so don't expect linguistic perfection today.

But Christmas was nice! We had a fun time, though I did get stressed the last couple of days. I usually am a Christmas minimalist as well, but I think I just left too many things till the last minute. Next year, must do better.

My favorite part of Christmas was having church on Christmas. Our church has church on Sunday Christmases, and I love it! Christmas church is just extra-special. I really wish that our church could do the old-fashioned practice of having church on Christmas regardless of the day it falls!!!

An update on my efforts to NWP (nurse while pregnant!) - We continue to plow ahead, but it is hard going. We are only a hair's breadth away from weaning, though I am fighting valiantly to keep on. Only six more weeks, only six more weeks! I'm hoping I can hang on. If I make it, this will go on my life list of great accomplishments. Why? Because it HURTS. Horribly! Sometimes worse than others - anywhere from "Ouch!!" to "YEOUUCCCHHHH!!!!" In fact, a couple of weeks ago, I actually - no joke! - took a wooden spoon into the bedroom so that I could bite on the handle (a la "Ben Hur") while nursing. (It was better than my fingers.) Conclusion? Wooden spoon handles are way too big - they need to come out with a thinner edition. But it helps. Local friends, you will now know why my wooden spoons are covered in bite marks when you come over and are puzzling over that fact.

For anyone who is clicking "Unsubscribe! Unsubscribe!".... yes, I think I am crazy. This is not an experience I want to repeat.

We have now passed over the 34 week mark - nerve-wracking! Very nerve-wracking. I know most people are anxious for their babies arrive, but I've never been anxious for a pregnancy to end (though I am looking forward to meeting baby). Why? Well, (1) labor hurts, and I'm a wimp, (2) babies are a lot easier to take care of in-utero than in-arms, and (3) having a new baby turns one's life - and sanity along with it - completely upside down for at least six months. Not fun! But it will be fun to meet our newest family member - and to have the nausea leave!!

Having a third baby is going to move me completely out of my comfort zone. As a matter of fact, baby #2 did that, but #3 will do it even more thoroughly. It's not even something in my recent family history! On my side of the family, we have only only-children and two-children families for at least three generations back, and DH himself has only one sister. Both my mother and my MIL had only one pregnancy (one singleton and one twin), so neither of them has dealt with children of different ages, and neither of them has dealt with three children. This is going to be the adventure of a lifetime!

Well, I could meander longer, but I have bored my poor readers long enough! I'll check in after New Year's, when we're back and unpacked. I hope that you all have had a lovely Christmas - enjoy the one remaining holiday this weekend!

Still Alive! (33w1d)

2011-12-21T07:12:00.001-08:00

Hi, everyone! Sorry it's been so long! And actually, it might have been even longer, but my family is coming in town today and I'll be MIA for another week, so I thought I would check in.

However, I am ridiculously short on time, so here are just a few quick tidbits of life from the valley of the Sun:

- I have been off of Zofran for about.... three weeks. It feels so nice! I am still taking 1/2 of a Unisom (or 1 Diclectin) per day. I went off of it one day this week, but it didn't last. I'll try again soon! I am feeling fairly well most of the time (except for when I feel rotten). The nausea is always here, but it's not usually too much of a problem. Night before last I actually had to get up in the middle of the night to take some Unisom because the nausea wouldn't let me sleep, but that's unusual.

- Other pregnancy symptoms - breathlessness, exhaustion, muscle fatigue, pelvic pain, difficulty walking, the usual. :)

- I forgot to say that I did my hospital tour a few weeks ago - had a great time! It was so much fun. Hopefully I'll never actually end up there, but it's a nice feeling to know that if we do need to go in, I like the place where we'd be going and feel at least mildly comfortable there. You can read my review of that here.

- Our actual Lepkuchen Day went really well, and we enjoyed it tremendously. Thanks to all who joined us! (And to those who would've but couldn't!) You can read about Lepkuchen Day here. This year our dates were screwy - it's supposed to be the Saturday before Thanksgiving, but our fearless Lepkuchen-Day-founders had to mess with the dates so that they could fly back east for their daughter's new baby (birth story here! as well as more about Lepkuchen Day).

- Remember the cat that was lost-and-then-found? Well, she got out and was gone for several weeks.... and then we found her again. And then last night, she slipped out again and is currently - again - missing. What a cat. Definitely not one to trust!

- For those of you who are curious about what goes on at a homebirth, and specifically, the supplies used at a homebirth, I wrote up the details in a post on my other blog - enjoy!

- Other pregnancy details: I am currently taking a calcium/magnesium supplement, Floradix (iron), alfalfa tablets (for vitamin K, as we plan to nix the vitamin K shot/drops), and all the usual other stuff (fish oil, multi, zinc, B complex, etc.). As my blood pressure was a wee bit high at our next-to-last visit, I am also working on that (fluids, protein, salt, exercise... and lots and lots of cucumbers!!). Thankfully at our visit last night, my BP was again behaving itself - hurray!

- Childbirth prep - I got out my Hypnobabies CDs!! And listened to a track.... once. Yup, it's bad. Or rather, I'm bad. I simply cannot summon the energy at the end of an exhausting day to stick on half an hour of CD listening. I ought to improve myself, really, but..... sleep calls. Maybe some other year.

- I am really enjoying getting to know our midwife - she is a really neat woman. Last night I had the privilege of chatting with her for an hour (I love midwife visits!!), and thoroughly enjoyed our conversation. I have also been attending her biweekly meetings for pregnant mamas, and those are great as well (and open to the public for anyone who's interested!).

- We are also enjoying the Christmas season! I am a minimalist about Christmas (as in most things), so I don't do half of the things that most people do, but I really prefer it that way and have a great time enjoying this month. We've been going out to look at lights and playing lots of Christmas music, and this week I'm going to do some minor baking (sugar cookies) and wrap a few minor presents - and that'll be about it! We don't exchange presents with half of our family (haven't convinced the other side to hop on that wagon), and we also don't give our own kids presents - sounds Grinchy, but being the only grandchildren on both sides of the family, they are so thoroughly spoiled that we soon found it to be pointless. (In fact, all of my decluttering efforts will probably be eaten up by an influx of Christmas presents....) We'll also attend church on Saturday and Sunday, which will be great - one of my favorite parts of Christmas! I hope that each of you out there is enjoying the holidays and having an enjoyable Christmas week.

- Lastly, I would ask for your prayers for a local HG mama here who is beginning her seventh - yes, seventh! - journey into the world of NVP/HG. She was holding her own until this week but is now beginning to experience the HG slide (we all know about that one) so she could really use your prayers.

I will try to check in more often as the last weeks of this pregnancy count down! Love to all! And a very Merry Christmas!

Anatomy of a Homebirth - Breaking It Down

2011-12-13T20:00:00.000-08:00

For those of you out there who are new to homebirth, I thought I'd provide a few details so that you can get a basic picture of what a homebirth looks like.

Preparing for a homebirth:

There are several sets of supplies that a homebirth family gathers before the birth, or that are provided.

(1) Supply List - Every midwife has her own individual supply list (there are general similarities) that she requests each family to gather and have ready in a centralized location. Linens should be washed and dried in a hot drier (usually with extra time), then bagged in plastic. Is this necessary? No, not really, but it's just a precaution on the side of safety. Here is my midwife's list:

- Set of extra fitted sheets for the bed - While the mother is in early labor, the bed is made with fresh sheets, then covered in plastic, and a new fitted sheet is put over all of that. Thus, if the bed gets messy during the birth, the top sheet and the plastic can be stripped off afterwards and the mama and baby can be tucked into a clean bed.

- Waterproof bed pad - This can be done with plastic sheeting, plastic shower curtains, or a regular waterproof fitted sheet, for the purpose above.

- 5 clean towels and washcloths, double for a waterbirth - Always needed!

- 5-10 clean receiving blankets for baby, diapers and clothes for baby

- Two medium sized plastic bowls - For the placenta and any other waste.

- Cookie sheet, rimmed - To hold supplies.

- Labor food and drinks for mom and birth team - Food and drink during labor are SO important for the mama! Hospital-birthing mamas, don't forget to pack your own food and drinks to take to the hospital, since many hospitals are still under the (highly mistaken) notion that mothers should be NPO (nothing by mouth) during labor. Good drink choices are juice or Gatorade, good snacks are whatever you like - but stock lots of good stuff, both for you and the team!

- 1 roll paper towels - For general mess clean-up!

- Olive Oil - For perineal massage during pushing (not used for waterbirths).

- 2 empty laundry/garbage baskets - For waste.

- Extra large garbage bags - To fit the wastebaskets.

- Ibuprofen - For after the birth, to help with after-pains and swelling

I am adding things like an afterpains tincture, a heating pad, and a rice sock.

(2) Personal Things - Basically, what would fit into a hospital bag! Things like a music playlist, a birth ball, an inflatable birth tub, chapstick, personal items, etc.

(3) Birth Kit - These are the "pseudo-medical" supplies. Each midwife has a different supply list, and they are ordered by the family from a local supplier, who will usually have a list of midwives' names so that each client can select her midwife's particular kit. Though I don't have one in front of me, a birth kit will include things like:

- Chux pads
- Pads for postpartum bleeding
- Suction bulb
- Plastic cord clamps
- Disposable (keepsake) measuring tape
- Instant ice packs

(4) Midwife's Supplies - Each midwife will bring her own kit of supplies to a birth, the "true medical" supplies. This would include things like:

- Pitocin (for postpartum hemorrhage)
- Syringes
- Suturing materials
- Oxygen tanks
- Neonatal resuscitation equipment
- IV materials (depending on the state)
- Stethoscope, Doppler, and fetoscope

During a homebirth:

When a mother goes into labor, a midwife will keep in touch with her via phone and via in-person check-ins. This will vary based on how quickly a labor is progressing, and on whether the mother is in her first or subsequent labor. With my first birth, I labored for about twelve hours before the midwife came over to stay, while with my second she headed over as soon as we called her (smart woman!).

A midwife will arrive to stay whenever the mother feels a need to have her, usually sometime during active labor. She will stay through the birth and usually two or more hours after the birth, until both the baby and mother are fully stabilized and comfortable. During the labor, birth and postpartum, she is constantly on the alert, checking on the health of both mother and baby (fetal heart tones, maternal blood pressure/temperature/pulse) and making sure that everything stays within normal parameters for safety. If, at any time, she feels that any variable has progressed outside of her practice protocols, she will recommend a transport to the hospital and will accompany the family there.

After the birth, the midwife will make several home visits to the family, usually on days 1 and 3 post-birth, followed by several more in-office postpartum visits (usually at weeks 1, 3, and 6 postpartum).

I have had wonderful experiences with my midwives and my births at home. Though childbirth was easily the most physically challenging thing that I have ever done, it has also been the most fulfilling, transformative, and life-changing as well. I have always felt 100% safe and well-cared for, as well as respected and supported. I will never voluntarily choose to birth any other way - once a woman has had a good homebirth with an excellent midwife, there is no going back.

I would love to answer any other questions concerning homebirth - if you have any, please leave a comment!

Loud Mothers of the World, United!

2011-12-12T16:36:00.000-08:00

A few days ago, someone posted the following on the Facebook page for Bring Birth Home:

"I see so many beautiful pictures of women so calmly birthing their babies... it almost makes me feel like a failure in my two home births because I can't seem to master the chill out and breathe and quit fighting the pain. Instead I end up screaming and 'bucking up' against the contractions. (In my defense, both of my children were posterior.) So this is a shout out to the other screamers out there... tell me I'm not alone!" (emphasis mine)

At last count, there were over one hundred responses to this post, all saying "Yes! Me too!"

I was so relieved to see this!

So much of the time, I really feel like a birth failure. Really. That's how I describe myself and how I think of myself. I have never been able to relax through a single contraction. I have never been able to keep quiet through a contraction. I have never been able to mimic the birthing goddesses whose videos we pass around the internet. Instead, I go more for the sweaty, red-faced, yowling, out-of-control style that doesn't really get talked about much in birthing classes - and you'll for sure never see my birth videos being screened in mass quantities in local Bradley classes.

It's so nice to know that I'm not alone.

Which begs the question, of course - are we really doing women a favor when we only share the photogenic-type birth videos? What about when reality hits, and a first-time mom in labor realizes "Oh my gosh, these contractions hurt and I can't maintain that perfect-birth-video airbrushed look and pretend this is painless?" In some ways, that's what happened to me in my first birth. The childbirth classes we had taken focused on painless birth (which my midwife says she has seen once in her entire career), and so the reality of labor made me rather panicky. I would much rather be prepared for the truth than to be focused on the rare event of painless birth.

Enough meandering for the day!! Thoughts, anyone?

Vitamin K and the Newborn - Another Perspective

2011-12-10T09:00:00.000-08:00

Like most mothers who are into natural birth, I have always avoided the newborn vitamin K shot - and still plan to do so with this coming birth. To me, it makes sense that if all infants are born with lowered vitamin K levels, then they are meant to do so for a good reason. It's kind of like cord clamping - if mammals were meant to have immediate cord clamping, then their cords would clamp immediately on their own. Physiology doesn't need improvement. In other words, the normal, functioning, healthy body does not need routine artificial intervention. (We would use the vitamin K shot in case of a physically traumatic birth.)

This past summer, though, I met a lovely local midwife who has a slightly different take on vitamin K shots. She told me that while she, too, used to avoid them, she now recommends routine vitamin K administration in her practice.

The reason?

Simply the fact that - based on a study that she reviewed - American diets are abysmally low in vitamin K (which is found primarily in dark, leafy greens - definitely one of many weaknesses in the typical American diet), and thus our newborns have lower vitamin K levels at birth than even normal newborns are supposed to have - putting them at risk.

The midwife told me that while she now recommends the shot, she still much prefers that mothers just improve their diets to include more natural sources of vitamin K, and therefore be able to provide their infants with the nutrient naturally rather than artificially.

Interesting stuff!

We're still not planning on giving the vitamin K shot, but I am doing my best to increase my vitamin K intake. Since I'm still nauseated and green smoothies are not exactly appealing right now, I have just started supplementing with alfalfa tablets, which are supposedly a great source of vitamin K. In fact, I need to go take some right now!

What do you think?

Vacation in Flagstaff

2011-12-06T11:56:00.001-08:00

Reposted from my personal blog!

And so, our vacation to Flagstaff! Here it is, in all its glory.

This is truly the vacation that almost didn't happen. Originally it was supposed to be in July, which was when I was good and sick, and it was rescheduled for September (still too sick).... then October (I got sick again, this time with a cold) and finally November. This truly was an event that required some muscle to have happen.

Despite living in the valley for over eight years, I have never been to Flagstaff (heresy!). So it was fun finally to see the town that everyone around here uses as a vacation spot, and in which half of our church's kids attend college.

This was a very short vacation, based on (1) cost, (2) time, and (3), the fact that we were using half of the time not for vacation, but for a trip back to Sedona for Thanksgiving with family. So our vacation was just three days - most of which was spent either holing up in our hotel room watching the food channel, because it was so cold, or trying to get kids ready to go out. Moms of many, you amaze me! Some days we weren't even leaving our room till 11 a.m., after dealing with all the getting up routines. Those of you who are up and out the door by seven really astound me.

Here are some of the things we did!

Snow and visiting the lumberjack at NAU:

Driving by a beautiful Catholic church in downtown Flagstaff. The monument outside (see below) reads, "Joseph's Carpenter Shop: In Memory to All Children Who Have Died Unborn, Known Only to God." How precious! I'm not sure if that is referring to all miscarriages and abortions, or to early miscarriages only, but it was still wonderful. I loved it.

Our hotel room:

Driving out of town to see Lake Mary. Never found Lake Mary (the GPS led us to some obscure ranger station that had nothing to do with a lake), but found the next best thing - more snow! DS played while the Chublet spent time being cute:

Our traditional trip stop at Dairy Queen, where DS talked non-stop to the girls at the front counter (mostly telling them about the Apollo 11 launch) and DH and I enjoyed pumpkin pie blizzards (they seriously need to up the pumpkin and spices in their recipe):

Inventing new uses for hotel ironing boards - improvisatory bed rails!

A quick stop at the Flagstaff mall:

We also stopped at the Little America hotel - it has lots of childhood memories for DH, and it's also where our church held its women's retreat a few weeks ago. I didn't make it to the retreat, but at least I drove by the hotel where it was held! That's got to count for something, right???

Then, in Sedona.....

Fun at our favorite place, Tlaquepaque:

At the labyrinth, which DS chose to do by running madly up and down the path:

(Note: On this trip, I had only two things to wear that were warm enough - a pair of maternity jeans which were, alas, too big - and thus were determined to obey the call of gravity rather than my attempts to make them obey societal rules of modesty, and a pair of overalls which I have dubbed the ugliest maternity pants in the universe. Below you will see the second of those modeled, as I work on my beached whale impression (these are so going to Goodwill!):

By Oak Creek:

Feeding the ducks at our favorite resort:

Other things we did:

- The Lowell Observatory - big hit, too bad we got there when it was closing - next time!

- Babies to Kids toy store - big hit!

- Local park to play

- Beaver Street Brewery for lunch - delicious gluten-free pizza!!

- Downtown Flagstaff

For Thanksgiving with the family, I tried my hand at a few gluten-free items - pumpkin pie (big success!), sweet potato casserole (also a success), and stuffing (err.... ask me next year after I've had a chance to try again).

So, all in all, a good trip. Not as fun as last year, and it didn't help that I was feeling tired, nauseated, out of sorts, and battling an overwhelming desire to go home and scrub the baseboards with bleach (nesting urge continues unabated). But we got through it and had fun. Hopefully next year's trip will be a little less hectic!

This morning blog post was brought to you courtesy of a small boy - who shall remain unnamed - who slept in until ten o'clock. By which means I know that we have serious work to do on our bedtimes around here!

Prenatal Nutrition & Infant Predisposition for Obesity

2011-12-05T18:13:00.000-08:00

This past month, I read an absolutely fascinating book - "Why We Get Fat (And What to Do About It)" by Gary Taubes. May I say that I highly recommend this book? It is an amazing book, and it completely turned my notion of nutritional cuase-and-effect on its head. Easy to read, great information - check it out!! (And this is not just for people trying to lose weight - it's a great read for any and all.)

While reading, I found a fascinating passage on maternal prenatal nutrition and the "inheritance" of obesity between generations. Here it is!

"Fat children tend to be born of fat parents..... Children in the womb are supplied with nutrients from the mother (through the placenta and umbilical cord) in proportion to the level of those nutrients in the mother's blood. This means that the higher the level of the mother's blood sugar, the more glucose her child gets in the womb.

"As the pancreas in that child develops, it apparently responds to this higher dose of glucose by developing more insulin-secreting cells. So, the higher the blood sugar in the pregnant mother, the more insulin-secreting cells her child will develop, and the more insulin the child will secrete as it gets close to birth. The baby will now be born with more fat, and it will have a tendency to oversecrete insulin and become insulin-resistant itself as it gets older. It will be predisposed to get fat as it ages. In animal studies, this predisposition often manifests itself only when the animal reaches its version of middle age. If this observation translates to humnans, then some of us are programmed in the womb to get fat in middle age, even if we show little or no sign of this predisposition when we're young.

"This is almost assuredly the reason why obese mothers, diabetic mothers, others who gain excessive weight during pregnancy, and mothers who become diabetic in pregnancy... all tend to have larger and fatter babies. These women tend to be insulin-resistant and have higher levels of blood sugar.

And the conclusion:

"But if fatter mothers have fatter babies, and fatter babies become fatter mothers, where does it stop? This suggests that, as the obesity epidemic took off, and we all began getting fatter, we began to program more and more of our children from the first few months of their existence to get fatter still. In fact, it wouldn't be surprising if this particular vicious cycle is one cause of the obesity epidemic. Thus we have more than our own health to consider when we get fat. Our children, too, may pay a price, and their children. And each successive generation may find it that much harder to undo the problem." (pp. 131-132)

Fascinating stuff! Check out the book!

The Cesarean Assumption, or Awkward Moments With Children

2011-12-05T09:53:00.000-08:00

The flock of children next door (ages 4-6) is extremely interested in and excited about our new little baby. Every time they come over, they ask the same questions - When will baby be here? Is it a boy or a girl? They're a lot of fun.

A week or two ago, the little six-year-old girl was talking to me about the baby. After going through the usual set of questions, she used her hand to mimic cutting motions on my tummy - obviously mimicking a cesarean section - and said "They take baby out?"

I said "No, no, they're not going to cut the baby out," and thankfully she was soon afterwards distracted, likely saving me from some very awkward questions.

Seriously, what would one say, if she then said "But how....."? I'm all for age-appropriate knowledge - and our 5yo knows all about how babies are born, having been at his brother's birth - but I also believe that the only people filling children in on knowledge about human reproduction should be parents. Not neighbors, or teachers, or the government - parents. So that would have called for some serious hemming and hawing! Or the ever-popular, "Ask your mommy, hon!"

But it is sad to think that a 6yo thinks that babies are born by being cut out of mommy's tummy. I know that's only her in-family knowledge, but it makes me sad to think that she (and lots of other kids) are growing up with that as their knowledge base.

Kids!! Gotta love 'em.

Getting My Five-Year Pin!

2011-12-05T07:48:00.000-08:00

This past Thursday, I finally made it to the five-year mark with nursing - counting both our children, I have now breastfed for a full 60 months (33 months with our eldest, and 27 months - and counting! - with our youngest). Pretty exciting!

We've been through a lot with breastfeeding - blocked ducts, milk blisters, tongue tie, pumping, exclusive bottle feeding while dealing with problems, you name it. Thankfully, we have been surrounded by a very breastfeeding-supportive community (husband, doulas, midwives, lactation consultants, pediatrician, birth community) that has given us the encouragement to work through these problems and continue on.

If there was one thing that I'd say I have learned about breastfeeding, it is that breastfeeding (as a cultural phenomenon) really does take an entire community to support. Sticking a mother out on her own, surrounded by critical or undermining support people (the usual situation for most mothers today), is a sure-fire way to destroy or prevent successful breastfeeding relationships. It's really no wonder that a huge majority of American babies receive formula by six weeks post-birth, because the support just isn't there, though the formula companies are ever-eager to take up that slack.

Thankfully, I have not had the challenge of dealing with hostile family members, as many unfortunately do. My mom has been (mostly) fine with our decision to nurse long-term, and my mother-in-law, though doubtless horrified by our hippie-ness (her babies were all formula-raised), is so sweet that she has never said a word. Have I mentioned how blessed I am to have such a wonderful mother-in-law? She's been great.

Our current breastfeeding challenge is trying to nurse through a pregnancy. It is not easy, my friends! Nursing has gone - throughout the course of the pregnancy - from "mildly uncomfortable" to "moderately uncomfortable" to "ouch-ouch-ouch-ouch! uncomfortable" to "YEEEEEEOOOOUUUUCCCHHHH!!!" uncomfortable over the past few weeks. Yikes!

If I was not quite sure that our little one wasn't ready to stop, I would definitely wean - which is what happened during our last pregnancy. Our eldest was ready, I was ready, and nursing hurt, so we stopped. If I hadn't been pregnant, we could easily have continued for another six to twelve months, but as it is, it was a painless process. With our current little guy, I am determined to do the best I can to continue on so that I can tandem nurse after this new babe arrives. Whether or not I'll be successful is anyone's guess! Though I can always reintroduce if I don't make it the last few weeks - I'd like to get him to at least age three or four before stopping. With his developmental delays, weaning right now would be like weaning a six-month-old - not good.

But anyway, five years is something to celebrate! Here's to breastfeeding!!

Laborious Thoughts, or What Have I Gotten Myself Into Now?

2011-12-04T21:21:00.003-08:00

Reposting from my personal blog!

The clock is ticking! The countdown is on.... we are roughly two months out from baby's arrival, give or take a few weeks. And as that unknown date approaches, I find myself - once again! - intimidated by the thought of going through childbirth again.

Really, I thought I'd gotten past all of that. After all, I've had two unmedicated homebirths. While they were tough and extremely challenging, they were also empowering, transformational, and life-changing. I'm very happy with them.

But.... they were also hard. And the thought of doing it again is quite intimidating.

Of course, it doesn't help that - aside from the usual Bradley exercises - I haven't really done any preparation for this birth. We briefly considered taking childbirth classes, but the astronomical cost (class + babysitting = big bucks) was a bit off-putting. And my free time seems to have dwindled to near-zero, so the thought of listening to a 30-40 minute Hypnobirthing or Hypnobabies tape every night - when I am dead tired and just wanting SLEEP - is less than motivating.

So there it is! I find myself fearing this upcoming birth. Which I shouldn't, of course. My body was made to do this, I can trust God to get me through it, and I have an amazing birth team to support me - DH, one of our doulas from last time, and a great valley midwife.

And I know I'll get through it. It's just the challenge of doing so!

One thing that I know will help is the fact that we have a great doula. The difference between my first and second births, doula-wise, was amazing. With our first birth, we had a lovely woman as doula, but she was just too hands-off for what I needed. I'm the wimpy kind who needs coaching and hand-holding through each and every contraction (though I didn't know that at the time). With my second birth, my two doulas were absolutely awesome (they're the hand-holding type!), and it was so much better. I had no idea what a difference a doula could make!! Absolutely phenomenal.

And of course, it always helps to have done it before. At least there's no fear of the unknown.

So... Does anyone out there have any suggestions for labor prep? Advice, suggestions, stern lectures, etc.? If so, bring it on!

In the meantime, I'll just get back to my chanting - "I think I can! I think I can! I think I can!" (Or maybe not, since I can't stand that children's book. Must find new mantra.)

Quick Update (28w4d)

2011-11-19T07:12:00.001-08:00

Hello, everyone! Goodness, it's been a long time - an entire month! My apologies!! And, having been so long, it's doubtless that I shall forget most things of import. But an update nevertheless.

NVP-wise, doing okay. Some days are better than others, but I'm mostly off of Zofran. For the most part, except for particularly bad days, I just feel mildly nauseated about half the time. Not too bad.

This month has been incredibly busy, but for the life of me I can't remember what on earth we have been doing. Let's see if I can pull out a few snippets:

- We went on our first field trip with our homeschooling support group, to Schnepf Farms. Despite having heard about this place for years, this was our first time out there. DS's favorite part? The playground, of course. Forget the animals, vegetables, etc. - let's go for the swing set! And then, of course, after spending the entire morning saying "When can we leave?", our actual departure was met with "But I don't waannnnaaaa go!!!" What else?

- Our little Chublet is doing amazingly well! We have not picked up with a new Physical Therapist after our last one left her post, but he is still moving slowly ahead meeting milestones - confirming my thoughts that PT wasn't really doing him much good. And life is much nicer with fewer therapists! So we're just sticking with our other two therapists and throwing PT to the wind for a while.

The Chublet has progressed into his first-ever solid foods - he is now eating small slices of ripe banana, cooked sweet potato, and macaroni - hurray!

In physical milestones, he is doing a lot of knees/elbows (new!), bouncing in his door bouncer (also new!), swinging in the baby swing at the playground (also new, his new favorite activity), and lots of other stuff. His main loves still include mealtime (he can out-eat any of us), bath time, and sitting on my lap while I play the piano. If one walks by the piano while holding him and pauses for just a moment, he will have a tantrum while being taken away, because he zeroes in on that piano like a laser beam - it's hilarious.

- In homeschooling, we have just completed our seventh week of curriculum. Hurray! It has definitely been filled with challenges, and I know that I am going to face major hurdles with our son when I actually add in hard-core academics (math, handwriting, etc.) because he does not have one academic bone in his body. Natural curiosity, ingenuity, and mechanical brilliance - yes. Academics - not a bit. Oh well, that challenge is for next year!

- Our visits with our midwife continue to go well. She is a ton of fun, and I love talking with her. She has an absolutely brilliant mind, and probably one of the best minds for facts/figures-retention that I've ever met. If you ever want some birth stats reeled off to you (say, the cesarean rates by state for the past twenty years), just ask and she'll tell you! She's amazing. Baby is continuing to do well, and we're continuing to plan for a guess-arrival-date of early February.

Though it's getting a little late to be thinking about this, I've been thinking lately that I really do need to do some sort of childbirth prep. Lately I've had some good and painful Braxton-Hicks contractions, the kind that approach easy first-stage labor (no, I'm not going into preterm; this happens every time), and I get panicky with them - "No, I can't do this! Must have pain meds!" Apparently I haven't learned much from my first labors. Suggestions, anyone?

In my personal life, I can tell that I am stressed the fact that I am constantly prowling the house looking for things to scrub or throw out. That seems to be my chosen method of stress-relief! (I talked to a girl last week who said that when she gets stressed, she finds herself hoarding things - I am glad I got the opposite tendency!) Decluttering the house is going well, and I'm slowly moving through my before-baby list of things to do.

If we can all avoid getting sick in the next 24 hours, we will be leaving to go on vacation - hurray! It'll be super-short (less than 3 days), but at least it's finally happening after the hundred-and-one delays. I'll post pics when we get back!

I know I've forgotten a lot, but that's all for now!

Local Article - Placenta Medicine Awesomeness!!

2011-11-19T06:50:00.000-08:00

Check out this article, featuring several of our local Arizona birth professionals on the subject of placenta medicine!

Placenta pills treat baby blues, says local birthing community

I am really excited about this article, mainly because it is a major news outlet choosing to give a reasonable piece on placenta medicine, rather than the usual "Weird Hippie Mothers Practice Gross and Disgusting Tribal Cannibalism!" etc. etc. ad nauseum. This is a great change from the usual nonsense/tripe that is published on the subject.

Mamas of the world.... if you haven't checked out placenta medicine, please do! There is so much good to be said about it - the benefits are endless. So thankful that a few mamas might hear about this in the news!

Rights for Homebirth Rally

2011-11-19T06:43:00.000-08:00

Attention, all Arizonans!!

This coming Wednesday, November 23rd, will be a super-important event - a march and rally to support birth choices, followed by a meeting (by four selected delegates) with the Director of Health to discuss changes to the Arizona rules and regulations currently governing Arizona CPM midwives.

Here is the description from the Facebook page:

"This is your chance to show the AZ Dept of Health how important it is for every women to have access to the care provider and location of where she chooses to birth. We will be meeting at Bolin Park at noon and then marching over to the Dept of Health around 12:30pm. Don't forget to look at our invite for SIGN MAKING on MON 21st at Nurturing Hearts!!!"

The address:

Wesley bolin memorial park
1649 W. Adams St.
Phoenix, AZ. 85007

We have been told that getting high numbers of attendees is very important to this event, so bring your family (your neighbors! anyone!) and come on down! I hope to hear great things from this event.

Hurray for Arizona midwives! We have the best in the world, let's show them the support they need!

Endless Impossibilities

2011-11-17T07:34:00.001-08:00

Hi, everyone! I really do need to do an official check-in - look for that over the next three days and bug me if I forget, eh?

In the meantime, I am doing well. That resurgence of NVP lasted in earnest only for one week, and then receded again - thank goodness! Now I just spend about half the time mildly nauseated, sometimes a bit worse, but that's about it - nothing to complain about. And I'm once again almost off of Zofran - not quite, but almost.

Anyhow, the other day I finally got all of my thoughts down on paper as far as "things I want to get done before the baby arrives." I think it's doable!

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!

No, in reality, I might get a third of it done pre-baby. Might. As in "probably not, but whatever." But I thought I'd share it with you all!

In the meantime, despite my ardent desire to skip to the holidays and put in the time scrubbing the house down with bleach, I am working through Thanksgiving cooking and getting ready for our trip next week (provided no one gets sick AGAIN).

Here's my list!

("SAT." refers to a project with which I need hubbie's help, and so is a "Saturday" project.)

To-Do List Before Baby

Done:
- Clean out and file 2010 papers
- Get back into life – routine, child-training, schedules, AWANA/preschool, cleaning, cooking, MOMS Club and outings, etc.
- Start homeschooling, buy curriculum
- Make appointment with Dr. P
- Make haircut appointment

Ongoing:
- Clean, organize, and declutter house

November:
- SAT. - Get started on stocking cars with emergency supplies, per the inventory list we have developed
- SAT. - Vacuum & wash under appliances
- SAT. - Clean high places in house – fans and ledges. Make note to seek out and murder whoever decided to put huge decorative (read: dust-collecting) ledges in each room in this house.
- Switch kids to winter clothes
- Clean & store fans
- Make my Christmas control journal!
- Write Christmas letter
- Address and mail Christmas letter
- Buy & wrap Christmas gifts
- Deal with Thanksgiving
- Go on vacation!
- Cook for Thanksgiving – cranberry sauce, sweet potatoes, pumpkin pie
- Re-do BOB (bug out bag) emergency kit

December:
- SAT. - Clean out garage
- Get G. sleeping through the night
- Move G. out of cradle into crib in his brother’s room
- Move G’s things to his new room
- Have DH fix our doula's computer for partial doula bartering
- Return computer to our doula, do any additional work
- Pay our doula by 36 weeks
- Pay our midwife at 34 week visit
- Buy or exchange car!
- Get carpets cleaned (need to find a good Groupon!)
- Go to Goodwill to get birth supplies (towels, plastic bowls)
- Finish making up birth supplies
- Replace pillows, buy covers for them
- Wash bedspreads & mattress covers
- Plan my lying-in: (1) Make list of places for DH and kids to go, and things to do
- Arrange for postpartum housekeeping (weekly for 4 weeks?)
- Arrange for regular housekeeping help for after that (bimonthly? Quarterly?)
- Deal with Christmas – cooking, gifts, stockings, houseguests, decorations
- Christmas cookies – baking day and giving out
- Prep meals in advance
- Pack hospital bag, add separate bag for C. and G. (clothes, toys, basic toiletries)
- Stock diaper bag and stroller
- Buy postpartum snacks (need ideas!)

January:
- Get or make mix for baby’s birthday cake!
- Make frosting for cake
- Buy non-perishable food/drink for birth team (granola bars, juice, etc.)
- Buy ingredients for placenta smoothies (yogurt, OJ, frozen berries)
- Print birth signs, put with birth supplies
- Order birth kit @ 34-35 weeks
- Stock up on paper plates, bowls, knives/forks/spoons

Right before baby (late January):
- Have smoothie ingredients
- Have cake mix ready

To-Do List When Labor Starts
- Notify midwife & doula
- Go to Sam’s Club: Sandwiches/lunchmeat tray, Fruit, Juice, Granola Bars, Frozen mixed berries, Orange Juice
- Double-make bed
- Set out birth supplies
- Scrub out tub
- Put up birth signs
- Straighten up, check laundry, etc.
- Make a cake!

****

I'll check in later in the week, everyone! Love to all!

Pregnancy & Holidays

2011-11-09T18:12:00.000-08:00

Last night at our Bellies meeting, the topic of the evening was, "How does being pregnant or newly postpartum affect the holidays for you?" etc. etc. etc.

It's an interesting question! I've never been in advanced pregnancy during the holidays; both my previous babes were summer babies, so pregnancy was either begun after the holidays or was in an early state. During my first term pregnancy, I was newly pregnant over the holidays, but I was so horribly sick (lovely, lovely hyperemesis) that all of the holidays completely went out the window, 100%. Some kind friends asked us over for Thanksgiving and/or Christmas so that DH could get a decent dinner, and then we would run home so I could continue vomiting. Lovely!

This time around, with the holiday season beginning, my main thought is "I don't have TIME for this, people!!!" Not that I don't love the holidays - I do! It's my favorite time of year, and I cherish it. But I have found that as soon as my NVP clears up, I spend the rest of each pregnancy in frenetic nesting mode, and my mind right now is centered on how to scrub down the entire house in bleach - not on decorating or buying gifts, LOL! (With my first, I was too sick to nest - only got in about 12 hours of nesting before labor started - but with these last two, it seems to last about half the pregnancy). So right now, my mind is running along lines of "Clean! Polish! Scrub! Declutter! Throw out! Wash, wash, wash!" - not at all along lines of decking any halls with boughs of holly, etc.

What about all y'all out there? How do you feel being pregnant over the holidays?

I should say that one very, very nice thing about being in more advanced pregnancy during the holidays is being able to EAT and not being hideously nauseated - still nauseated, of course, but not seriously. Very, very nice!!

Love to all!!

A Beautiful & Unique Birth - Told Twice!

2011-11-07T20:31:00.000-08:00

An Arizona mama has posted her birth story (with pics), and her midwife has also posted that mama's story, and I just had to share! This is a gorgeous birth, made even better by the fact that it was a birth en caul, that is, a birth where baby was born with intact membranes around her - gorgeous, and my dream birth! I would love to have a caul birth.

Also, I really hope that someone in the textbook business gets notice of these pictures - they are gorgeous, and they would be great for a midwifery and/or obstetrical text! Academians of the birth world, take note!

Here is the birth story from the mama's perspective:

Welcome Earthside Scarlett Sinclaire

And here is the story written out by our mutual midwife, with the caul pictures:

Caul Babies!

A lovely birth! Congratulations to this mama and her family!

A Night on the Town: My First L&D Hospital Tour

2011-11-04T19:04:00.000-07:00

How to tell a true birth junkie: Her idea of "fun" is to sign up for a hospital labor & delivery tour.

And boy, did I have fun! It was great!

Here goes:

We live within a stone's throw (that is, a 10 minute drive) of three hospitals, but I have always had a preference for Mercy Gilbert. For one thing, it's absolutely beautiful (and new!); for another thing, it gets consistently great reviews from both mothers and care providers that I speak to. I think I've only heard one bad review of Mercy Gilbert, which is not too bad.

Being that we had tentatively chosen Mercy Gilbert as our transport hospital, and that I thought an L&D tour would be a ton of fun, I signed up for a tour, and after two reschedulings, last night was finally the night. Here's how it went!

Mine was an evening tour, and I arrived at about dusk. I was again struck with the hospital's beauty as I drove up - gorgeous architecture and exterior lighting, and I loved the statues (of Catholic sisters or priests) in front.

I also love that MG is a smaller hospital - over the past year I have grown used to the huge, institutional-type hospitals (St. Jo's, Phoenix Children's, Chandler Regional, etc.), and I always find their size to be off-putting. I love the smallness and intimacy of Mercy.

I should also note that, on a personal level, I love the fact that Mercy is a Catholic hospital. I have found that my views on life ethics line up almost 100% with orthodox Catholic views, and that makes me much more comfortable as a patient. I would not want to birth in a hospital where babies were being killed in abortions, as is unfortunately the case in most non-Catholic hospitals. My preference on that point is decidedly in favor of Catholic institutions - I feel much more comfortable and secure knowing that both I and my baby will be cared for under ethical principles that I value.

Moving on!

The first thing that struck me while walking up to the front doors was one of the most amazing things I've ever heard - absolutely thunderous birdsong! There were hundreds of tiny birds in their palm trees, and the noise that they made was deafening. Such beauty! I loved it. What a way to add to the atmosphere.

The inside of the hospital was similarly gorgeous and beautifully done. I was extremely impressed - especially as I have grown used to hospital exteriors that resemble cement blocks and hospital interiors that are grungy and unpleasant. This was such a refreshing change. It felt like a refuge or a resort.

The tour guide told me later that Mercy Gilbert has been designated a "healing hospital" - that is, everything about the decor and ambiance (interior design, color schemes, lighting, architecture, plants, etc.) was designed specifically to promote peace and healing. I can attest to the efficacy of their design! I so wish that other hospitals would take that idea into consideration in their plans. It makes such a difference.

When I got to the birth center, I signed in and sat down to wait. The tour consisted of myself and six other couples (five married couples and one seemingly mother-daughter couple). I had wondered if there would be introductions or group interactions ("Okay, everyone, tell your names and when you're due," etc. etc. etc.), but there was none of that. I suppose with a 30 minute tour, there just wasn't time!

Our tour guide was very sweet. She was not a nurse, but a hospital childbirth educator, and she told us that there were some questions that she wouldn't be able to answer but that she would get a nurse to answer those questions (nothing like that came up).

Our tour consisted of going through or by:

- An LDR (labor delivery recovery) room, showing off all the various assets. She mentioned their new labor tub (not birth tub, unfortunately) and the fact that several more are hopefully on order.

- A postpartum room

- The cesarean suite (they have two operating rooms).

- The newborn nursery (they have the capacity to care for newborns 32 weeks and above, so any micro-preemies would have to transfer to another hospital). One thing I loved was the guide's description of Mercy's emphasis on "couplet care" - the practice of keeping the mother and baby together as much as possible, both right after the birth and during the postpartum period - as opposed to routine separation. She emphasized that the nursery was only for babies who really needed extra care or by specific parental request - otherwise, mothers and babies are kept together. Great job on that one!!

- The anesthesia lounge (a room filled with needles, drugs, etc.).

Everything was beautiful and functional, and I was really impressed. It's the first time I've looked critically at an L&D unit. I have only been on an L&D floor twice before, and both times were before I had children and before I became a birth junkie (or indeed, knew anything about birth). It was fascinating to get to see it from the perspective of now knowing a wee bit (though not much) about childbirth.

The only thing there that made me go "eww, yuck!" (beside the squeamishness of the anesthesia room) was the sight of hospital housekeeping carts. For some reason, those always give me the shivers! I have no idea why - doubtless some past association that I've forgotten. But other than that, there was very little of that yucky "hospital" feeling. They really have done a great job.

Two things that I found upsetting/negative:

- A blanket statement that "when you are admitted, you will not be able to eat any more." Apparently Mercy still has a blanket "NO" on mothers eating during labor, despite the fact that the studies showing no harm from intrapartum food consumption are now more than a year old. Very disappointing. I wonder if there is any variation among nurses on enforcing this practice? I hope so! (I think a friend told me that there was.) This is one archaic practice that needs to go. In the meantime, mamas - make sure to bring your own food just in case!

Also, she mentioned that - after the food ban - the decision of whether or not a laboring mother would be allowed clear fluids or would be NPO ("non per os," or nothing by mouth, meaning only IV fluids) would be up to the mother's doctor. Really? Seriously? There are still doctors practicing NPO for laboring mothers? Please, tell me it ain't so!! I find this so incredibly disappointing to hear. (Better take your own drinks, too!)

- Also, I found it discouraging how many decisions were left to the doctor rather than the mother (or mother and doctor jointly). When will I be released from the hospital? "That's up to your doctor." Do you routinely practice delayed cord clamping? (My question.) "That's up to your doctor." I found the lack of patient autonomy to be discouraging. (Though she probably had to say that.)

But other than that, I loved Mercy Gilbert, I had a great time on the tour (I wish it had been longer!) and I am confident that it will be a great transport location should we need it (praying that we don't!).

Of course, as with any hospital, the care that one receives depends primarily on one's midwife or doctor and on the nurses that one gets. I'm very thankful that our midwife has several great groups of hospital care practitioners with whom she works in transport cases so that we are sure of good care once we get to the hospital, should the need arise.

After the tour, I stayed behind and thanked the guide for her time. She asked me if I planned to birth at Mercy, and I told her that we have our babies at home but that Mercy would be our transport hospital, and she was very sweet. Afterwards, one of the women on the tour told me that she had had all of her babies at home (a long time ago) and was very enthusiastic about our plans.

And there you have it! Maybe I'll do another hospital for fun sometime, to compare, but for now, this was a great start. I loved Mercy Gilbert! Thanks for a great tour, and congratulations on all the wonderful work you are doing to promote a healing atmosphere, provide water-labor capacities, and serve the birthing women of our community!

In Which an Unwanted Guest Returns (25w5d)

2011-10-30T13:08:00.001-07:00

I'll check in for real (as in, a life update) sometime soon, but in the meantime....

Remember that whole "I'm off Zofran!" thing? Well, it was extremely short-lasting - 24 hours, to be precise. I've been back on the stuff ever since, and have actually had to increase the dosage - back to 8 mg Zofran and two Diclectin per day. And unfortunately, I've gone from "I'm feeling okay most of the time!" to "I'm feeling blech!" for about half of the day.

Not that that's anything to complain about. Because it's not! I have much to be grateful for. After all, HG has been avoided this pregnancy, and I'm pretty much completely functional - I'm eating, cooking, teaching, going places, doing a wee bit of housework - nothing to complain about.

So I'll keep my whining to a strict minimum, I promise!

But it is odd. I have never experienced the third-trimester NVP-return before, so it is odd that it seems to be occurring during my by-FAR easiest pregnancy ever. I don't really know what to expect (is it going to get worse? will it last till the end?) or what to do about it (besides the meds). Hopefully it will go away, because I was starting to finally enjoy this pregnancy!!

More later, right now it is NAP TIME, hurray!!!

Birth Plan Rough Drafts: Home and Hospital and Transport, Oh My!

2011-10-22T16:51:00.001-07:00

I've been working on these for ages - here they are, for your consideration and amusement!! Rough drafts only, hopefully to be finished up in the next 10 weeks or so so that they can be printed and ready to go.

A few notes (and I'll add more notes throughout the document):

- I have tried to utilize Rixa's "Just Do It!" principle, which I absolutely love. A quote from that:

"What if we simply stopped asking permission? What if we simply did what we wanted to? What if the mantra of laboring women became "don't ask, just do"?

"Don't ask if you can eat or drink. Just do it. Don't ask if you can get out of bed or walk around or go to the bathroom. Don't ask if you can change positions or give birth kneeling or squatting. Just do it.

"Do it with confidence. Do it with an "I know what I'm doing, and please don't mess with me!" attitude.

"Just do it."

With that in mind, I have tried to eliminate everything from my birth plans that does not need the cooperation of hospital staff (this isn't an issue with homebirth). For example, I haven't written "I'll be eating and drinking" or "I'll be laboring in different positions" - in those cases, I would just do it. Good thing to remember! (Also cuts down on verbage.)

You will notice that I have a hospital birth plan in here as well as a transport plan - this is just for my own amusement (I love writing birth plans!), as we are not planning a hospital birth. A hospital birth plan is considerably different from a transport plan - for example, a hospital birth plan might say "no pain meds, no IV, etc. etc. etc.," but in case of a transport, we probably need whatever is being offered!

You will also notice that the homebirth plan is considerably different from a hospital or transport plan, and this is because (thank goodness!) I don't have to fight my homebirth midwives on the subject of unwanted interventions like restricted mobility, restricted food/liquid intake, routine IV insertion, continuous fetal monitoring, etc. etc. etc. Good stuff.

I have also tried not to mention anything that isn't vitally important to me. For example, you will see repeated mentions of delayed cord clamping - because that is extremely, extremely important to me. An absolute must. But birthing positions, on the other hand, are not important to me - and thus I have not mentioned them. It's not that I don't know that certain positions are better than others, but for me, by the time I get to pushing, I don't care what position I'm in simply because I loathe pushing so much (please remember that most women love the pushing phase!). So for me, I don't care if I'm squatting, lying down, whatever - so I didn't write about that.

I have also tried to (1) keep each plan brief (each is under one typed page), and (2) keep each plan friendly rather than combative/confrontational - both good things to do when interfacing with hospital staff.

I'd love some input here! Have I missed anything? Comments welcome!!

******

Homebirth Birth Plan

- Please take lots and lots of pictures and videos! Of anything and everything, both graphic and modest.

- I prefer to avoid cervical checks. In case it’s really necessary, please do not tell me my dilation unless it’s really necessary or it’s super-encouraging (i.e. complete!).

- I really don't know how women can stand knowing their dilation - to me, anything other than "ten!" is incredibly discouraging. I learned that with my first birth, and now it's a must.

- I need lots of verbal support, coaching, and encouragement – please! And don’t be surprised that I’m really wimpy and extremely loud.

- For afterpains: Placenta smoothie as soon as the placenta is available – yogurt and OJ in fridge, mixed berries and bananas in freezer, blender on counter. Thank you!!! Also, I’d like to take four Advil and some Arnica as soon as baby is out.

- With both my babes, extreme afterpains have prevented both immediate bonding and immediate breastfeeding. After I learned how much placenta medicine helped, I determined to make that an immediate priority. I'd like someday to be able to enjoy the immediate postpartum!

- Birth team – Snacks in fridge! Remember not to park on the street if it is Wednesday or Friday (use driveway or center section).

- J. would love to catch and also cut the cord (delayed!).

- C. (our son) may or may not want to be present for the birth (undecided).

- In case of hospital transport:
          o Someone grab the hospital bag, camera, and video camera
          o Nab the placenta pronto! Don’t let it get away! Very important!
          o Please do everything possible to advocate for delayed cord clamping, regardless of how the birth ends up (even with c/s).
          o I would love still to practice placenta medicine as soon as is humanly possible.

******

Hospital Transport Birth Preferences

- Parents: Diana J. & Joe J.

- To our hospital caregivers: Thank you for taking care of us!

- Our midwife is Stephanie ------ of --------- Birth Services (XXX-XXX-XXXX). Our doula is ------- (XXX-XXX-XXXX). We ask that one or both of them be able to stay with us at all times.

- I love verbal encouragement, the more the better.

- I tend to be rather loud during labor. Please just ignore me, I’ll be fine.

- I prefer to avoid cervical checks. In case it’s really necessary, please do not tell me my dilation unless it’s really necessary or it’s super-encouraging (i.e. complete!)

- Please do not clamp/cut the umbilical cord until it is completely finished pulsing, preferably until the placenta is out. We would love it if any neonatal resuscitation could be done near Diana so that the cord can remain intact. In case of cesarean, please still leave the cord to pulse as long as is possible. Joe would love to cut the cord.

- I would like an unmanaged 3rd stage and to deliver the placenta without assistance. Please, no Pitocin outside of emergency circumstances.

- A lot of hospitals practice routine pitocin administration during 3rd stage, even during uncomplicated births. I would like to avoid that.

- We will take our placenta home with us.

- In case of cesarean birth: We would love still to have delayed cord clamping (as much as possible) during a cesarean birth.

- For Baby: Please, no Hep B shot, eye ointment, newborn screen (we will do this in a few days), or vitamin K (except in case of a physically traumatic birth). We will be breastfeeding. We would love uninterrupted mother-baby time immediately following the birth, baby’s health allowing. Please make sure in case of mother-baby separation that Joe stays with the baby.

- Thank you for your kindness, support, and care!

********

Hospital Birth Preferences

- Parents: Diana J. & Joe J.

- To our hospital caregivers: Thank you for taking care of us!

- No IV or heplock.

- This is an absolute must, no discussion allowed. And if someone did stick me with an IV, I would immediately rip it out. It is that important. Period.

- I love verbal encouragement, the more the better.

- Please don’t offer me drugs. I would love a third unmedicated birth, but I am a wimp around pain and don’t need the temptation.

- I tend to be rather loud during labor. Please just ignore me, I’ll be fine.

- I choose to decline routine cervical checks. If a check is medically necessary, please do not tell me my dilation unless it’s really necessary or it’s super-encouraging (i.e. complete!).

- Please do not clamp/cut the umbilical cord until it is completely finished pulsing, preferably until the placenta is out. We would love it if any neonatal resuscitation could be done near Diana so that the cord can remain intact. In case of cesarean, please still leave the cord to pulse as long as is possible. Joe would like to cut the cord.

- I would like an unmanaged 3rd stage and to deliver the placenta without assistance. Please, no Pitocin outside of emergency circumstances.

- We will take our placenta home with us.

- In case of cesarean birth: We would love still to have delayed cord clamping (as much as possible) during a cesarean birth.

- For Baby: Please, no Hep B shot, eye ointment, newborn screen (we will do this in a few days), or vitamin K (except in case of a physically traumatic birth). We will be breastfeeding. We would love uninterrupted mother-baby time immediately following the birth, baby’s health allowing. Please make sure in case of mother-baby separation that Joe stays with the baby.

- Thank you for your kindness, support, and care!

Friday (24w3d)

2011-10-21T18:46:00.001-07:00

Reposted from my personal blog!

***

Hi, everyone! Sorry it has been so incredibly long since I checked in! Last week we had an impromptu visit from my parents, and life has just been incredibly busy around here with homeschooling and trying to reconstruct my life post-NVP (the usual!).

Speaking of NVP, today is (can you guess????)...... drum roll, please..... my first day without Zofran!!!! Yes!!! Really!!! (*Insert wild party dance here*) My nausea levels have been dropping even more drastically these past few weeks, allowing me to drop a medication dose every couple of days. So far today I have had only one Diclectin (Unisom), and if all goes well I'll be cutting that out soon too. Can you believe it?? Last time I was on Zofran till the early-thirty-something weeks; this time it has been so much sooner. I am so grateful!

Homeschooling is going pretty well.... considering the moderate dose of schooling that we're starting with, there aren't any huge difficulties to overcome (we're done each day in under an hour) - the true challenges will probably start next year - or rather, when our new babe arrives and I'm trying to homeschool a kindergartener with two babies underfoot. I think life is going to get pretty hairy after this new little one arrives!

Speaking of arrivals, the birth of this babe is looking a lot closer from this side of twenty weeks! Yikes!! Not only is the thought of birth intimidating (it always is!), but I have so much to do before then! Getting through the holidays, organizing my birth supplies, decluttering the house... more than I can ever possibly accomplish. But I'll do my best.

Speaking of decluttering, I have arisen out of the mists of NVP to find - as usual - that our house was trashed in the process. It gets worse with each child, I'm afraid! But unfortunately, my decluttering time also decreases with each child. So right now I'm using a method that works well for me - printing off a blank calendar and just trying to write in one small decluttering project that I've done each day, regardless of how small (usually it's just cleaning out one drawer, or some such thing). I'm also using the "Throw Out 100 Things" challenge - writing down things as I toss them in order to find further motivation.

Other family news:

Last week we had our first majorly-bleeding-child episode as parents. No one saw what happened, but it was something along the lines of run-slip-fall-crack in the kitchen, with the end result that our eldest ended up with a nice gash on his head that bled copiously - everywhere! When the blood was cleared up and staunched, it turned out to be only about an inch long, but my goodness - how it bled! Add into that mix a thoroughly hysterical child, and you'll get an idea of the fun we had. Thankfully my dad was around - he has absolutely no nerves (the end result of having grown up as a mortician's son and being trained in the business) and was able to take command of the situation beautifully. We didn't end up having to go into the hospital, and all is well.

Also last week, in the next episode of "the lost and found cat" - said cat is now, once again, lost. She managed to slip out of a cracked door, and despite an hour long hunt by DH, has once again vanished into the mist. We have no idea when or if we'll see her again.

I have mixed feelings on the subject. On the one hand, she is a great cat and I don't want her going hungry out there. On the other hand, I definitely was not thrilled to have another cat, especially as it is so difficult navigating between warring cats (our other cat is a bully) - should she come back, I will be actively searching for a new home for her. For now, we wait.

Big news of today - I finally got our little dude to voluntarily take some solid food, and without (too much) gagging!! It was thinly sliced quartered banana, and I got him to take it with each meal - by dinner time, he was eager for it! This is major, major, major improvement and progress, and super-exciting. I'm thinking of other things I can try - pear? watermelon? Anything to finally move forward!

We saw our midwife two weeks ago, and all is well with baby - perfect measurements, all looking well. I really enjoy talking with her and getting to know her better, and we're having a lot of fun.

Well, I'd probably be getting on with chores for the evening! I hope everyone is well, and I'll try to check in again soon!

Placenta Medicine Awesomeness

2011-10-19T13:48:00.000-07:00

Have I ever omitted to post anything and everything that I find on placenta medicine? No, I have not!

Why not?

Because placenta medicine is so amazingly awesome - I want the world to know about it! Once one gets over the "eww yuck" factor, there are so many wonderful benefits from this practice.

And so, without further ado.....

An article by one of my wonderful doulas, Nikki:

The Placenta Lady

And, if you can believe it, this article was posted on the blogs of one of our local OB practices. Is that not amazing, wonderful, superb? Hurray for Boojum Obstetrics!

Nikki says:

"My own personal experience was enough to convince me that placental medicine works. I had my daughter at a time in my life when emotions were high. My mother in law died unexpectedly 2 weeks before my due date. She and my father in law were supposed to visit our new daughter and us shortly after her due date. Obviously, that didn’t happen. My father in law and sister in law came instead and I spent a good part of my recovery from a difficult vaginal birth entertaining heartbroken relatives while trying to grieve myself. Amazingly, even through all of that, I experienced only 1 weepy day. Previously, postpartum, for me, meant 2-3 weeks of crying non-stop until I ended up using medications. I was so surprised and encouraged that it worked!"

Good stuff!

And another short article on the same subject:

Placentophagia: Benefits of Eating the Placenta

From that article:

"In Western cultures, eating the placenta is often viewed as barbaric, but thanks to new information about the surprising benefits, there has been a recent push among young mothers to eat the placenta after giving birth. While many Western doctors discourage placentophagia with the claim that it carries no inherent benefits, studies have shown that eating the placenta can curb postpartum depression, replenish nutrients, increase milk production, and slow postpartum hemmorrhage." (emphasis mine)

And on the "risks" associated with placentophagia:

"Many doctors, especially in Western culture, have expressed some concern that eating the placenta may spread disease such as HIV, hepatitis, and other blood-borne illness. However, placentophagia is traditionally practiced only by the mother and not by other parties, so there is no risk of spreading disease. If she has a disease, she cannot reinfect herself, and if she is not currently ill, she cannot become ill from eating her own placenta."

So, to summarize: Placenta medicine has no risks and a plethora of benefits - it is something that needs to make it out there to the general public! I simply could not believe the difference that placenta medicine made for me after my second birth - it was night and day difference after I started to use it, and I will never voluntarily omit it from my postpartum regimen!

If you haven't looked into this yet, please do!

Reaching that Magical Week

2011-10-18T11:00:00.000-07:00

This week we reach 24 WEEKS - a very, very exciting time - namely, in American terms, the week of fetal viability!

One midwife I know calls the 24th week the "magical week of fetal viability." In very approximate terms, the babe who is born at 24w0d has a 10% chance of survival, and of those who survive, only 10% will survive without longterm problems. But the babe who is born at 24w6d will have an 80% chance of survival, and of those who survive, 80% will survive without longterm problems. What an enormous difference a week brings! A magical week indeed - and today we start our journey through that week.

Quote on Miscarriage

2011-10-17T22:27:00.000-07:00

Today, as I flipped through my Vision Forum catalog, I came across the following quote regarding miscarriage, taken from the CD "The Biblical Theology of Miscarriage: How to Have Hope in Tragedy":

"What if miscarriage was God's means of showing mercy and love on a human soul, and if He chose you to be the honored vehicle to usher that child into eternity? Miscarriage is for a moment, a soul is forever."

- Doug Phillips

Something about that really struck home with me - I loved it. I believe that human life begins at conception and is fully human, unique, sacred and precious from that moment. Unborn babies who are lost to miscarriage, early or late, are just as human - and as special and precious - as the babes whom we eventually get to hold in our arms. I love to remember that, especially as modern attitudes toward miscarriage tend more towards "It wasn't really a baby yet anyway" or "It's better this way, you wouldn't want an unhealthy child, right?" etc. etc. etc. The above quote is a really interesting perspective, and I'd love to hear more.

Hopefully I'll get to hear the whole CD sometime!

Article List on Delayed Cord Clamping

2011-10-16T13:33:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago, at the request of a friend, I put together a short list of internet articles on the subject of delayed umbilical cord clamping - one of my huge, overwhelming passions that I am enthusiastically committed to championing (as my Facebook acquaintances know only too well). Women out there, if you do not know the risks of immediate cord clamping (still the usual in-hospital practice), then please - do your research and find a practitioner who will support physiologic cord clamping for your baby (this is when the cord is not clamped until the placenta has delivered the full volume of the baby's blood back to the baby, rather than clamping the cord immediately and depriving the baby of a vast amount of blood that it would otherwise receive.)

To start, here is probably one of the best visual aids on the subject, posted two days ago by my midwife. Check it out, and you will see the "why" of delayed cord clamping - an awesome picture record of the process of natural cord clamping!

Magic Umbilical Cords

A couple more articles I have recently found:

Another Reason to Delay Cord Clamping

Could Early Cord Clamping Harm Neonatal Stabilization?

Giving You Newborn the Best Start: Delayed Cord Clamping

OMG, You Did Not Just Cut Off a Third of My Baby's Blood Supply!

Also, from my midwife - check out #4 on cord clamping (the other points are great too!):

Myths-Understandings

And now the letter that I sent to my friend, with accompanying links:

***

Hi, M.!

Three Facebook groups for delayed cord clamping (the first two are the most active):

Delayed Cord Clamping

Cord Clamping
(Accompanying website: Cord-clamping.com)

Save the Shoelaces

Best article on the subject of delayed cord clamping:

Delayed Cord Clamping Should Be Standard Practice in Obstetrics/

And here is the same OB/GYN giving a talk on the same:

Delayed Cord Clamping Grand Rounds

Another top article by an L&D Nurse (this is a great blog):

The Deal With Delayed Cord Cutting or Hey Doctor Leave That Cord Alone

A news summary of a recent article in the British Medical Journal:

Don't Clamp Umbilical Cords Straight After Birth, Urges Expert

And a couple more:

Wait to Cut Umbilical Cord, Study Says

Do We Cut the Umbilical Cord Too Soon?

"Delayed" Cord Clamping and Stem Cells - When to Cut the Cord?

Also, if you google "benefits delayed cord clamping," you will come up with a TON of articles!!

Best wishes to J. and her little one!!!

Diana

****

Ladies out there - got any more that I should have listed?

Awesome Article for National Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Day

2011-10-15T07:42:00.000-07:00

This article on miscarriage and pregnancy loss was written by a good friend of mine, who has lost five babies through miscarriage, and I just loved it! Check it out here.

Here's a snippet from the article itself:

"1 in 4 lose a child, and yet the American dialogue remains largely silent on the subject. I think that's one of the reasons that it's rather hard to cope with. I can't speak to losing a child I've carried to term, but at least in the case of miscarriage, there are no pictures. There are few to no pleasant memories. In early miscarriage, there's not even visible physical evidence of your child's existence. There are no funerals. There's just a void in your heart for the baby you loved the moment you knew of her existence. A void that only that child can fill. Though Matthew fills up my whole heart, there are still simultaneously 5 baby-shaped, whole-heart sized holes that are reserved for his siblings.

"But the world keeps going. It's maddening. You want everything to stop so that you can process what just happened, but the rest of the world keeps going, without even knowing your child existed. I remember the night of my first miscarriage, we'd been in the hospital all day and I'd lost a ton of blood. I left weak and hungry, so we went to a restaurant. They asked us if it was "just the two of us" and I nearly lost my head with the realization that the answer was "yes" even though hours before, it had been "no." Miscarriage grief can be a very lonely, silent kind of pain. Most of the world answers it with, "Goodness, get over it already. It's not like it was a REAL baby," as though your child was not yet old or big enough to have caused you pain to lose. Or, "you can have another baby," as if a new baby could take that baby's place. Or "Maybe there was something wrong with that baby, so thank God He took the baby early." Or the ever-generic, "these things happen for a reason." Especially among people who claim to be pro-life, it blows my mind to hear them. Or, people just say nothing. No matter how early in their life they are born to heaven, he or she is still a real baby who has died. Empty arms and an empty cradle await the parents who were so anxious to meet their little one."

Great stuff. Read and pass along!!

Beautiful Birth Story in Pictures

2011-10-12T22:42:00.000-07:00

Just had to check in really quickly to post a link to this birth story that my midwife posted on her birth blog - it is lovely, and is also really great birth photography - very clear pics of a waterbirth! These should be used to teach classes!! Someone needs to pic up on these for use in midwifery/med schools! Congrats to this family as they welcome their new little one.

Quick update on me: I am not dead, regardless of the evidence otherwise, and am starting to feel much better as the NVP gradually leaves. The next time I blog on my personal blog, I am going to start cross-posting the posts here, so that I can record my pregnancy on both blogs as it goes along. We are now 23 weeks, and the finish line is looking waaaayyyyy too close from here! Too much to do!

Love to all, I will check in soon!

Delayed Cord Clamping Article

2011-10-03T07:23:00.001-07:00

Just really quickly had to post this article that I saw posted on Facebook regarding delayed cord clamping. Great stuff, and even better pictures! Check it out, and share!!

An Amazing Story

2011-10-02T19:59:00.000-07:00

Cross-posting this from my hyperemesis blog, ladies! It is my strong belief that every birth professional and birth junkie needs to have a working knowledge of hyperemesis gravidarum, because ignorance in this area causes mothers acute suffering and can cost lives. Definitely take the time to go through this story!!

This story comes from a client of my midwife, here in town, who had her babe two weeks ago. (She is a client of both my midwife and one of my doulas, also mentioned.) She has an amazing story, and I wanted to share it!

The more I delve into the HG world, the more I realize how blessed I was in regard to the "mildness" of my HG. When I came out of my HG pregnancy, I was under the impression that I had been to Hell and back and had personally grappled with Satan himself. That's what that pregnancy felt like. But when I read stories like this (and like the stories of lots of you mamas out there), I realize how easy I had it. You ladies out there are such amazing warriors for your little ones.

Here goes!

(I have put all names as initials to protect privacy.)

*****

For those who don't know, I had a very challenging pregnancy. I struggled with hypermesis gravidarum (HG) for nearly the entire time. HG is basically a severe form of morning sickness. It is kind of like having food poisoning that lasts for weeks on end, but it's not. It is so much worse.

Please know that I haven't covered everything that I experienced or felt during my pregnancy. Some things are just too painful to rehash. However, I am trying really hard to heal from all the damage HG caused. I'm hoping by letting some of this out, I can help myself let it all go. I don't want to hold on to these feelings anymore, especially now that A. is here. It is her time now, and I don't want anything to come between us anymore.

I do also share what I believe is the proudest moment of my life. I am so thankful that I was able to give A a beautiful, quiet, peaceful, and loving birth. With everything that she had to experience while growing in my belly, it just fills me with joy to know she had the most perfect arrival.

Lastly, I talk a little about what is going on postpartum. To tell you the truth, I never expected to be dealing with my HG issues AFTER birth. Yes, I am not nauseous. Yes, I can eat anything I want. Yes, I'm not puking. Don't get me wrong, all these things are wonderful, but I still haven't healed emotionally. I knew HG had taken its toll on me, but I guess I didn't realize just how hurt I am by it all. I honestly thought once Aria was here, it would all fade away like a bad nightmare. Unfortunately that just hasn't been the case.

My Pregnancy

At 5 weeks, I am exhausted. Not just sleepy tired, but down right run down. All I could do was sleep. At 6 weeks the nausea and vomiting have started. By 9 weeks I can barely keep any food or drink down. At this point I see a doctor for a prescription of Zolfran to help calm my issues. The meds don’t seem to be helping and I go a couple days without being able to keep food or drink down. Exhausted and dehydrated I go to the ER. Weeks 10 through 12 are a huge struggle. I’m vomiting about 15 to 20 times a day. Nothing is staying down, not even water. I get a different prescription for Phenergan. This medication completely knocks me out. It was so hard to believe that a medication which had that strong of an effect on my body could truly be safe for my baby, but my hands were tied. Not eating and drinking wouldn’t be safe for the baby either. Week 13 and home health care has finally been setup and approved. A nurse comes out and hooks me up to an IV and Zolfran pump. I have the IV on and off for the next five weeks. The Zolfran pump stays for the next three months. Weeks 14 through 25 are horrible. Even with the medication and IV I am puking everything that passes my lips. At one point the only way I could keep small amounts of water down was to blend ice and eat the snow. I was a freaking mess. By 26 weeks I manage to be off the pump. I am still puking at least 4 times a day, but when you drop down from 20, 4 seems like a piece of cake. At least at this point I can keep food and water down. I am still taking oral meds once in a while, however I am trying really hard not to. Weeks 27 through 37 are better. By no means was I back to normal. I would still have some good days, and then have some crappy days (crappy really isn’t a strong enough word…). But again I was actually able to keep food and drink down, even though I was still vomiting. Weeks 38 through 41 and I feel much better. I only vomit a couple times during these weeks, but the nausea is still there.

Needless to say, being pregnant has been one of the worst things to happen to me. Thank you HG. HG robbed me of a time in my life that was supposed to be exciting, beautiful, fun, joyful, etc. HG took away my ability to connect with our unborn baby. How could I love something that was causing me such pain and sickness? At times I was actually resentful towards our baby. I would sit and cry for hours thinking about how horrible of a mom I was that I couldn't nurture and love this baby yet.

HG isolated me. Not just physically from the world around me, but also emotionally. Physically, I couldn't go anywhere. When you are puking all the time, it’s hard to leave the house. Then there was also the motion sickness. It was bad. I couldn't watch TV, look at a computer screen, read a book. It all made me horribly nauseous. Try passing time when all you can do it lay there. Well you can't. There was nothing to take my mind away from the HG, so I would sit there and just think about it all. Not good. Emotionally, I felt separated from everyone, especially any woman who was pregnant or had been pregnant. I HATED speaking to them about my pregnancy, especially when they started talking about theirs. They would talk about cute little cures like crackers and coke, or say they “know” how I felt because they puked too (although they still went to work, could drive, could eat and drink, you know pretty much function like a normal human being). It didn't help that I hated them and was jealous of them. It was really hard. It didn't feel like anyone could understand. But how could they?

HG almost took away A's homebirth. I'll never forget the appointment with my midwife where she looked at me and said something about 28 weeks. Honestly I don't remember her exact words, I just remember thinking I've got 10 weeks to pull myself together or I'm going to lose the homebirth too. That thought was almost unbearable. I was already super freaked about the amount of drugs being pumped into my body and the effects they were having on my baby. Then I had to start considering what would mostly likely happen at a hospital. Pitocin, epidural, IV's, antibiotics, high likely hood of c-section, oh and all the damn germs. I just didn't want that for my baby, but really it wasn't up to me. HG isn't something you can just "pony up" to and get over. You have no control, as much as you wish you did. Yet, by 26 weeks, I was off the pump and the home health care. I was still puking like 4 times a day, but that was manageable. Plus I could actually keep food and water down. The homebirth was saved. Thank God.

HG also forced me to compromise my morals. I am a vegetarian, but wasn't during my pregnancy. HG took that from me too. Beans, grains, fruits, vegetables, and nuts would all come up. And I mean all of it. Still at 38 weeks I could barely choke down a banana or raw carrot without my nauseous levels skyrocketing and puking. With this forced diet change also came a HUGE load of guilt. I couldn't stand the fact that my diet, well when I could eat, consisted of processed foods and meat. That's it. I freaked every time I thought about the lack of nutrition that I was giving my body. I mean if I wasn't giving myself the proper nutrients, how on earth was my baby getting what she needs?

My HG also took its toll on C. (husband). He was forced to take care of everything, and I mean everything. Working a full time job, feeding us, keeping the house clean, taking care of the animals, and the hardest part—taking care of me. Cleaning out bowls and bowls of puke. Helping me in and out of bed because the Zolfran pump made me so sore I couldn't do it alone. Plus, at times, I was even attached to an IV. Sore, strapped to a pump and connected to an IV… it's almost impossible to get around. He had to stab me every day with a needle, because the Zolfran injection sites cause so much trauma to your body that they have to be moved just about every day. Two months off the pump, and you could still feel the bumps in my legs. He would help me shower (when I actually could stand it, and even then I would often vomit afterwards), help me dress, brush my hair, help me to the toilet, you name it, C. had to do it for me. On top of all that, he had to deal with how mentally unstable I was. I was a wreck. I was sick, I was scared, I was sad, depressed, and worried. I was angry, helpless, fearful. I hated the guilt, the resentfulness towards baby and others. Really I was a MESS. Try and console that. You can't. You have to sit there and watch me cry, sit there and take it when I scream. Sit there and just watch me fall into a depression. Oh and of course I knew all this. I knew just how much stress I was putting on C., and it killed me.

I feel like I could go on and on about all the layers and layers of unhappiness, guilt, fear, sadness, and resentfulness that I feel about my pregnancy. I'm working really hard to let it all go, especially now that I have my beautiful daughter in my arms, but it is hard. I mean just the other day (yes I am taking about AFTER A's birth), I woke three times in the middle of the night to the sound of my Zofran pump going off. Each time it took me a while to shake all the bad feelings. Healing is a process I guess.

A's Birth

Sunday September 18th

I awake to what I thought were cramps. I soon realize these pressure waves are different. They are requiring a little more of my concentration, but I can still function quite normally. My midwife had promised me I would "know" when I was in labor, and since I was still questioning it I thought for sure it wasn't time yet. So I go about my day. My mom comes over for a visit. We order Mexican food, watch football (C's idea), chat and relax. It was a nice and relaxing day. That evening the pressure waves continue to get stronger, but again, I was still questioning it. I decide to make cupcakes and cookies for our doula and midwives. I was secretly hoping that if I made these treats my birthing time would start right away.

Monday September 19th

I text Rose (our doula) at 11 AM telling her the pressure waves are averaging 9 minutes apart. I've got ants in my pants just sitting at home, so C. and I head out for our two favorite things. Cassanova Pizza and Bergies Coffee. Pizza and coffee in hand we head back home. At 1 PM I text Rose that I can't exactly talk during the pressure waves anymore, but that they are still about 10 minutes apart. At 7 PM I text again saying they are 7 minutes apart and strong. I still remember during all this time not having that "ah ha" moment, and thinking well this can't be it then. But Rose suggested I give Stephanie (our midwife) a heads up, so I text her as well. 9pm and pressure waves are super strong and 4 minutes apart. 10 PM I call Rose and ask her to come over. At 11 PM Rose is over and she and C. work on setting up the pool.

Tuesday September 20th

My times are going to get murky now, but I have a rough idea of what went on. We have a very small water heater which meant it was going to take forever to heat the pool up, so C. went to put some water on the stove. Of course I just assumed that he was going to use our giant canning pot to heat up the water, but as I look over to the kitchen I see him filling up this tiny little pot of water. I start cracking up. I'm laughing so hard, I can barely speak. Here is my husband trying to fill this giant pool with a pot that holds about 12 cups of water. Good luck with that hunnie! It just seemed so silly to me, but it was really nice to have a good laugh. We eventually get the pool filled up and I get in. It feels good to be in the water, and the pressure waves seem to be slowing down and becoming less intense. I start chatting with Rose about if she should stay or go since things seemed to be slowing down. I just didn't know what to do.

As a side note, during this all this time our cat had been put away so he wouldn't be bothersome while setting everything up. Then the cat got let in. Less than two minutes in the room and our stinking cat jumps on the pool and puts three very nice puncture holes in the pool. So C. and Rose get to work breaking down the pool and setting up her other one. I have no idea how much time passes here. I just remember the pressure waves getting stronger again. Rose suggests I get back in the pool. The pressure waves are really taking my concentration now. Again, I have no idea how much time passes here, but around 3:15 AM I feel a pop. My water has broken. The pressure waves come and they come strong. Finally I have my "ah ha" moment. I know it is my birthing time now! Rose asks me to tell her when I start to feel pressure. I think I remember feeling that pressure right away, which I didn't like. It felt like I needed to use the bathroom. I was terrified of accidentally going to the bathroom in the pool. I know this can be a normal process for any woman in labor, pool or not, but I just couldn't do it. So C. helps me to the bathroom and I labor on the toilet. I was horrified that my husband had to see me in this position, but I was also horrified of going to the bathroom in the pool. Then eventually the pressure waves made me not care anymore.

Back in the pool and I try a new position leaning back against the pool. I sit through one pressure wave and it is horrible, so I tell myself I am going to "finger drop" for the next one. I don't know how I did it, since I hadn't been practicing my hypnobabies (Thank you HG) but I manage to "finger drop" getting through the pressure wave much easier. The next pressure wave comes and I am back on my knees leaning over the pool hanging on to C's hands. No more hypnobabies (sorry Noelia, but I did try!) I remember crying and cussing. The pressure waves sucked. Then C. asked Jen (our other midwife) a question. I don't know what he said, but I remember her saying that I would feel burning. Next pressure wave in and I feel the burning. Pressure wave after pressure wave and I feel more burning and more pressure. It was time to push. Jen tells me that I can take control. It felt so good to hear that. My entire pregnancy had been out of my control, and I just got permission to take the reins and do what I wanted/needed. 18 minutes of pushing and at 5:01 am our baby was born right into her daddy's arms and passed to me. C. says "it’s a boy,” and for the next 15 minutes we think we have a sweet little boy. It is time to cut the cord and I move our little boy… SURPRISE! It's a girl! C. cuts her cord and then I snuggle back up to her.

At this point I still have not birthed the placenta and I am getting quite frustrated and annoyed. I would like to focus on my beautiful daughter, but I couldn't because of my placenta. So C. takes our daughter tight in his arms. I remember feeling horrible that I couldn't spend these precious moments with my daughter, but I also knew she was safe in her daddy's arms. I'm not sure how much time passes but finally, with a little help, I am able to birth the placenta. My daughter is back in my arms. I was in a state of shock. It was hard to believe HG was over, and that here in my arms was our beautiful daughter.

Postpartum

The one thing that I held on to throughout my pregnancy was this idea that once the baby is here it is all over. This idea that I'll finally get to bond and connect with my baby. That I will finally get to love on her and enjoy what I have been trying to for the past 10 months. I never prepared myself for the reality of what it is like after a baby. I had no idea just how painful and miserable breastfeeding could be. For 10 months I had been telling myself when she's here I finally get to love her and enjoy her. Yet I found that at least every two hours my baby was still causing me pain. During these moments that I wanted to be bonding with my daughter, all I could think about is how much I wanted her off me. I hated it. Then all those HG feelings just rushed back to the surface and I was drowning in them. I would see my husband all cuddled up to his daughter telling her how much he loves her and I would just ball. I wanted to do that, but my breasts were so sore I couldn't hold her close. I wanted to tell her I love her, but I couldn't. It took me a week to say "I love you" to her. Of course it is not because I don't love my daughter. I do. More than anything. It is just really hard for me to put all my emotions aside. I'm scarred pretty deep. My wounds are still fresh and trying to heal, and they are easily torn open.

Lots of moms keep telling me you will soon forgot all the troubles you went through. That everything will be worth it. I'll agree with that second part. A. has been worth it all, but I won't forget. Perhaps the details of my pregnancy and postpartum issues will get murky, but I sure won't forget. I guess only time will tell. Until then, I'm going to take it day by day.

Placenta Medicine - The Evidence

2011-09-27T19:04:00.000-07:00

Anyone who reads this blog for more than five minutes will know that I am a HUGE fan of placenta medicine, that is, the maternal consumption of the placenta following childbirth. Sounds gross, but it works - really works - and I have experienced firsthand its amazing benefits (emotional stabilization, energy, afterpain relief). My one regret is that I threw out my placenta from my first birth (hadn't heard of placenta medicine then), and one of THE biggest parts of my hospital transport plans is "Don't let them take away my placenta!" (Hopefully a hospital transport will never be necessary.)

One common question about placenta medicine is - "Where's the evidence? Show me the facts!" For me, I don't need to be convinced because I have experienced how awesome placenta medicine is. But for those of you who want the evidence, here it is! A list thoughtfully put together by an amazing friend of mine, Nikki, and shared here with her permission. Enjoy! Share!

***

Biological Evidence Supporting Placentophagy

Placentophagia: A Biobehavioral Enigma

Postpartum Fatigue, Anemia and PPD

Fatigue as a Predictor of Postpartum Depression

Have We Forgotten the Significance of Postpartum Iron Deficiency?

The Impact of Fatigue on the Development of Postpartum Depression

Iron Content of Intact Placentas and Cords

Maternal Iron Deficiency Anemia Affects Postpartum Emotions and Cognition

Iron supplementation for unexplained fatigue in non-anaemic women: double blind randomised placebo controlled trial

Lactation

Placenta as a Lactagagon

Hormonal Fluctuations

Baby blues - postpartum depression attributed to low levels of corticotropin-releasing hormone after placenta is gone

Hormonal Changes in the Postpartum and Implications for Postpartum Depression

Effects of placentophagy on serum prolactin and progesterone concentrations in rats after parturition or superovulation.

Pain Relief

Enhancement of Opioid-Mediated Analgesia: A Solution to the Enigma of Placentophagia

Placenta ingestion by rats enhances y- and n-opioid antinociception,
but suppresses A-opioid antinociception

Participation of Placental Opioid-Enhancing Factor in Opioid-Modulated Events at Parturition

And there you have it! Enjoy!

More on the Pill

2011-09-24T10:46:00.000-07:00

I came across this article today, and it sums up my stance on birth control pills very nicely (that is, the ethical problems with the pill, which also applies to the IUD):

What About the Use of Birth Control Pills?

Again, it's not really my intention to start up huge abortion wars in the comment section. I am very pro-life and I believe that every human being is unique, precious, and sacred from the moment of conception until natural death - and this blog reflects that belief. Please keep the comments thoughtful and non-combative.

One more fascinating note on the pill - an article this week from Birth Faith dealing with the issue of histocompatibility, and how use of the pill interferes with the process of MHG (major histocompatibility gene) mate selection:

Mate Selection

Never in a hundred years would I have thought of that one!

Good stuff, ladies! Thanks!

Is It Bravery?

2011-09-16T17:51:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, a MOMS club friend asked me if I was planning to have another home waterbirth with our newest little one. When I said yes, she said:

"You are so incredibly brave."

I get that a lot. In fact, that's pretty much standard response when people hear that we're planning a homebirth. Would you other homebirth mamas concur?

But is it bravery?

Nope, it's not - in my case, at least. As a matter of fact, I am the worst kind of coward when it comes to childbirth. Just ask my midwives and doulas, who have had to put up with my squalling during labor. I can't even get though a healthy Braxton-Hicks contraction without wishing fervently for an epidural. I am the world's biggest wimp when it comes to pain.

(As a matter of fact, my own cowardice is one reason that I choose to birth at home. I know that I want unmedicated births, but there is no way that I could refuse the lure of easily-available drugs in a hospital. I just couldn't do it. Mothers of the world who have unmedicated hospital births, I take my hat off to you. I really don't know how you do it. You are made of stiffer stuff than I.)

But the real reason that I birth at home?

I birth at home because I don't want to have to fight - for my birth, for my body, for my baby. Going to the hospital seems (from the common experience, not personal experience) to be more like entering a battle zone and planning for a war than preparing for a gentle and sacred life-transition. I don't want to spend my birthing time fighting for what I want and what I need.

I don't want to have to fight to maintain mobility. Many hospitals still seem to want mothers confined to bed, tethered by monitors and an IV. I don't want to fight to remain untethered, IV-less, upright and mobile.

I don't want to have to fight for my space - for dimmed lights, for non-intrusion into the labor space, for having people be silent and gentle around me (rather than peppering me with questions) so that I can labor undisturbed.

I don't want to have to fight against other hospital policies - against routine vaginal exams, against hospital protocol time limits on labor stages, against routine AROM. I don't want to have to fight for the right to eat and drink during labor. I don't want to have to fight to have my family near me (most hospitals have now banned children under 12), to have a doula, to have limits on who can be with us.

I don't want to have to fight to keep my baby with me, instead of being whisked away for tests, shots, and baths. I don't want to have to fight for delayed cord clamping, for delaying or avoiding newborn procedures, for avoiding formula. I don't want anyone telling me that I can't take my placenta home with me (this is so common in the hospital that it seems to be almost routine).

I don't want to have to fight a continual battle against hospital policies, against caregiver policies, against matters of routine hospital practice that have proven to be bad medicine but are still entrenched in the hospital culture.

I don't want my birth to be a battle.

When I am at home, I am surrounded by family and by a midwife and a doula whom I have come to know intimately. I am monitored constantly, with one-on-one care that is second-to-none in quality.

When I am at home, I won't be given an IV, confined to bed, or tethered to monitors (midwives use intermittent monitoring with a fetoscope or Doppler). I won't have any vaginal exams unless I request them or the midwife feels that they are truly necessary (and asks first). I will be automatically given everything that I need for an undisturbed labor (silence, darkness, constant support). I will be constantly offered drinks and snacks to keep my strength up. Unless there are signs that something is wrong (and midwives here transport when that happens), I can labor for as long as I need to. My body and my birth will be respected and kept sacred.

When I am at home, my baby will be handed to me immediately - even if there is resuscitation needed, it will be done while baby is on my tummy. There is total respect for my decisions regarding newborn procedures (vitamin K, eye antibiotics, newborn screen, etc.), and I don't have to worry about his cord being cut immediately (midwives here just don't do that), poked, jabbed, or taken away routinely.

Basically, I can relax and know that I don't have to guard myself. I can get down to the business of birthing without feeling that I need a birth plan, a doula-as-bodyguard, or any other sort of battle plan. My birth can be a birth, and not a series of boundary wars.

None of this is to say that every mother should birth at home or that every baby should be born at home. (And I know that there are many hospital providers who work at providing quality experiences like that described above for their mothers.) But this is why I birth at home. It's not because I am brave (I am not), but because I want my birth to be safe and sacred - not a battle.

Belated Activism

2011-09-16T08:31:00.000-07:00

Remember how (back in May) I wrote a post urging readers to write to Mercy Gilbert hospital, thanking them for installing their new labor pool? Well, I myself am just getting around to doing that very thing! Here is my letter, and here is where you can send your own note. The best activism is positive activism!

***

Re: New Labor & Delivery Pool

Dear Mercy Gilbert,

I wanted to drop your staff a note to tell you how excited I am that Mercy Gilbert has recently installed a new labor pool for the use of laboring mothers in your maternity ward. That is simply a splendid development which will be such an incredible blessing to the mamas who choose to birth at your location. Water is such an incredible resource for pain relief and mobility during labor, and I am so excited to be able to enthusiastically recommend Mercy Gilbert as a birth place for local mothers. Congratulations, and great work!

I have spent two labors entirely in water (with one ending in a waterbirth), and I don't know how I could have done it without that water. It helped so much! I will forever be a big proponent of laboring in water as an enormous aid to pregnant mothers.

Great work! Thanks again!

Sincerely Yours,
Diana Johnston

Facebook Nightmares, the Sequel - Following Up

2011-09-03T12:41:00.000-07:00

At the beginning of July, I posted on my frustration at the ongoing pregnancy story of a high school acquaintance of mine (now a Facebook friend) who was being put through the worst of what our maternity care system has to offer.

You can read the story at the above link, but a quick recap: This mama was in her third trimester, first pregnancy, healthy mother, no complications, and had been told by her OB that her baby at term would be a huge, enormous, over-ten-pound monster who could not possibly be birthed vaginally, and that she needed to schedule a cesarean at 38 weeks.

* Pause to let anger subside. Breathe. *

I thought you might like to know how this story ended up, so here is the final chapter.

The cesarean was scheduled, but due to delays with the doctor being away, the scheduled date was for 39+0 weeks. However, the mother went into labor naturally, three days before the scheduled cesarean, and the baby was born that day. I do not know if baby arrived via vaginal birth or via cesarean, as the mother did not post.

Oh, and that "huge, enormous, over-ten-pound monster who could not possibly be birthed vaginally"? He was less than an ounce over seven pounds. Going by average weight gain, he would not have even broken eight pounds at forty weeks.

Yay for late-term ultrasound weight estimates.

So that was the end of the story.

And now, I'd like to follow a few rabbit trails, if my readers will kindly indulge me. Some of these will take the form of a frustration-rant, and I am also in a big hurry, so please forgive me if I am repetitive or even completely nonsensical and occasionally hysterical.

Rabbit trail #1:

I was fascinated by the wide variety of responses that I received to my original post concerning this situation. It was all over the board! Go back and read the comments to see what I mean. It ran up and down a spectrum, everything from "It is your duty to write to her and tell her the true facts of what is happening to her," to "This decision is between her and her doctor and it's none of your stinking business, so keep out of it." Quite a difference of opinion there!

Well, I'll tell you. As a personal thing, I have a strict policy of non-interference in other people's births. Even when they make me as upset as this one. Why? Here are the reasons:

(1) Advice can be really annoying. And it's a bad habit to get into (giving unsolicited advice).
(2) Usually, when people are ready to receive advice, they're already actively looking for the information themselves and don't need it.
(3) If a person is not ready to receive information, she will shut down anything that comes in the form of criticism of her beloved doctor. This is just something that women (myself included) do naturally.

So I really do my best to keep my mouth SHUT. (Unless specifically asked for information, and then I try to give gentle and encouraging information, to the best of my ability.)

On this one, I almost succeeded. Not quite, though. During this saga, I kept my mouth shut (besides notes of congratulations) - except for once, when I left one comment - something to the effect of "please be aware that late-term ultrasound is notoriously unreliable and is often inaccurate by up to several pounds." Then I left it alone, hard as it was.

What do you ladies consider your own personal policies in terms of giving advice when mothers are being taken to the cleaner's with bad maternity care?

Rabbit Trail #2:

This is something I haven't written about yet, but I found it vaguely disturbing - the fact that the mother was actually thrilled to be told that she needed a cesarean. During the decision-making process, she was actively enthusiastic about the idea and was very excited when it was finally decided that way.

Why?

Well, I'm guessing that it was for a number of reasons. First of all, cesareans really are more convenient. They're scheduled! Maternity leave, visiting relatives, vacation plans, holidays, whatever - it's all right according to plan with a scheduled cesarean. There's no doubt about that.

I discovered the lure of the scheduled cesarean last year, when a friend (having her third cesarean) asked me to encapsulate her placenta for her. It was around Thanksgiving time and we were planning to go out of town, which might have been hard - except that I knew exactly when this baby was arriving! So no muss, no fuss! It's no wonder that doctors and patients nowadays are falling into this pattern - there's no doubt that it's super-convenient. Admitted!

Secondly, and more elusively. Women today, especially first-time moms, are dead scared of labor, for a couple of reasons. First of all, we all know how much people love to tell pregnant women horror stories of labor/delivery that are filled to the brim with pain/gore/screaming/etc. etc. I think it must be instinctual, because I have to fight the natural instinct to tell horror stories too! But it sure doesn't help a young mother to prepare confidently for birth.

Secondly, most of the young women I know (real life and acquaintances on Facebook) are coming home from the hospital with experiences that would give Jack the Ripper goosebumps. I can only put it in the words of a blogger I read recently - "violent birth." Unnecessary induction, pitocin-induced labors-from-hell, epidurals, things go wrong, baby is crashing, emergency cesarean, side-effects, you name it. The cascade of interventions in all of its worst forms - over and over and over again, told until new moms believe that this is the norm. That this is just how birth IS.

Is it any wonder that a mother would welcome the thought of a neat and tidy scheduled cesarean? No contractions, no labor, no pitocin, no waiting, no fear, no nothing. Just an epidural and then "Here's your baby!" I don't blame them. Or the women who, having been through this nightmare with their first, welcome the thought of scheduled cesareans for the rest of their babes. I probably would too!

Because this is not something new. I have now seen several women told (usually for the most trivial of reasons) that they "need" to have a scheduled cesarean with their first child. And most of them go in with utmost cheerfulness. Some of that may be ignorance, but I think a lot of it is joy that they are going to escape the obstetric violence that now seems to be the norm in hospital births. (Not across-the-board - there are always good caregivers and great hospital births, but they just don't seem to be the norm right now.)

I must say, however, that it is saddening that most young mamas nowadays are not prepared for their hospital births with any sort of proper childbirth classes. I have read repeatedly about the decline of attendance in birth classes - that parents are taking more of a "show up at the hospital and let the doctor make the decisions" approach, and it is very regrettable because it leaves parents utterly vulnerable to bad medicine. Do these mamas know - are they told - that there are real risks associated with cesarean birth, for the mother, the baby, and for future babes? That there are lifelong potential health consequences for cesarean-born babies? That the risks of maternal death and stillbirth rise with each cesarean? Nope, most of them simply think of cesareans as "going out the sun-roof" with a whole lot of convenience and no negative consequences. Childbirth classes help so much with that - they allow mothers to at least make informed decisions knowing both sides to an issue and without being taken advantage of.

(And of course, none of this negates the fact that the cesarean is a wonderful life-saving procedure when used correctly - just not when it becomes a matter of regular and over-used practice.)

Why do you think that mothers welcome the thought of primary cesarean birth? Have you seem the same trend? (Personally, I know that I'd be freaking out and running screaming down the street at the thought of voluntary major abdominal surgery!)

Rabbit Trail #3:

And please forgive the vulgarity of the following discussion:

One thing that I saw during this story that was extremely, extremely frustrating and disheartening - and that was the number of women who wrote lovely comments on the mama's wall such as, "Hurray that you're having a cesarean! Now your vagina will stay all pretty!"

Um, EXCUSE ME? Are you JOKING?

I can't even begin to unpack how much is wrong with those comments (and they weren't few in number, either).

First of all, a practical note. I have had two unmedicated vaginal births, one with a slight tear. I will be quite honest - I don't notice any real difference in the before and after of my own lady parts. Seriously, things do go back to normal. They're meant to. Sure, there are slight differences between a nulliparous woman and one who has had babies, but our bodies were meant to do this. My own set of downstairs parts is just fine, thank you. It's not like one's genitals are hanging in shredded strips just because one has had a baby. Our bodies were made to open for a baby's passage and then return to normal state.

Note: I know that this is not the case for everyone, particularly for women whose births were horribly mismanaged (episiotomies, etc.) or operative (forceps, etc.). So please do not write telling me how much permanent damage birth can do - I know that it does happen. But normal birth that is managed well really has less effect (on a majority of women) than one would think. We were created to birth.

But more importantly - much more importantly - is that important? Does that give us a reason to say things like that? Let's say that what I said above is untrue - that a woman's genitalia forever look like they have been mauled by an automatic cheese grater after having a baby. (Or even that there are slight differences following normal births.)

Even in that case, why would women say that to each other? Why would we choose to hurt each other like that? How can women do that to each other?

"Well, you've had a baby. No matter that you've just been blessed to participate in the holy and eternal act of bringing a new and precious life into this world. What really matters is that your vagina is no longer pretty. Too bad for you."

Why? Because now her husband won't find her attractive any more and will leave? Because her self-worth is wrapped up in the appearance of her genitalia? Because all that matters in life is dying with a pretty body instead of one that was used for the glory of God to do great and amazing things?

And would people say that about other things in life?

"Thank goodness you didn't have children. Think of all the hours of television you would have had to miss while you took care of them! And think of the weight you might have gained! Now your tummy will stay all pretty."

"Thank goodness you didn't breastfeed and nourish a child at your breasts. Now your breasts will stay all pretty!" (Well, unfortunately, people do say this one.)

"Thank goodness you didn't take up mountain climbing! You might have gotten icky blisters! Now your toes will stay all pretty."

My point being, of course, that there is more to life than maintaining a picture-perfect body. How much more glorious to use one's body in the service of one's family and society (and in doing other great and amazing things!) than to come to the end of life and say, "I did nothing, but my body is pretty."

Most of all, it is the unkindness that strikes one, though I know it is unintentional. "You had a baby, and now your vagina will be ugly. Poor you."

We women can be kinder to ourselves.

Okay, that's all the rant for now! I'd love to have everyone chime in - kind and civil comments only, please! And again, please forgive me - I'm writing in a rush (time limits!), so this probably wasn't the most polished entry.

VBAC or Bust

2011-09-02T11:17:00.000-07:00

A high school acquaintance of mine recently wrote to me for advice on achieving a VBAC birth after a primary cesarean (that's what happens when one posts a continuous stream of birth articles on Facebook!), so I thought I'd post what I wrote to her!

And.... it looks today is this mama's birthing day, so I'm praying for her and sending VBAC vibes her way!

Unfortunately, my friend hasn't taken any birth classes or hired a doula, so her chances aren't that high in today's hospital environment. But she does have at least a marginally supportive care provider, so we will hope for the best. Regardless of birth outcome, we are looking forward to meeting her new bub! From "Gone With the Wind" - "The happiest days are when the babies come!"

So here's what I wrote..... what would you have added?

***

Hi, M!!

Congrats on your VBAC plans! Have a wonderful time, and don't stress if it doesn't work out. You have done an awesome job in preparing and planning.

My universal recommendation for all mamas, especially hospital birthers, is to consider a doula. There are lots of things that a person can do during labor, but usually one isn't in the state of mind to think of them and husbands usually don't. A doula can think of those things and help your hubbie to support you as well. If you're interested, I know you could easily find one even at this point.

Other things that come to mind randomly:

- Stay home as long as possible. You will be more comfortable and less confined.

- Stay hydrated. Eat when you want to, and drink at least hourly. Since some hospitals (or nurses) are still stinkers about this, make sure to take your own food. Some friends of mine recommend those portable yogurt tubes and/or honey sticks. And whoever is taking care of you (hubbie or doula) needs to offer you a drink constantly - usually juice or Gatorade with a straw, just offered maybe every 20 minutes.

- Stay mobile and upright as long as possible.

- Laboring in water (shower or tub) is SO incredibly helpful, both for comfort and mobility. I have spent both of my active labors entirely in water.

- Birthing positions are optimally something that you could discuss with your doc pre-birth. Most docs automatically do lithotomy with the bed broken down, but there are lots of other positions (hands and knees, for example) - though that depends on whether or not you decide on an epidural. Oftentimes your body will tell you very clearly what position you need to be in. During my labors, my body made it EXTREMELY clear that I should kneel leaning forward with my head resting on my arms on the side of the tub. Whenever I moved away, I was unbelievably uncomfortable and returned immediately. So a lot of it isn't planning ahead, but just following your body's lead.

You are going to be awesome, regardless of if this birth is VBAC or CBAC!!! Congrats in advance, and we can't wait to see pictures!! :)

Breastfeeding Issues - One Mom's Experiences

2011-08-31T08:31:00.000-07:00

My friend Jennifer has spent some considerable time blogging about her breastfeeding struggles with her firstborn, now 7 months old, and I thought that you all might enjoy reading her writings! Take a good look especially at the second entry, as it is full of awesome advice for struggling mamas:

Adventures in Nursing

Adventures in Nursing II (Addressing Improving Low Milk Supply Issues with Breastfeeding))

Enjoy!

Finally, Someone Saying What I Want to Hear: Kegels

2011-08-29T08:16:00.000-07:00

Have I ever mentioned how thoroughly and deeply I dislike kegels?

If not, here you have it: I loathe kegels. Utterly loathe-dislike-despise them. To me, the feeling of doing kegels is something akin to the sound of nails on a chalkboard. Except it's much worse.

The only time I manage to force myself to do kegels is when I am pregnant and working toward a deadling (childbirth!), and then I usually do them with my legs crossed as hard as I can so that I can't feel them. And then I add in a loudly sung Austrian drinking song to further distract my mind from them.

So much for "the exercise that you can do and no one will know you're doing them!" (I think the Austrian drinking song is what gives it away.)

Well, I am happy to report - kegeling is no more for me! Thank you to the author of this article!

Why You Should Stop Doing Kegels

And now I'm off to squat - infinitely preferable in any amount to those awful kegels!

Is anyone else out there with me, or am I the only wimp who can't stand those things?

Later note: I realized, after writing this post, that while I was overjoyed to see this article, most birth professionals still do recommend kegels. If you like kegels, believe them to be beneficial, or have received benefit from doing them, I certainly do not want to discourage you from doing them! Kegel away. This post really just was a reflection of my personal joy at finding a reason not to do something that I thoroughly dislike, not a lecture to the world to stop doing kegels. Please, do your research and make the decision that you are comfortable with.

Lovely Homebirth Story!

2011-08-29T08:06:00.000-07:00

A wonderful homebirth story from a blog that I frequent (read it! it's awesome!):

Eden's Homebirth Story

Just loved the part about finding out baby's gender.... and two hours later discovering that the gender had been misidentified! Love it!

Congratulations to this family and their new sweet little one!

Expectations - My Version!

2011-08-27T17:31:00.000-07:00

Birth Faith posted a wonderful article earlier this week on "Expectations" - what components of birth, breastfeeding and parenting were easier or harder than she expected. I thought I'd write my own version! You will notice that some of her "easier than I expected" are going to be in my "harder than expected" and vice versa - so much for consensus!

Harder than I ever expected:

- Establishing breastfeeding - YIKES! With both of my babies, this was incredibly difficult and required much time, tears, effort, and a supportive midwife and pediatrician. I now know why breastfeeding rates are so abysmally low in the U.S. - not only can breastfeeding easily be sabotaged, but it really needs the help of a small community to get started and be successful.

- Afterpains - They say these don't occur with your first baby. NOT SO. Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch. Enough said.

- Night feedings - Night feedings are pure torture. As a friend of mine said, "I hate it when late afternoon comes because I know that another horrible night is now before me." Try being utterly exhausted and then spending almost all of the night being up nursing a baby and then trying to put said baby back to bed. I thank God for our wonderful late pediatrician, who said "Take the baby to bed with you!" so that I only had to go through two months of those hideous nights before we discovered the joys of co-sleeping.

- Marriage - Much harder than I expected! Negative behaviors (nagging, negativity) are my default even when I recognize them as wrong - so incredibly frustrating, and a constant challenge for me.

- Parenting - If one thing has rocked my world, it has been parenting. I had no idea how difficult it would be (once they hit the toddler stage - infant stage was pretty easy), how it would challenge me to the core of my very being. I am still learning - and I think always will be - and am so grateful for godly parents who have tread the path before me (and whose advice I covet and treasure) and for the great books out there which have helped so much.

- Pregnancy - Hello, hyperemesis gravidarum!! So much for floating through a glowing pregnancy. :)

- Birth - This was really a lot harder than I expected, but it was also an amazing experience that transformed me from the inside out. Completely worth it (though I don't usually think that while I'm doing it).

- Adjusting to life with a first baby - Getting used to not having a true schedule, not having any true alone time - very difficult. Second baby was a breeze comparatively (also helped that he is an easy baby!). It will be interesting to see how #3 hits!

Easier than I ever expected:

- Healing after birth - Aside from those blasted afterpains (ouch! ouch! ouch!), it wasn't bad at all, most likely thanks to the wonderful treatment of our midwives (lots of olive oil, gentle pushing phase, no episiotomy, etc.).

- Waiting through the last weeks of pregnancy - Most women seem to be impatient to have pregnancy be over. I have never felt this way! I love being pregnant, and since the nausea is usually gone or manageable by this time, I'm usually loving being pregnant and am sorry when labor starts.

- Sleep sharing - It rocks. Love it and couldn't live without it.

- Adjusting to a second baby - After the shock to my system from #1, getting used to a #2 just wasn't that hard. Some moms have this reversed, though! A friend of mine had a super-easy baby for #1 and a challenging baby for #2, and it was that #2 who rocked her world.

***

Have I missed anything in there that I should have listed? Let me know and I'll add it in! What would you put on your lists?

The Perfect Transport

2011-08-26T08:40:00.000-07:00

I picked this birth story up from the Hypnobabies Facebook page, and I just loved it. Here are both parts:

The Birth of Brynn, Part I

The Birth of Brynn, Part II

I read a lot of great birth stories, but I loved this one especially - because this is what a homebirth transport should look like. Cheerful reception by hospital staff, wonderful treatment from doctor and nurses, seamless transport of care from home/birth center to hospital - it was wonderful from start to finish.

So often, homebirth transport stories are horror stories. Sullen or hostile reception at the hospital, doctors and nurses who scold, threaten, or actively punish mothers for daring to try to birth at home, midwives who are ignored or ridiculed by staff. So sad, and so unnecessary.

The midwife model of care is meant to fit seamlessly into a maternity system which has open doors of communication (and friendly working relationships) between OBs and midwives, between hospital and home. It doesn't need to be "us vs. them" - doctors and midwives working together in a collaborative model of care is so much more preferable.

So often in the birth community, we become polarized warring camps. Each side tells horror stories about the other, each side rallies the forces against the other side - it's really too bad. The end goal (and the goal which I try to promote on this blog) is friendly and professional collaboration between OBs and midwives, not a fight to the death with winner take all. That's why I sometimes have doubts about websites like "My OB said WHAT?!?!" which seem purposely to promote strife and hatred rather than working constructively toward any positive end-goal.

And so, after all of that, I loved this birth story. This is what transport can and should be, this is how doctors and midwives can and should work as a seamless team to transport mothers between birthing locations, and I would love to see more stories out there like this one.

Thoughts, anyone?

Adding Two More....

2011-08-06T19:06:00.001-07:00

To my list of Goals & Wishes for Pregnancy & Birth! I'll copy these into the original doc, too.

Short Second Stage

Most women love the pushing phase during a birth. They feel that they can get involved and be an active participant rather than a bystander (of sorts). I'm the opposite! I really don't like pushing. First time it was an hour or two, second time was..... oh, 20-30 minutes, not sure. But I would LOVE to have one of those one-or-two push births - that would be lovely!

Again, any ladies out there who have not experienced a birth yet, take heart - as I've said - most women really enjoy the pushing phase.

A Butter Birth!

A butter birth is a phrase used by midwives to describe a birth that is quick, easy, and where the baby slips out easily "like butter." I would love one of these! Can I put my order in now, please?

I'm sure I'll have more to add later!

Breastfeeding Story #2 - Tongue-Tie, Bottle Addiction & Other Fun Stuff!

2011-08-06T14:20:00.000-07:00

In honor of World Breastfeeding Week, here is the story of our battle-to-breastfeeding with our youngest (or rather, now middle!) child. I started writing this story when he was eight months old and am finishing it when he is now 23 months old (procrastination, anyone?), so you will understand any discrepancies in times mentioned.

***

Here goes! The trials and triumphs of breastfeeding with our youngest, now age 8 months (and who is sitting on my lap making succulent slurping noises sucking on his fingers). And thankfully, I wrote all my dates down, so it will at least be somewhat accurate!

September 1st - Baby arrived! My labor time from water breaking (with immediate onset of labor contractions) to birth was 7 hours 11 minutes, a classic and short second-baby labor.

We started out with a few issues. Firstly, baby was a slow starter. His heart rate plummeted during second stage, necessitating a hurried pushing phase, and he needed quite a bit of stimulation and suctioning to get him going. He had a rough couple of first days, and scared us to death his second night, when he started having coughing/choking fits that made us afraid he was going to asphyxiate. Somewhere around midnight or two in the morning, we were alarmed enough to call both our midwife and our pediatrician, and at one point (when he turned himself black before starting to breathe again), DH nearly packed us into the car to drive to emergency. Thankfully, soon after this my milk came in, which for some reason cleared up most of baby's problems - his choking episodes stopped, his skin cleared up, and he was a lot happier. So were we!

But then our real problems started! Although I had committed to a two-week lying in (or babymoon) in order to rest and get breastfeeding established, nursing did not go well. Baby would not stay latched on or nurse well, and our nursing quickly stretched out into frustrating hour-long sessions. Furthermore, his weight at his pediatrician's visits was not looking well either. When we saw Dr. M on day nine, he was concerned about baby's weight and told us to focus on good breastfeeding. When we came in for a weight check two days later, baby's weight had not only not improved, but had dropped further.

And this is where good medical care steps in and saves the day. Most pediatricians would have said quite firmly, "It's time to head to the store and buy him some formula. Now." Our wonderful pediatrician, on the other hand, said "It's time to head to the breastfeeding store and rent a breast pump. Now." And with that, he single-handedly saved our breastfeeding relationship. Ladies, care providers are so important! They can make or break a situation - whether it's a birth or a breastfeeding relationship or anything else. Be so, so careful whom you choose to shepherd you through life transitions and medical issues.

When we left the pediatrician's office, though, I was in a state of shock. I had just recently concluded a 33-month breastfeeding relationship with our eldest, and I thought that I knew the ropes. This couldn't be happening to us!

By the time that we had driven halfway to the breastfeeding store, I had talked myself into thinking that I didn't really need the breast pump. Instead, I convinced my husband to rent a baby scale, by which method we could keep an eye on baby's milk intake, and thus ensure that he was getting enough.

That was Friday. Thereafter followed one of the most stressful weekends of my life.

By his weight, baby should have been taking in about 2 1/2 ounces of breast milk at each feeding. With the scale, I soon found that our little dude was falling horribly short of this - most of the time he was taking in an ounce at most - sometimes half an ounce, sometimes nothing. And that would be after more than an hour of trying, with multiple breaks for weighing. It was utterly exhausting, horribly frustrating, extremely frightening, and in the end, futile.

By Monday, when our midwife visited to check on us, I was near tears and ready to cave. When she left, we followed her out to the driveway and drove directly to the breastfeeding store, where we rented a breast pump and bought all the necessary paraphernalia (bottles, breastmilk bags, etc.). We headed home and I did my first ever pumping session. Immediately after pumping, we poured the milk into a bottle and fed baby - he took a large amount of milk and was extremely happy about it. The relief was exquisite. And from then on, he ate well from the bottle and began to fill out properly and gain weight again.

After that, my life revolved around pumping! Prepare to pump, pump for 20 minutes, process milk (store, freeze, etc.), attempt to breastfeed baby, feed bottle to baby - and repeat every two hours, all while trying to look after the house and an extremely active three-year-old. Oh, and I should mention that at this time my husband also sustained a serious back injury when slipping in our flooded kitchen - so I was doing single parent duty as well!

Not fun.

A couple of notes:

I was supposed to pump around the clock, but sheer exhaustion kicked in and I was unable to do so. My willpower at 2:00 a.m. was non-existent. I was told that my supply would drop as a result and would eventually dry up, which freaked me out, but as a matter of fact it didn't - I was in oversupply and was able to freeze a full 12 ounces of extra milk a day (plus that which had to be thrown out when it didn't get used).

Additionally, I did a big no-no - I co-slept and bottle-fed at the same time. Apparently this is hideously dangerous, because a bottle left propped in a baby's mouth while the mother sleeps can wick milk out into the baby's mouth and drown it. I didn't know this, and I didn't realize that until there was a bottle-prop drowning case a year or so later, and I read up on it. I felt very blessed! Of course, I had noticed that the bottle would slip out of baby's mouth and wick all over the sheets, leaving a huge mess, but I didn't make the connection. All you mamas out there - now you know.

Continuing on:

Breastfeeding continued to be an utterly frustrating flop. I tried, but it just was not working. I began to talk on the phone with the breastfeeding store's IBCLC lactation consultant, and she mentioned that it would not be catastrophic if I gave up breastfeeding for the time being. As long as baby was being fed and my supply was kept up through pumping, there was always the chance to reintroduce breastfeeding in the future.

And so, while it was hard to do, I gave up attempting to breastfeed, and it was truly a big relief. With pumping, bottle-feeding, trying to breastfeed, and processing milk, I was spending almost all of my daylight hours on feeding time - it was more than I could handle. So for the moment, we were just pumping and bottle feeding.

I made an appointment to see the breastfeeding store's lactation counselor, and when we went in, she immediately diagnosed tongue-tie and advised getting it clipped. Finally, a diagnosis!

So I headed back to our pediatrician - only to find out that he didn't do tongue-tie clipping. Being extremely non-interventionist (which normally was wonderful), he preferred to leave things to nature and give an older kid exercises to do if he still had a tight frenulum when older. But since we needed something to be done now, we got a recommendation for another pediatrician who did tongue tie clipping (Dr. A in Phoenix), and we went to see him.

We had baby's tongue-tie correction done when he was five or six weeks old. The pediatrician told us that it was rather late to have had it done, and afterwards we found this to be true. Breastfeeding attempts after the procedure quickly showed that while baby could nurse, he had no intention of doing so! He was good and bottle-addicted. We were again at an impasse.

At this point, we received advice from two different quarters that was directly conflicting:

Advisor #1, the lactation consultant - We went and saw the lactation consultant. Baby refused to nurse even with her help. The advice we received from her was to spend a lot of skin-to-skin time with baby, and never to let him get upset at the breast (to avoid negative breastfeeding associations) - coax him into breastfeeding.

Sounded nice, but (1) I had no success with it, (2) with the way life was going, I had almost NO time to sit around doing skin-to-skin time. It just wasn't possible.

(I should also mention that she gave me breast shields to try. No dice.)

Advisor #2, our pediatrician - Later the same week, we saw our pediatrician, and he told us that our only hope was to make baby get upset at the breast - i.e. to withhold the bottle and let hunger do the job.

Talk about conflicting opinions!

Well, it sounded a bit nerve-wracking, but since method #1 had turned out to be a total dud, we decided to give method #2 a go. The following Saturday, November 7th (baby was about 9 weeks old), I cleared my calendar, prepared to stay in bed all day with baby, and gave him his last bottle at 8:00 a.m.

Then we waited.

Baby would wake up, fuss, I would offer the breast, he would refuse, and go back to sleep. Repeat and rinse.

This continued for seven hours, until 3:00 p.m., when he finally caved. Beautifully and magnificently. Not only did he breastfeed, but he had an enormous feeding and never refused the breast again.

And he has not had even one bottle since then (in almost two years). Score one for the pediatrician!

The only unpleasant side-effect was engorgement, the end-result of being in over-production and having to slow down to baby's needs. I had never experienced engorgement before (or nothing like this!), so that was a surprising and unpleasant experience. I pumped once or twice for relief, but thankfully it only lasted a few days. Good thing, because it's no fun having red-hot watermelons taped to one's chest.

I learned a lot of lessons through this experience. First of all, I learned - again! - how difficult breastfeeding initiation can be, and how necessary and essential it is to be surrounded by breastfeeding supportive caregivers. With almost any other caregivers, this story would have ended in a formula-fed baby. Please, please, please choose your caregivers wisely.

Before anyone shoots me an indignant email: Yes, I know there are some situations in which breastfeeding is indeed physically impossible or where mothers do indeed have to supplement (I have had several friends in this situation), and I'm not trying to deny that or to put down mothers who cannot breastfeed. But this was not one of those situations, and good care got us over the hurdles rather than sabotaging our best efforts unnecessarily.

Secondly, with as much as I had learned in 33 months of breastfeeding our eldest, there were still unplumbed depths to breastfeeding that remained completely unknown to me. And there are still many breastfeeding difficulties that I have not yet encountered! Never underestimate your opponent.

Lastly, touchy-feely methods aren't always best. Sure, it sounded great to be all mammal-ish and snuggly with baby, but it wasn't getting us one bit closer to breastfeeding. The cut-and-dried method of our ever-realistic pediatrician did in seven hours what the touchy-feely method probably would never have accomplished. (And he had accomplished similar success using a similarly cut-and-dried method with our eldest son, for different problems.) I have found this to be true in much of parenting. Good lesson.

Oh, and as a side note, I also learned personally the effectiveness of the "dead baby card." Traditionally, the dead baby card is when an OB (or nurse or midwife or whomever) says something along the lines of "No, you don't have to consent to [procedure X], but if you don't your baby will die!" It's used quite commonly, unfortunately and it's almost 100% effective in coercing compliance. Well, I experienced this! And not even in a bad way. When I was talking to the IBCLC, she mentioned offhand something along the lines of "well, you just need to make sure that the baby is being fed, because if you don't, there won't be any baby to feed." She wasn't even being malicious! But being under the immense amount of stress that I was (not to mention sleep deprivation and being newly postpartum), that almost put me into hysterics. It's no wonder that the technique is so effective.

So that's our story! Hopefully it can help someone out there. I am hoping beyond hope that our 3rd baby will be an easy nurser, because I have had quite enough of breastfeeding crises! I'll report back on that later.

Happy World Breastfeeding Week!

Goals & Wishes for Pregnancy & Birth

2011-07-31T16:20:00.001-07:00

Cross-posted from my other blog!

Originally I titled this "goals" only, but then realized that a lot of items on this list are not even up to me! So here is a random list that I've jotted down of things that I'd like for this pregnancy and birth.

To feel better soon

I would really like to enjoy this pregnancy, or a majority of it.... So I would love it if the NVP could clear up quickly! Of course, though, I know that I have been blessed beyond measure - NVP but no HG. I'll settle for that if need be. :)

To gain less baby weight

Last time I gained a ton of weight, and almost half of it stayed around after baby and was impossible to get rid of (until I did this recent low carb thing). This time, while not being unhealthy, I want to keep my weight gain in a more reasonable range.

Labor with intact membranes, and/or birth en caul

Rumor has it that laboring with intact membranes is much more comfortable, so I'd like to try it! Both of my labors have begun with SROM (spontaneous rupture of membranes), which is handy for timing labor (I know the length of my labors down to the minute) but less comfortable.

It is said that increased vitamin K can help strengthen membranes, so when I'm feeling better, I'm going to try to get back to my green smoothies, which are really high in vitamin K.

I would also love-love-LOVE a birth en caul, that is, where the baby is born with intact membranes around it. In most traditional cultures there are special traditions and beliefs and blessings surrounding births en caul, and I would love to experience one of those births myself.

You can see some birth en caul pictures here.

I used to think that births en caul were almost impossibly rare, but it turns out that that is not so! They are almost extinct in the hospital environment simply because most doctors insist on rupturing membranes if they have not already released naturally, thus eliminating the possibility of a caul. But the midwives whom I know on Facebook regularly report caul births, so they're not nearly as rare as I once thought (though they are still unusual).

Make a birth cake

It is common practice for midwives to recommend that mamas - especially first-time mamas - spend their time in early labor making a birthday cake for the baby. It calms nervous energy and gives them something to do, and then the entire birth team can enjoy the cake and celebrate after the birth. Fun!!

I have intended to make a birth cake with both of my births, and failed with each! Both times, labor has grabbed my attention and said "It's time to labor, forget about anything else!" So no birth cake. I'd like to try again.... I'm thinking of mixing up dry ingredients ahead of time so that there wouldn't be too much work to do.

Maybe another waterbirth

I have had one land birth and one water birth. For labor, water is wonderful-wonderful-WONDERFUL and I will never voluntarily do active labor in any other way!!! For second stage pushing, though, I am okay with land or water. But waterbirths are fun! So it might be fun to have another, even though I'm okay with either one.

Handle labor better, more enjoyably

I guess I'd better just admit it. Though I've had two unmedicated births (and am extremely happy about that!), when it comes to labor, I am just.... bad at it. I've never really gotten the hang of it. All of that "relax, release, deepen" stuff? Well, I'm afraid that my instinctual (and unavoidable) response has been more along the lines of "tighten, tense, panic". I'll never be one of those birthing goddesses that one sees!

But I would like to be able to labor more comfortably. I have wondered if I would benefit from a Brio/Bradley or Hypnobabies course (we took Hypnobirthing with our first, and it did not help). And really, I would love to take one of those classes anyway - I just don't know if I want to (or can!) spend the money. Class costs plus babysitting add up to a considerable price tag! So we'll have to think. I should probably also ask my midwife.

Be able to manage after-pains so as to be able to enjoy first postpartum hour with baby

With both babies, I have had problems with severe afterpains - so severe that I have had to hand the baby off to someone else and just focus on getting through them. Both times I have missed out on bonding/holding time and on the breastfeeding window - that is, the first hour post-birth when baby is awake and alert. After that, they get quite sleepy and initiating breastfeeding is much harder.

With my last birth, I arranged to take four Advil as soon as the baby was born in order to get a head start on the afterpains. That did absolutely nothing for them! Too bad. However, the placenta smoothie that I had a bit later had an amazing effect on afterpains, and with the aid of more placenta medicine my second experience with afterpains, though yucky, was much better than my first. So I already have it written into my birth plan to do a placenta smoothie as soon as is humanly possible, and we'll see what that can do.

If anyone out there is still dry-heaving at the thought of placenta medicine, let me just say - try it before you condemn it, because gosh golly, it WORKS. Amazingly. For postpartum bleeding, for preventing baby blues, for stabilizing emotions, for regaining energy, for afterpains - it truly works. I can't wait to try it again. (And most placenta medicine is encapsulated - that is, the placenta is dried and put into gel caps, so the gross factor is really reduced.)

Have a better start to breastfeeding

I'm afraid that both of our babies have had absolutely disastrous starts to breastfeeding. I thought it was bad with our first.... until we had our second. Yowzer. I would really like to have a baby who takes easily to the breast and does not give us nightmares with breastfeeding!

On that note, I would like to mention the importance of being surrounded by breast-feeding supportive caregivers! I do not think either of our babies would have survived with an intact breastfeeding relationship had we not been covered on all sides by women (midwives, doulas) cheering us on, plus a breastfeeding supportive pediatrician. I had no idea when I started out that breastfeeding could be such a challenge, or that it could require so much support.

***
Added later:

To my list of Goals & Wishes for Pregnancy & Birth! I'll copy these into the original doc, too.

Short Second Stage

Most women love the pushing phase during a birth. They feel that they can get involved and be an active participant rather than a bystander (of sorts). I'm the opposite! I really don't like pushing. First time it was an hour or two, second time was..... oh, 20-30 minutes, not sure. But I would LOVE to have one of those one-or-two push births - that would be lovely!

Again, any ladies out there who have not experienced a birth yet, take heart - as I've said - most women really enjoy the pushing phase.

A Butter Birth!

A butter birth is a phrase used by midwives to describe a birth that is quick, easy, and where the baby slips out easily "like butter." I would love one of these! Can I put my order in now, please?

***

Well, that's about it! I'm sure I'll add to this list at a later date. What are some goals and/or wishes that you have for your future births?

Farewell to Anonymity

2011-07-26T20:03:00.000-07:00

Just a quick note, dear readers! As of 30 seconds ago, I have had to disable anonymous comments. I apologize to those of you who can no longer leave comments (you can if you get a Google account), but it has become necessary.

Reason #1:

I value civil discourse above all else in comment discussions. That is, polite and considerate conversation that never turns into flame wars or insult marathons. On the whole, my readership is absolutely excellent about respecting my wishes for civil discourse. However, on the rare occasions that I do get rude, hurtful, combative, obscene or insulting comments, they are always-always-always from "Anonymous" commenters. Not cool. Thankfully this doesn't happen too often.

Reason #2:

I'm guessing that my blog has somehow been discovered by the spamming world, because I am now being flooded with ridiculous spam comments - the word recognition protection doesn't seem to have any deterring effect on them. This hasn't happened too often before, but now it's every day.

So from now on, farewell to anonymity!! And thank you to all of you dear readers who write in such sweet, positive and constructive email discussions - I love talking with all of you.

Again, you can follow my pregnancy journey on my other blog. When I feel somewhat better than dirt (low-quality dirt, at that), I will start cross-posting entries, as well as bringing this blog back into active mode.

In the meantime, love to all!!

Breaking Radio Silence

2011-07-07T18:06:00.000-07:00

Any regular readers will notice that this blog lately has been.... well, deader than dead. And there's a reason for that, namely that I have been in a similar state!

Namely, we are expecting!

Which means that I am sick as a dog, as usual. I am currently stable and relatively okay - and not in active hyperemesis - on high doses of Unisom and Zofran, and am just waiting for time to pass so that I can regain functionality and normal life. I'm guessing that another couple of months will do a lot for getting me back in the swing of things, but for now it's just a waiting game.

We are very excited about this little one, and for now, my pregnancy notes are being kept on my other blog, The Whining Puker (my hyperemesis blog, see sidebar for link). When I'm feeling better, I will start to cross-post entries (and get this blog active again!). In the meantime, thank you for your understanding!

Love to all! I'll be back.

Neat New Doula Blog

2011-07-07T18:00:00.000-07:00

I ran across this new blog the other day and was really impressed:

Two Doulas on a Mission

It is co-authored by two of our local birth doulas, and I'm looking forward to reading more. I especially loved that all of their initial entries (this is a young blog) center around placenta medicine - one of my personal birth passions!! I especially loved their article on Placenta Preparation, in which they give detailed instructions on the preparation of placenta smoothies, placenta capsules, and placenta tincture (the last of which I have never tried).

Looking forward to following this blog! Thanks, ladies!

Facebook Nightmares

2011-07-01T19:02:00.000-07:00

Being a woman in the midst of her childbearing years, I am getting to follow a lot of friends and acquaintances through pregnancy via Facebook.

Usually, it's fun. Unfortunately, there are a lot of face-palm moments. Or head-to-keyboard-repeatedly moments. Can I get an amen on that?

Here is one that I saw recently (I'm paraphrasing from memory, this is not a direct quote):

"We just had our 34 week ultrasound, and our baby is really, really big! So our doctor is going to be doing a scheduled c-section at 38 weeks to avoid having a huge ten pound baby."

I could spend the rest of the night pointing out the medical and ethical violations of a situation like that. So very wrong on so many levels.

Let's try just a few:

- Primip with a nice, scarred uterus. For no reason.
- A baby who is denied 2-4 weeks body and brain development time. For no reason.
- A baby who is denied the benefits of birth, such as (1) respiratory benefits, (2) birth hormones, (3) vaginal flora colonization. And who will face the known statistically higher levels of health problems that cesarean babies face. For no reason.
- The fact that late-term ultrasounds are routinely inaccurate by up to two pounds.
- Not even bothering with an induction? Just skip the induction and go right to early section? Riiiggghhhht.

WHY? WHY? WHY?

I think I'll just continue banging my head against the keyboard. It does just as much good as anything.

Women, please do your reading. And take childbirth classes. And be informed. So that you are not at the mercy of medical advice like this which goes against all known medical evidence and every ethical constraint in the book. Please.

Save the Midwife

2011-06-27T19:28:00.000-07:00

Please visit the link below to learn all about the situation and challenges facing one of Arizona's awesome midwives.... there are ways that we can help and show support!

Save the Midwife

Also, hop on over to Facebook and check out the new group Make VBAC Legal!, which is dedicated to beginning the journey toward legally-CPM-attended home VBAC in the state of Arizona. Good things afoot there!

Thoughts on the Pill

2011-05-30T17:32:00.000-07:00

Normally, I try to avoid writing articles that come across as "reasons why you should do such-and-such" or "reasons why you should not do such-and-such." I really don't like sounding preachy or prescriptive! So I've hesitated on writing anything on birth control pills, but at the same time have always wanted to put it out there for consideration. And so, with that in mind, please know that I am not writing "why YOU should not take birth control pills" - therefore, taking offense is not indicated. I am simply going to write down the reasons why I have chosen not to use birth control pills. Feel free to ask questions or leave comments (kind ones only, please!) on your thoughts.

I used birth control pills for about three years, starting about a year before I got married. And it happened in this way:

One day I had invited my then-fiance and his sister to come over to my house after church. They came over, but I never actually saw them, because on the way there I got hit with one of my not-uncommon waves of severe menstrual cramps, which had me lying on the upstairs bathroom floor curled in a fetal position for several hours. It was extremely embarrassing, to say the least! My fiance and future sister-in-law left after a while, before I could even say hello, but she called me up the next day and said "Girl, you need to get yourself on birth control pills!" And so I did! End of story. My menstrual cramps got a lot better, and I loved having predictable periods.

I didn't go off of the pill until we had been married for two years and wanted to start a family. After our baby (who was conceived less than two months after going off of the pill) was born, I asked our midwife if she could prescribe birth control pills for me. That's when my path started changing! First of all, she told me that as a CPM she did not have prescription privileges to prescribe birth control, and secondly, she asked me why I would want to go on birth control pills. I was rather puzzled, as I had considered birth control pills as a normal way of life, rather than anything optional or objectionable. However, I started to do some research. As a result, I have never gone back on the pill.

And so, without further ado....

Reasons Why I No Longer Use "The Pill"

(1) Life Ethics - This is a sticky one! But most of the research I found (try this article, straight from ACOG) indicates that the birth control pill acts in three ways to prevent babies: (1) by altering the composition of cervical fluid to make it inhospitable to sperm, (2) by preventing most ovulation, and (3) in case of break-through ovulation - i.e. a woman ovulates despite the efforts of the pill - by altering the lining of the uterus to make it impossible for a fertilized egg to implant, i.e. acting as an early-term abortion. For those of us, Christians and otherwise, who consider human life to be precious and sacred from the point of conception, this means that taking the pill is risking aborting our little ones. * Note: I am not attempting to start an abortion debate at this time on this blog, so if you disagree, please know that I already know that you disagree - let's leave it there!

(2) Economic - Having millions upon millions of dollars from birth control pills pouring into the pockets of pharmaceutical companies is not something that thrills me. The more I learn about pharmaceutical companies, the less and less I respect them and their motives. While I'm very grateful for life-saving drugs, I'm not that happy about continuing to fund them and some of their shadier activities through my continual participation.

(3) Environmental - Did you know that birth control pills are having a negative effect on the environment? That was a big surprise to me! But here's how it works: The synthetic hormones that are consumed when a woman takes birth control pills are continuously spilled out into her urine - and the hormone-contaminated urine of millions of women on the pill is now affecting wildlife. Here's a quote from an article on the environmental impact of the pill:

"In 2003, a group of scientists in Washington state made headlines when they discovered that traces of synthetic estrogen in the state’s rivers had reduced the fertility of male fish. Hormonal birth control pills and patches were blamed. Two years later, a team of scientists funded by the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency found trout with both female and male characteristics. The culprit, again, was synthetic estrogen."

Not horribly surprising once one thinks about it, but definitely disturbing.

(And a separate environmental issue would be the millions of pounds of waste that are dumped into landfills each year from birth control packaging and paperwork, besides all of the manufacturing waste that goes into their production.)

(4) Intimate Issues - *Ahem!* I'm blushing to write this, but I was surprised at how strongly my libido came back once I dropped off the pill. Being that I had gone on the pill before I was married, I hadn't noticed anything amiss until I got off the pill and noticed my interest in intimacy skyrocket!* Blush *

(5) How I Felt - This one is harder to describe, but when I went off the pill, I simply felt better. The way I described it at the time was that it felt like my body "relaxed" when I went off of the pill. It was a very definite feeling that surprised me, as again, I hadn't noticed anything change when I went on the pill (that I remember). But I definitely felt better when not taking the pill.

(6) Ideological - This is a vague one, so don't quote me. I simply don't like the ideology behind birth control pills - the subtle implication that a normal, healthy female's body is "broken" and must be "fixed" by drugs. That's bothered me for a long time, though I would be hard-put to explain it in detail.

(7) Ideological, part II - This one is even more vague, so definitely don't quote me! Again, I don't like the subtle implication that children are a curse that can be avoided by taking drugs. This is a complaint that can be - in various forms - levied against any form of birth control, so again, don't quote me. And my views on this subject are still under development. But I promised to write down everything!

(8) Health - There are definitely health risks to taking the pill (such as increased risk of conditions like stroke, heart disease, cancer, infertility, etc.) When I went on the pill, none of these was mentioned to me. At all. Just "okay, you want birth control, fine, here's your prescription."

Here in Arizona, our state treasurer Dean Martin's wife and baby died two years ago due to a "ruptured benign tumor in her liver known as an adenoma." When I asked Nursing Birth about this condition, she replied:

"The reason the ruptured ademoma would effect the term infant, is from blood loss. Maternal blood volume increases 45-50% in pregnancy, so a “benign” condition in a non-pregnant woman, can become a problem in a pregnant woman, if that condition is sensitive to blood volumes. The ruptured liver ademona could cause a catastrophic internal hemorrhage for the mom, thus causing hypovolemic shock in the infant. Very sad."

When I researched "benign hepatocellular - i.e. liver - adenoma" I found to my surprise that:

"Ninety percent of hepatic adenomas arise in women aged 20–40, most of whom use oral contraceptives."

Wow.

(9) The Wonderful Alternatives! - When I had to think of something else to do for birth control, I came across Natural Family Planning.... and I fell in love. We took an awesome four-month class through our local Catholic Church, and I learned so much about my body! It was like entering a whole new world! I learned why cervical fluid has such incredible variation (and on a more basic level, what cervical fluid actually is), why I had mid-cycle pain (mittelschmerz) that always freaked me out when I didn't know what was going on, how to tell when I was pre- and post-ovulatory, when I was fertile or non-fertile, what all of the monthly changes in my body were and what they meant (cervical fluid, cervical dilation/effacement/etc.), when my period was approaching.... It was and is beyond awesome! Even though I'm not currently temping (too much broken sleep), I still track my cycle through cervical fluid and mittelschmerz, and I can predict my period within one day. I simply love NFP - it has been such a blessing, and I never would have discovered it had I stayed on the pill.

(10) Moods -When I asked DH what he didn't like about birth control pills, he immediately said "your moods!" - which made me remember (I had forgotten!) that I used to have absolutely horrendous PMS moods while on the pill, something that disappeared once I went off of the pill.

Well, that's all I can think of for now! What do you all think?

As always, the law of kindness is absolutely required on this blog - I love conversation, but not hate speech and comment wars. Any civil conversation and questions are welcomed; any rude or inflammatory comments or questions will be deleted immediately without comment.

Have an awesome Memorial Day, everyone!!

Gotta Love the FDA

2011-05-27T14:26:00.000-07:00

So by now you've probably heard - the FDA is seizing and destroying birth pools! A quote from the link:

"The FDA has confiscated a shipment of birthing pools and is holding them. The directives are clear: they will be destroyed or shipped out. Their reasoning? They are stating that birth pools are medical equipment."

And you know what? I think it's a great idea! After all, if "pregnancy is an illness and birth is a medical event", then why should birthing women in any location be able to use "unregistered and unapproved medical equipment" outside of FDA control?

But come to think of it, I also have a mean pair of tennis balls that I used for massage during labor. Oh, no! What is the FDA thinking? I demand a tennis ball "seize and destroy" - do you realize that millions of laboring women (who are so deathly ill with "pregnancy") are using unapproved tennis balls for back pain relief? Oh, the horror!

And gosh! I was drinking Gatorade during labor! Unregistered Gatorade! Gatorade that has not been approved for use during a medical event! Oh, thank goodness I lived through that one. I took my life into my own hands. Who knows what could have happened?

Really, it seems to me that the FDA has their work cut out for them. Millions of women using thousands of unregistered, unapproved labor-assistant devices and comfort measures. It's shocking, but true. Here are some that come to mind:

- Birth pools
- Tennis balls
- Rice socks
- Energy drinks
- Honey sticks
- Chapstick
- Hair bands
- Candles
- Aromatherapy

The possibilities are endless, and we truly need the FDA to step in and save us from our idiotic selves. Who knows what havoc we mindless laboring women could wreak upon ourselves and our babies?

But wait! Even if all of the above were confiscated and destroyed from hospitals, that wouldn't stop women from using them - unapproved and unregistered! - in their own homes. Egad!

There is only one solution. The FDA must place video cameras in every laboring woman's home to make sure that she isn't trying to sneak in some unregistered, unapproved laboring comfort measures outside of government approval.

And while we're at it, we'd better remove all bathtubs from the homes of pregnant women in order to make sure they're not using those forbidden birth tubs. You never can trust an unsupervised citizen.

Don't you just love the ever-encroaching invasion of government control into private life?

(No, I don't usually post articles like this one.... so please don't chew me up over it. Take it as a bit of satire and enjoy!)

Midwives Rising!

2011-05-26T15:04:00.000-07:00

This past Saturday, our family trekked down into metro Phoenix for the open house celebration of the new location of Midwives Rising, the office of Shell Walker and Mani Canaday.

Their new office is just gorgeous - a beautifully decorated older house (I love old houses!) that was a joy to explore. (I wish more doctors would snag old houses for their practices! They are simply so much more comforting and ease-producing than medical offices.) Their practice is within view of St. Jo's, where I did my doula training last month. I got to meet Shell (briefly!) for the first time, and loved her.

We intended on staying only about 20-30 minutes, as it had been a very long day and we were tired. Additionally, this was - for the most part - an entirely new part of the Phoenix birth community, and I found myself in the puzzling situation of knowing almost no one I saw! (Usually events like this are like family reunions, but this was a reunion from a different region than I am used to!)

Imagine my surprise, then, to find out upon leaving that we had stayed nearly four hours! Goodness! And we ended up having a lovely time. We did find some friends to greet, and we met a whole bunch of new people, and our 4yo had a wonderful time playing in the parking lot with a herd of other wired kidlets (skinned knees notwithstanding!).

My husband, as well as having a great time, immediately bonded with the BBQ guy (barbecue is a new passion of his), and he ended up receiving an entire tutorial on the fine art of roasting chicken.

We had a great time, and I am so pleased to now know a bit about this practice personally, so that I can recommend central Phoenix mamas to a great midwifery practice. Congrats to these midwives on their new location!

A Fun Coincidence!

2011-05-14T07:55:00.000-07:00

Point #1 - A friend of mine was doula for her sister-in-law at Mercy Gilbert this past week, and she had an awesome experience. (As a matter of fact, I think this friend of mine has a HUGE calling to be a doula.... she was just doing this as a favor to her SIL, but I'm hoping she will take it further.)

Point #2 - Mercy Gilbert hospital in Gilbert has at long last, through the persevering work of an amazing midwife team, installed a labor pool! (And there was great rejoicing!) This is an awesome step in the right direction, and a wonderful resource for valley mothers. The news has been spreading like wildfire over Facebook for the past few days.

Bringing the points together: When I shared on Facebook the photo that was going around of the new labor pool, my friend emailed me and said, "Oh, yeah! That's the picture we took from our room! She was the first one ever to use the new labor pool!"

Isn't that a fun coincidence?

And now for some fun, positive activism! Please, please, please - take a few seconds to drop Mercy Gilbert a note to thank them for making this resource available to birthing women, and for making birthing experiences for laboring mamas so much better (physically and emotionally!) here in the valley.

The best activism is positive activism! (That is, praising the positive rather than complaining about the negative.) Let's build up this hospital and show them love for the progress they are making in maternity care!

Here is the link to send an email:

Email Contact Form

And if you prefer snail mail:

Mercy Gilbert Medical Center
3555 S. Val Vista Drive
Gilbert, AZ 85297

Phone 480-728-8000

I'm going to get my note out today! So very exciting!!

The Joys of Homebirthing

2011-05-13T11:05:00.000-07:00

Found this randomly on a (wonderful!) homemaking blog I follow, Passionate Homemaking:

The Joys of Homebirthing

I love her list of reasons why homebirth is awesome, and I love what she concludes about homebirth:

"Birthing each of my children has been a empowering experience and a sanctifying work in my own heart. It has changed me more than any other process, event or circumstance. I have had to lean on the Lord more intimately than ever before. And in the process, I have grown to truly love the birthing process. I have learned that fear only tightens our muscles and causes delay in birth, whereas a wholehearted embracing and working together with contractions and pain has allowed for a smooth, peaceful transition into motherhood. God designed this pain to bring that fruitful sanctification in my own heart and He extends grace for every birthing environment."

Just lovely! Thank you for sharing!

(And if anyone out there is wondering, yes.... this blog above is an awesome blog! I love reading it!)

A Good Thing Gone Bad

2011-05-12T13:06:00.000-07:00

I don't follow this blog on a regular basis, but I saw the link on Facebook and had to share.

What happens when a homebirth midwife turns out to be.... a bad care provider? It doesn't happen often, and when it does, it's so very disappointing. You can read this mama's story here:

Confessions of a Mom Who Birthed With a Harmful Midwife, Part I and Part II.

It's interesting how she saw warning signs of what was to come, for example:

"I was suddenly flooded with memories of my midwife and her assistant telling me about other women whose births they had just attended. Some they would describe as beautiful, but others they would roll their eyes at and even laugh while telling me about the noises they made, or the way they acted.

"I hadn’t liked it at the time, but it was near the end of my pregnancy and I still really liked my midwife, and I had always assumed she was telling me these stories as a peer, being a doula. Now I wondered what mean things they would say about me and what a bad birther I was, too."

And some of the quotes from this story are just plain shocking:

"I heard voices from the other room and began straining to hear. Even in labor, I was being nosey. I heard Cari ask if she should (or could) come in to see me, but it’s what I heard next that shattered any confidence I may have had. My midwife who had only been with me through a handful of contractions, most of which were with her hand inside me causing me more extreme pain, angrily retaliated, “This is just ridiculous, I’m not going to coddle her through every contraction!”

And:

"There was no attempting to maintain dignity. There was no desire to impress her, or anyone else. I screamed and I begged her to stop. I tried to wiggle away and may have even tried to kick her. It was torture. I have no other word to describe it. I begged her to stop, to get out of my body and she refused, saying it was for my own good."

It's good to remember that just because someone has a title that we like ("homebirth midwife," "doctor," etc.), that doesn't mean that the person is going to act like our stereotyped beliefs of how a person of that title should act. We need to keep our ears and eyes open when choosing care providers!

I have only personally heard two traumatic birth stories that concerned bad care provider behavior or care. The first was a woman whose midwife missed signs of preterm labor, the birth ending in a preterm-birth turned crash cesarean, and the mother ended up with postpartum psychosis after the ordeal. The second birth was a homebirth in which the midwife would not budge on her strict protocols and various other details, making the birth a traumatic experience. Thankfully, stories like these are extremely rare! I am so happy that we have an awesome community of hoembirth and hospital midwives here in Arizona who make good birth experiences widely available to both homebirthing and hospital-birthing women.

Thoughts, anyone?

Mother's Day: The Missing Link

2011-05-08T21:21:00.000-07:00

Over the last few years, I have wondered if our culture might - however slightly - be missing the mark a bit with Mother's Day.

(Speaking of which, does anyone know if it is "Mother's Day" or "Mothers' Day"? I'm betting on the latter.)

Here's what I mean:

First of all, I do know that "motherhood" - i.e. the transformation that occurs upon the conception or the adoption of a child - is a monumental event in the life of a woman or a family, and also that society owes everything to the mothers (and fathers, of course!) who are faithful to raise and train moral and godly offspring in each generation. And the work of motherhood is one of tireless self-sacrifice and love that is rightly celebrated.

But there is a different sense, and one that isn't recognized on Mothers' Day, in which every woman is a mother. Women are not mothers because they have biological or adoptive children - they are mothers because motherhood is intrinsic in the feminine nature from the moment of conception. Womanhood is motherhood, in so many ways.

I can count so many women in my life, most of which having had no biological or adoptive relationship to me, who have acted as mother-mentors to me in the exact same way that a relational mother would. Who have sheltered, loved, taught, and mothered me in many ways, and for which I have so much gratitude. Why? Because we women are mothers. We mother those around us - by our mentorship, by our care, by our example. I "mother" the kids next door who come over to play. Other women "mother" my children by their care and love. Little girls mother their dolls and puppies and younger siblings (many young little girls have attempted to mother my babies by force - you can't keep them away from babies!).

My point, after much meandering, is simply that motherhood is something that is intrinsically present within the female soul, regardless of age and regardless of whether or not a woman or girl has any children. To be a woman is to be a mother, even if a woman is childless her entire life. And in recognizing only biological and adoptive mothers on Mothers' Day, we are missing out on that. My church gave out roses this morning to all women who have had children, which was sweet and wonderful, but I really think that on Mothers' Day, roses should be given to every woman and girl, regardless of their childbearing status.

I think a sentiment to express on Mothers' Day would be as follows:

For biological mothers, we celebrate the precious work you do in being vessels to carry sacred new lives. For all mothers to children here on earth, biological and adoptive, we celebrate your hard work and self-sacrifice as you pour yourself into your children's hearts and lives. For mothers who mourn babies who are now in heaven, we celebrate your love and the sweet little ones whom you will hold in the future. For girls, we celebrate your coming journey into the path of motherhood. And for all girls and women everywhere, we celebrate the God-given motherhood intrinsic in each and every woman's soul, that it would be used to teach, mentor, nurture, and care for all of the children and young women who need the motherhood of the proceeding generations.

Women everywhere, be blessed this Mothers' Day as you celebrate the beautiful gift of Motherhood!

Guest Post, Part II

2011-04-24T21:08:00.001-07:00

You can now read the second part of my guest post here. I'd love to hear your comments!

Happy Easter!!

Today I Am Not Here

2011-04-23T07:13:00.001-07:00

..... because I am somewhere else! And excited to be there! :)

Today marks my very first stint as a guest birth blogger - on my sister blogger Olivia's birth blog, Write About Birth. Be sure to check out her blog!

Last month Olivia wrote an utterly fascinating article for my birth blog, Giving Birth in Serbia. It is a fascinating article (take a look if you haven't yet!), and after reading it I realized that if that type of hospital was my only choice, I too would be birthing my children unassisted.

Olivia and I agreed to trade blog articles, and for her blog she asked me to write about hyperemesis gravidarum. I'm afraid I got a little bit carried away, because my long-winded article made her wordpress crash, and she is going to be publishing my article in two parts. The first is up today! Check it out here. It is a "hyperemesis primer" - I tell my story, in brief (readers who have read my story before will remember parts of it, which I rewrote from memory for this article), as well as various facets about HG and some various points (those latter parts are coming tomorrow). Feel free to write in and leave comments!

Have a wonderful Holy Week and a terrific Easter, dear readers!!

Apologies

2011-04-15T08:00:00.000-07:00

Any readers of this blog have probably noticed that I have been a very bad blogger recently! I have not been writing nearly as much as I normally do, and I apologize for it. I love blogging, I love the interaction with readers, and I have missed that lately.

Why have I not been writing much as of late?

I'm not sure. Partially, I'm just in one of those natural lulls that fall between periods of productivity. I just haven't had that great spate of ideas that leads to vast amount of blogging in recent weeks.

Also, I have sorta-kinda reached a crossroads in my birth junky path - I have finally decided to lay down the idea of becoming a doula (quite voluntarily, don't worry), for now at least.... and while I hadn't really had my heart set on that anyway, it does leave me wondering what my eventual role will be in the birth community. Am I fated to be forever-and-only a birth blogger? I hope not! But you can read more about that on my other blog in my recap of last week's DONA birth doula training.

Additionally, I have been thinking a lot about our family and the future of it (think "baby bug"). Thus, I've been doing a lot more blogging on my other blog - my hyperemesis blog. You can find me over there! Unfortunately, for a hyperemesis mother such as myself, having babies is more akin to going to war than just getting pregnant. You can read about my ~~battle strategy~~ hyperemesis protocol/plan - any non-HG mothers out there might find this interesting!

When I get back on the blogging band wagon, my first project will be not a post but a guest post for a sister blogger's site, also on the topic of hyperemesis gravidarum. Stay tuned; I'll post the link! I'm hoping to write something worth reading, but no guarantees.

Also (though I know this sounds ridiculous to moms of many), I am finding that life with two kidlets takes all of my time - even though one of them is still non-mobile! But housework, teaching, MOMS Club, playdates, AWANA, preschool, life in general - I find that it demands all of my time and energy - and then some! So blogging has had to take a back seat, though I still love to find time for it whenever I can.

In the meantime, have a wonderful weekend! Enjoy Palm Sunday and the beginning of Holy Week! Love to all!

More Adventures in Breastfeeding

2011-04-14T22:14:00.000-07:00

Tonight we had dinner with two couples from our new church - the pastor's family and one other family.

When we were sitting down to dinner, the pastor's 7-month-old baby started to fuss, so his wife very matter-of-factly grabbed her Boppy and a nursing cover, and nursed him right at the table with us while we ate.

Awesome!

Then a few minutes later, the other mom borrowed the nursing cover and nursed her 13-month-old at the table with us.

Again, awesome!

And then I nursed our 19-month-old while everyone sat in the living room playing with guitars, and no one batted an eye.

May I say - awesome!

Christians, of all people, ought to be among the most supportive of breastfeeding, but like many, we tend to be stuck in the unhealthy habits and attitudes of past generations and regard breastfeeding as indecent or yucky/gross. It's awesome to see the new generation of conservative Christians embracing God's gift to infants and mothers like the blessing it truly is.

Birth Story from Birth Faith!

2011-04-10T08:11:00.000-07:00

Busca from "Birth Faith" recently finished posting her birth story, and it is awesome! Here it is, in all four parts:

Surrender, Part 1

Surrender, Part 2

Surrender, Part 3

Surrender, Part 4

There are so many things to love about this birth story! You'll just have to check it out for yourself. Probably the most unusual thing about this birth is that the mama got all the way to the verge of transition while still thinking she was in early labor - very rare! She writes:

"It was tough to read Mary’s face as she measured my cervical progress and said, “Yeah…” I immediately thought… “What does that mean?!” And asked, “Where are we at?” She said, “Six plus and totally effaced. And six is being conservative… you’re really more like seven.”

"I was shocked. Did Mary really just tell me I was walking around on the verge of transition and didn’t even know it? She said only maybe once or twice before (in over 30 years of midwifery) had she felt a cervix like that… so soft and flexible that, as she explained, “All I’d have to do is swipe my finger around it and you’d be at nine centimeters.” Of course, she got herself right back out of me and didn’t mess around in there. She didn’t want to encourage any more cervical progress until we were home and she was there to assist us."

May I say - I want a birth like that, LOL!! Hopefully it runs in the water around here.

Enjoy!!

This Weekend: DONA!!!

2011-04-01T07:35:00.001-07:00

This weekend I am finally doing a DONA birth doula training in Phoenix.... I am very excited!! Also nervous. Why nervous? Nervous because I have to drive into Phoenix, of course! :) I find driving into the city (or any unfamiliar place, for that matter) to be quite intimidating, and my sense of direction is equal to a blind and drunken mole rat during the depths of hibernation (i.e. non-existent). I always manage to get lost! (And stressed out regardless of whether I'm lost or not.) So wish me luck!

I'm also nervous because our little guy is going with me. There is no way he would stay with daddy for such long days, so I'm going to bite the bullet and take him (and about five bags of baby supplies) with me. Thus, he'll either have a great time, or I'll spend most of the training in the hallway walking with him while he fusses. Thankfully there are going to be at least two other babies there, so it should be a cheerfully noisy event (as opposed to the dead silence while everyone glares accusingly at the sole noise source in the room - my baby!).

In retrospect, I probably should have waited to do a doula training till our little guy was old enough to stay with daddy..... I just couldn't resist the price! And I've been wanting to do one for ages. I was actually registered to go to one two years ago, but ended up being too sick (NVP strikes again!) to make it.

All of this would naturally lead one to conclude that I am studying to become a birth doula. Well, not really. I haven't really felt "the call" to become a birth doula, and in honesty I think I'd be pretty awful at it. Time will tell. I have not yet felt a distinct call into any specific type of birth work - which is just as well, as I don't handle an insanely busy schedule well, and I think God may be waiting on this one for a different season of my life (don't quote me on that one). But in the meantime, I am still passionately interested in birth work, and I'm really looking forward to learning all of the skills and information at this workshop - if baby lets me attend any of it, that is!

I'll check in after it's all over! Have a great weekend, all!

Guest Post: Giving Birth in Serbia!

2011-03-25T07:33:00.000-07:00

Greetings, dear readers! Has anyone else noticed that I have been a very bad blogger recently? Yes, I've been in one of my non-productive blogging slumps - hopefully to be resolved soon!

However! In my mental absence I have something wonderful to share with you all - a guest post by a wonderful sister birth-blogger of mine - Olivia over at Write About Birth, which I am delighted to share! (And when you visit her blog, check out her latest entry with the pics of placentas from early-clamped v. late-clamped cords, and you'll see why I am 100% for delayed cord-clamping! Wow!)

And so, without further ado, here is Olivia writing about birth in Serbia. Thank you, Olivia!

*****

Giving birth in Serbia

Having lived in the Netherlands for a while, homebirth was always something I considered to be normal. I have to admit to not having given birth and the issues surrounding it much thought before I actually became pregnant – even while I was trying to conceive my daughter. Then, pregnant and living in Serbia, I realized that I simply assumed that I would give birth at home in the absence of any medical indications that would prohibit this. I spent months looking for a homebirth midwife, and eventually found her. There is one, in the whole country, and I was lucky to find her. In the process, I learned a lot about the maternity “care”
system in Serbia, and resolved never to see the inside of a hospital unless there was absolutely no other way.

Medical birth advocates in the United States often wonder what “the natural birth crowd” is complaining about – after all, we are no longer stuck in the dark age of twilight sleep and a total lack of both choices and respect for laboring mothers. We no longer need to opt out of the system and turn to desperate measures such as giving birth at home. While I don’t think the maternity care system is perfect back in the States, and would give birth at home all the same over there, that dark age does continue to exist today, in Serbia and many countries like it.

Imagine joining the conveyor belt of laboring women to participate in the bureaucratic and inhumane process that is birth in Serbia. Admit your extensive paperwork of prenatal appointments, blood tests, and insurance documents to the shouting nurse while having contractions, and being scolded because the doctor at your local “health house” (the communist equivalent of a family practice clinic) wrote something down the wrong way. If you’re lucky, you’ll get to say goodbye to your husband before having your pubic hair shaved with the same razor all the other women at the hospital already met before you, and receiving an enema. “Make sure not to ‘redecorate’ the walls with your shit, because we don’t want to clean it!”

A friend who gave birth twice in different Serbian hospitals asked about refusing some of the many routine interventions – pubic hair shaving, enema, pitocin augmentation for every single woman, artificial rupture of membranes, giving birth flat on your back, an episiotomy, and an active management of the third stage of labor. She was informed that it is much better not to protest, because “they” would force the interventions upon her anyway, and would treat her with even less respect than they would otherwise.

Hundreds of women shared their story’s of what giving birth in Serbia is like with an organization that campaigns to make hospitals more humane.

One woman who said no to vaginal exam number five within the hour was told they she should stop being hysterical if she did not want the doctors to give her a general anesthetic and a c-section. Some refused augmentation, and were reassured that their IV drip just contained glucose, only to notice the label later on – pitocin. Almost all were shouted at and degraded.

The most common comments were “you didn’t mind spreading your legs nine months ago, now shut up!”, “don’t be hysterical, you spoilt bitch! You’re not the only one giving birth, you know!”, and “If you don’t push your baby out right now, it will die and it will all be your fault!” (after five minutes of pushing).

Babies are routinely taken away for days on end, and only brought for breastfeeding “sessions” three or four times a day for 15 minutes – after they were already filled up with formula. Unless you opt for the baby friendly program, in which case you’ll be left to your own devices entirely, including having to clean the bathroom you share with six other women yourself, if you don’t want to bath in other women’s postpartum blood.

But nothing quite compares to the stories of women whose babies “died”, or “disappeared”. The one I remember most vividly is the story of a single mother, who was told that her son weighed 3.6 kilos and was healthy. She heard him cry. They took him away without her ever having seen him, and when her baby was not among those brought for a breastfeeding session when the others all got to see their babies, she asked where he was. “Oh, your daughter weighed less than 2 kilos and would never have made it. We cremated the body.”

Every single time I hears other mothers’ experiences, I am so thankful I gave birth at home. But the midwife who attended my daughter’s birth also used to work in a hospital, and was dyed by the wool. She, too, yelled at me while I was pushing, saying that I was putting my baby’s life at risk by not pushing her out in two pushes. She, too, attempted to cut an episiotomy, and applied fundal pressure (AKA as pushing on the abdomen to get the baby to come out). I gave birth to my son unassisted. It was a wonderful experience.

Serbian women and babies deserve to be treated with respect, just like anyone else. Unfortunately, the efforts of the campaign group I mentioned earlier have been largely fruitless. Television shows that include their members portray them as a bunch of hysterical women that talk about issues that do not matter to anyone else. Patient rights exist on paper, but not in practice – especially when there are no witnesses.

What can we do to help?

NFP, Mittelschmerz, and Russian Roulette

2011-03-05T19:23:00.000-08:00

Between babies #1 and #2, we used NFP (Natural Family Planning) as our baby-spacing method. Right now, we are "technically" using NFP, but I'm not taking my temperature (which means that we're not really using NFP). Why? Well, I don't get up at the same time every day right now (too tired!), and I don't get the requisite four hours of straight sleep needed to get accurate temperatures.

However, here's something interesting! Every month, I get predictable "Mittelschmerz," also known as ovulation pain, cramps that occur mid-cycle cramping during ovulation (I'm assuming that it occurs during, and not before or after).

Assuming that mittelschmerz is the day before temperature rise, and that the next day would be the first day of temperature rise (the first day of the luteal cycle), I have been using Mittelschmerz to predict when my period will arrive. Since my luteal phase is 10-11 days long, I count off 10-11 days after Mittelschmerz, then mark the following two days as possible period days. For the past two months, I have been dead-on with a 10-day luteal phase.

Thus, if I experience mittelschmerz on March 1st, I would count off 10-11 days (that is, March 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11 and possibly 12) and predict that my period would start on March 12th or 13th.

It's worked! I'm interested to see if I can keep up the run of accurate predictions.

Any thoughts on this? And does anyone know if Mittelschmerz really does occur during ovulation (and not before or after, or all three?)

(Oh, and if anyone was wondering - Yes, I technically do have a "luteal phase defect," that is, a luteal phase that is "too short to support a pregnancy." However, we have never had any fertility problems (quite the reverse!). How that works I don't know!)

Two Beautiful Birth Videos

2011-03-04T22:06:00.000-08:00

Just wanted to post these really quickly!

Firstly, Rixa's Birth of her third baby - from yesterday! - a beautiful, surprise-unassisted home waterbirth (the midwife comes in about 4 minutes after the baby is born). I was surprised to notice that Rixa labors a lot like me - upright in water, kneeling, forward-leaning, powerful use of the voice during contractions. However, Rixa - unlike me - also labors while looking beautiful, stylish and completely put-together! (Ah well, maybe I'll master that part next time.)

You'll notice after the baby's birth that the baby, born pink, starts to lose muscle tone and needs some help - and Rixa, who is trained in neonatal resuscitation, immediately starts mouth-to-mouth and keeps it up till baby is stable.

Lesson #1 - If you're planning an unassisted birth, you need these sorts of skills!

Lesson #2 - I am going to sign up for the next neonatal resuscitation class offered (too bad I just missed one!) - I too need these skills! One never knows when they will come in handy, at one's own births or at others, and I want to be prepared like that. If our second baby had been a surprise-unassisted, we would have had the same situation (even more severely), and I would not have known what to do. I would rather be prepared.

And also, posted by my friend Laura on Facebook - a video of vintage French births. I actually know nothing about these births (where they occurred, etc.), but they are gorgeous births! I was so amazed! One doesn't think of hospital births from those times (i.e. somewhere in the 1960's-1970's) being anything to write home about, but these were joyful, beautiful, and respectfully attended. They were a joy to watch! (I haven't watched the entire film yet.)

'Night, all!

From the Past: Story of a Miscarriage

2011-02-28T09:47:00.000-08:00

I put that "from the past" bit in the title to prevent anyone from panicking! I am not pregnant, nor have I miscarried recently - this is the story of the loss of our first child, five and a half years ago.

I have been meaning to write the story out for quite some time, and this seems like a good time. DH is watching whatever those yearly movie awards are - I never can remember - and I am waiting to see if the vague nausea I've been feeling all evening is going to go away, or morph into a real stomach bug. I'm voting for the former.

And so, the story.

* Warning: The following, while not particularly graphic, is a child-loss story that may contain triggers for those mamas who have experienced loss by miscarriage/stillbirth/abortion. Read with caution if that is the case.

First of all, after my miscarriage, I was shocked to find out how incredibly common miscarriage is. Before we lost our child, I had only heard of miscarriage in a vague, theoretical, "never really happens in real life" sort of way. After my miscarriage, I was shocked at the sheer number of women who came up to me and told me their child-loss stories.

In fact, over the past two years, at least three of my birth-blogging sisters have lost children to miscarriage or stillbirth. You can read their stories here: Kathy's Story, Kayce's Story, Kristen's Story.

In the group of six church women (myself included) who started our childbearing years together about six years ago, we have lost a total of eight children: one ectopic pregnancy, one early miscarriage following spontaneous conception, one later miscarriage following spontaneous conception (mine), one miscarriage of twins following successful embryo adoption transfer, and three babies whose embryo adoption transfers were unsuccessful.

So miscarriage is very common. But it's not acknowledged or talked about very often. Even I fall into this trap. When people ask "How many children do you have?" I tend to say "two," even though I am very pro-life and fully believe in the existence and humanity of my now-in-heaven first child.

I rejoice whenever a woman writes out her miscarriage story, because it helps other women know that they are not alone... that many women have traveled this hard path before.

And so, my miscarriage:

Shortly after we found our church home here in the valley, a new friend of ours, Laura, announced her pregnancy. We had been married a year and a half, and couldn't think of any reason why we shouldn't get started with our childbearing venture, so we looked at each other and said "Hey, why not? Let's go for it!"

So in March of 2005, I went off of birth control (I didn't know about the risks or the issues surrounding chemical birth control at the time.... we are no longer using this method of contraception). We soon found that infertility was not one health problem that our family would face, because we were pregnant 2-3 months later - my last period was on May 31, 2005.

I remember that when my period started, we were in California, just preparing to come back to Arizona after a short trip. I was mega-disappointed, as I had hoped that "this" would be the month... but in fact, it was the following month. That was my last period before our little one joined us.

Now, I should give the diagnosis so that the rest will make sense: This pregnancy was a "blighted ovum" pregnancy, also called "early pregnancy loss." This means that the baby dies very early on in the pregnancy, but the "pregnancy," i.e. the sac, the hormones, etc., continue to grow - though usually at reduced rates. This results in an absence of pregnancy symptoms, or very reduced symptoms, and a miscarriage - when the body finally expels the sac - is inevitable and non-preventable.

Something that upsets me very much about current literature and/or practice with blighted ovum and/or "chemical pregnancies" is the notion that "there never was a baby." Yes, there is/was a child; it is just that the baby dies very early on, so that oftentimes when the issue is diagnosed, there is no visible child (because the death occurred weeks before). But there is no such thing as a pregnancy without a baby. Just wanted to clear that up.

Moving on!

After we could have reasonably expected my period to occur, and it didn't, we finally walked to the drugstore behind our apartments and bought some incredibly expensive pregnancy tests (now I get them for $1 apiece at Dollar Tree!). And the test was..... positive! Yippee!!

But it was faint. Very faint.

So we decided to wait a couple of days. We retested, and again, it was positive.... but the test was still faint. If this happened again, I would know what was happening... but at the time, we were just puzzled. "Okay, we're pregnant. I guess. Hurray!"

I had no pregnancy symptoms, except some possible chest enlargement that was so slight as to almost have been imaginary. We kept reading pregnancy symptom lists on the internet and saying, "Gosh, I guess we're just the lucky ones who don't have any pregnancy symptoms! This is cool.... I guess?"

The one symptom that I did have, eventually, was nausea. I didn't know it at the time, but this was a glimpse into the future. With a blighted ovum pregnancy, I should not have had noticeable nausea... and I did. It was moderate, nearly to the point of throwing up (but not quite), and steadily present. It was still in the "cute" category of pregnancy nausea - "cute" as in "I'm pregnant! And I'm nauseated! Isn't this cool? Look everyone, I have morning sickness! Hurray!" Not into the category of being so sick that I was hoping for death, a delightful experience that I would experience five months later as I entered the horrific and indescribable world of hyperemesis gravidarum. But at the time, I just thought it was cute.

We didn't tell any friends or church family about our pregnancy. For one thing, we thought that we were "supposed" to wait to tell people because "that's what everybody does." Also, looking back, I think I must have had an instinctual knowledge that something wasn't quite right. We had a feeling of unreality about the whole thing - "We're pregnant, but everything is just the same. What's going on?" We almost told friends several times, but never quite got around to it.

In mid-July, we interviewed our first set of midwives. At the time, we had only private insurance, so we had no maternity coverage. When I first started my research (much before this time), I had been under the mistaken belief (I was so incredibly ignorant) that "maternity" meant "hospital," and that our private insurance would still cover out-of-hospital midwife-attended birth. I was wrong, of course, but by the time I was done with my reading, I was absolutely sold on homebirth and wanted one regardless of what was covered and not covered. I was in love.

That is a decision, incidentally, which I have never regretted. Some of my decisions in life and parenting are decisions that I still feel torn on.... But with homebirth, I have absolutely no regrets, second-guessing, or questions. I found a niche, a passion, and a cause.... and a wonderful and safe method of birthing for our family (I know it's not for everyone). I am so thankful for that.

So we went into Phoenix to interview our midwives. An hour before we left, I injured my back, and so by the time we got to their office, I was in so much pain that I could hardly walk or sit down. But despite that, we fell in love with our midwives and with midwifery care, and had a great time.

That was also one of the first time that I saw a collection of birth photography, and I found it a bit shocking. Now that I'm used to the most candid and up-close birth photos, I try to think back to that moment to remind myself why non-birthy people sometimes find birth photography off-setting when I now find it beautiful.

(With our second baby, we didn't stay with these midwives because they were just too far away... we changed to another midwife closer to home. But we remained on good terms with this team, and one of those midwives actually ended up at our later birth as a back-up anyhow!)

But back to the story:

Sometime around seven weeks, we decided to tell our parents. I had had a plan devised for quite some time, and my husband agreed to it - we got blank greeting cards, wrote nothing but "Proverbs 17:6" in them, and mailed them to both sets of parents.

(Proverbs 17:6 - "Grandchildren are the crown of the aged")

And then.... we waited. Three days went by, and... nothing. No phone calls, no excited congratulations, nothing.

A week, then a couple more days went by.... we were thoroughly puzzled!

And then, a package arrived in the mail for us from my mom. It contained a baby blanket which had been hand-made for my own birth, and a card that said something like "Did I guess right?" My mom was a stinker! But it was a perfect answer to our card, and I loved it.

After that, DH called his parents and said, "Um, did you get our card?" His mom said, "Oh, yes, I got it, but I was just too tired to look up the verse, so we didn't." Oh, dear. So DH got to give the news over the phone: "Um, that verse was "Grandchildren are the crown of the aged." Get it? Grandchildren?"

Enlightenment and congratulations followed.

A few days later, we called the rest of the family and let them know about the baby, and so were showered with love and congratulations. It was a lot of fun.

That was the end of the fun part.

The next morning, July 28th, I went to work as normal. I was primarily a homemaker, but I worked a part-time job as the secretary of our church.

I felt fine, but when I went to use the restroom shortly after arrival (at 8:00 a.m.), I noticed that there were brown streaks on the toilet paper. Brown streaks. I was puzzled and a bit alarmed. Was this blood? Was everything okay?

So I went back into the office and called my midwife. She said to keep an eye on it, but that there was nothing to worry about unless the blood was red. It was just a matter of waiting.

My boss (also my pastor) was out of town at the time, so I was alone at the church. This was a very good thing, I'm afraid, because I spent most of the morning - in between spouts of actual work - frantically googling "brown blood while pregnant" and "miscarriage symptoms" etc. etc. etc. It was a good day to be alone.

I went to the bathroom several additional times to check, and there was no more blood of any color.

However, as the morning progressed, I started to feel... yucky. I can't quite remember all of the details, because it is a bit hazy, and it was also almost six years ago now. All I can say is that I started to feel.... off. Not well. Cramps, I think, vague nausea, and just a sense of ill-being that grew and grew with intensity. I just felt worse and worse.

However, oddly enough, I did not put the pieces together. I did not realize that this was the beginning of a miscarriage. I just wondered why I was feeling so badly.

Sometime around mid-day, our sweet worship director came into the office to make a few copies. She was her usual bright and breezy self, and she chatted cheerfully during the few moments the copier was buzzing. By that point, I was slumped against the door, staring blearily at her, and could only mumble idiotic monosyllables. I felt like dirt, I was having a hard time staying on my feet, and I could not carry on a rational conversation - but I don't think she noticed anything. She left in less than five minutes, and at that time I gave up trying to work till quitting time - I got my stuff and headed for my car.

Driving home, I felt dreadful. I was slumped against the side of the car, just trying to get home in one piece. I figured that if a policeman stopped me, I would either collapse or throw up all over him, and that he could take it from there. I didn't care about anything at that point.

When I got home, about 10 minutes later, I got inside and ran for the bathroom, as I had overwhelming nausea and needed to throw up. However, when I got there, I didn't need to throw up after all. Instead, I used the restroom normally...

... and then I saw the blood. Lots of blood. Pouring, streaming, out into the toilet. It looked like rivers and showers of blood, going everywhere. I had never seen so much blood.

It was at that point that I truly realized that I had lost this baby.

I got to the phone and called our midwife. She gave me directions on what to do, and what to watch for, told me to get DH home, and to rest. I called DH and told him what had happened, and he was home within 20 minutes. I was a tearful mess during this entire time, needless to say.

DH was extremely upset. At first, he insisted on clinging to the hope that we might have had twins and lost only one of them, which really annoyed me. DH occasionally has the habit of clinging to false hope in times when grief is the more appropriate response. It was nice when he got past that phase.... I hope that I put that understandably? But apart from that, he was a great comfort.

We decided not to go the hospital. Our midwife told us that most miscarriages complete on their own just fine, and we didn't want to go in unless we had to. My body showed signs of doing fine on its own (no fever, etc.), so we never saw a doctor. When I hear that nowadays many doctors automatically do D&C procedures on all miscarrying women, regardless of necessity, I am very glad that we were able to stay home.

After the first hour, I actually felt okay. I took it easy for the rest of the day, and the miscarriage continued like a normal period. I was able to resume normal activities very rapidly.

It surprised me, when I read other miscarriage stories, that normal miscarriages can take much longer and be much more painful than mine was. I am guessing that it is because my pregnancy was a blighted ovum pregnancy that the miscarriage was actually easier than other women's experiences - I have often read of miscarriages being like a "mini labor" experience, with contractions, labor, transition, and "birth" phases, and lasting for many hours or days. Mine was over much sooner. (Though my miscarriage did follow - in miniature - a labor pattern, of growing "contractions" and then extreme nausea during "transition," which mirrors my other labors - I have always thrown up during transition.)

After a while, when I was feeling better, I went back into the bathroom - and I could see the sac floating in the water. I didn't pick it up. I wish I had..... I really wish I had. Now, if it happened, I would pick it up, look to see if I could see the baby, and then devise some way of burying it properly. But I wasn't thinking clearly, or thinking at all.... and at the time, in my ignorance, I thought that an eight-and-a-half-week baby would be too small to be seen by the naked eye, so I didn't try to look. Considering the type of pregnancy we had, I was probably right, though a normally-developed child would definitely be clearly visible and easy to find at that gestational age. Anyhow, that is one major regret of my miscarriage.

DH spent the evening calling all of the family to let them know of our loss - the same family, incidentally, which he had called the evening before to announce our pregnancy. It was a really sad time, a time of grief.

My aunt, who is one of the sweetest women in the world, wrote me a letter "from" our baby. It was precious, and I still have it:

****

"Dear Mommy and Daddy,

"We don't know each other very well because we weren't together very long, but I want you to know I felt your love and anticipation and excitement.

"I know you would make great parents but you can't imagine how wonderful it is being in heaven. Jesus welcomed me into His arms with a big hug and then introduced me to my Gramma Fern. We are having a great time together. She is telling me all about you, Mommy, when you were born and how you grew up. She is very proud of you. We'll have lots to catch up on when you get here!

"I just want you to know I am loved and well cared for here just as I would have been if I had stayed with you. But we have to obey Jesus when He says come home so that's what I did.

"I'm giving you this little bear (included with letter) to be a reminder of me until we meet in heaven - soon I hope!

"I LOVE YOU,

"Until"

***

She was so sweet, and we appreciated that so much.

The most hurtful comment was from an unnamed family member, who said "Oh well, you weren't really pregnant yet anyway."

No words.

I found my emotional recovery to be... okay. It wasn't easy, and it wasn't terribly hard. We told our church family the following Sunday, and we were immediately surrounded by love and sympathy. They were so wonderful. Three months later, we were pregnant again and were almost immediately plunged into the life-altering world of hyperemesis gravidarum, previously mentioned, which left me neither thought nor energy (nor consciousness) to deal with anything past surviving minute-to-minute. But we remember our little one with regret and love, and we look forward to meeting him or her in Heaven.

We did not name our baby, since we did not have a distinct impression about sex. That too will have to wait for Heaven.

And there you have it. The story of our first baby's "birth" - born not into our arms, but into eternity - but loved and remembered always.

I'm so glad I finally wrote this out - every baby deserves his own birth story, even if it a story in which "hello" and "goodbye" are intertwined.

Baby, we'll see you in Heaven. We love you.

Birth Center Focus: Babymoon Inn!

2011-02-26T10:34:00.000-08:00

Here, written out in exquisite detail, is the birth story of the first baby ever to be born at one of our new birth centers, Babymoon Inn!

Birth at the Babymoon

I have to say that this is one of the most joyfully enthusiastic birth stories I have ever read... I loved it!

(Side note: The midwife team mentioned includes my midwife, Wendi, though she is not pictured in the story.)

This past Thursday, I got to hear another birth story (in person) from a mama who birthed at Babymoon, and she too was wildly enthusiastic. May I say - again - how elated and excited I am about the recent openings of our valley's three new birth centers? It is awesome beyond belief.

Loved this!

Culture Wars in a Cake

2011-02-26T10:30:00.000-08:00

I bet the owner of the internationally-famous "Cakewrecks" blog never expected this cake-photo entry to explode into a heated birth-culture debate!

The First Censored Cake Wreck

The only thing funnier than how heated the conversation got.... was that I, too, got pretty irritated after reading some of the comments!

So, check out the comments! It's a full-blown culture debate, in all its divisive, polarized glory. You can see my comment down near the very bottom. Feel free to chime in, either here or there!

Just for Fun!

2011-02-23T17:07:00.000-08:00

Okay, everyone! Ready for some uber-fun activism?

The buzz on the street lately has been about shoelaces.

Why shoelaces?

Because shoelaces are what 911 operators tell parents to use to tie umbilical cords during precipitous births (births that were not intended to be at home but happen there anyway due to a rapid labor).

The quote from the currently used script is thus:

“Listen carefully and I’ll tell you exactly what to do next. Without pulling on the cord, tie a string (shoelace) tightly around the umbilical cord, about 6 inches from the baby.”

Ooh. Has anyone thought about the hygiene of the average shoelace? Or about the wisdom of immediate cord clamping in the first place, considering the stockpiling evidence that non-physiologic (i.e. premature) cord clamping is harmful to the child anyway?

First of all, check out this post by the ever-wonderful Navelgazing Midwife on what exactly is lurking on your average shoelace:

Those Darned Shoelaces

Then, the excellent paper by Dr. Nicholas Fogelson on the benefits of physiologic cord clamping (i.e. waiting for the cord to stop pulsing naturally so that baby gets all of his blood supply) vs. the risks of immediate cord clamping (unfortunately still the standard of care:

Delayed Cord Clamping Should Be Standard Practice in Obstetrics

Then, while you're at it, take a second to "like" these groups on Facebook (if you haven't already):

Leaving A Baby's Umbilical Cord To Stop Pulsating (Delayed Cord Clamping)

Save the Shoelaces

Jill at the Unnecesarean recently published the 9-1-1 protocol so that we could see it:

The Shoelace Protocol

(Must say, as a side note, that I'm impressed with their breech protocol.)

She then published the website link to the people who write these protocols (see her entry "Changing 9-1-1Protocol Standards for Childbirth"). Here it is:

Emergency Dispatch

And here is their contact page. I got the four email addresses available and sent them the following letter:

***

To Mr. Freitag, Ms. Page, Mr. Massengale, Ms. Vanbeuge and others concerned,

I am writing to you with a proposal/request for change in the 911 protocol regarding directions for precipitous childbirth, specifically regarding the “shoelace protocol.” If I have written to the wrong location, please forward to the correct persons.

To the best of my knowledge, the current protocol reads (regarding tying off the umbilical cord):

“Listen carefully and I’ll tell you exactly what to do next. Without pulling on the cord, tie a string (shoelace) tightly around the umbilical cord, about 6 inches from the baby.”

I would like to propose the following:

(1) That a shoelace or string not be recommended for use.
(2) That cord clamping not be recommended at all.

Point #1: That a shoelace or string not be recommended for use.

I submit the following article for your examination:

http://navelgazingmidwife.squarespace.com/navelgazing-midwife-blog/2010/6/19/those-darned-shoelaces.html

The point being that used shoelaces are filthy and infested with bacteria and should have no place on a baby’s umbilical cord.

Point #2: That cord clamping not be recommended at all.

There is increasing evidence that clamping the cord while blood is still flowing from the placenta to the baby is both unnecessary and harmful to the baby. There has been a flood of articles in the news over the past six months on this issue, which I am sure you have seen, so I will just submit the following by obstetrician Nicholas Fogelson:

http://academicobgyn.com/2009/12/03/delayed-cord-clamping-should-be-standard-practice-in-obstetrics/

In summary, it is safer for the baby and much more hygienic if the cord is simply left to finish its delivery of blood to the newborn, rather than being unhygienically and prematurely clamped, which both keeps the baby from receiving his entire blood volume and introduces the possibility of dangerous pathogens onto the umbilical cord. In that case, the cord can simply be cut with sterile instruments by emergency services when they arrive, which is healthier in both ways for the newborn (and also gives less trouble to the parents).

Please feel free to contact me regarding either suggestion.

Sincerely Yours,
Diana J.

****

So, if you're interested in helping to promote change on a national level, have at it! Here are the emails that you can copy and paste into an email:

'scott.freitag@emergencydispatch.org'; 'carlynn.page@emergencydispatch.org'; 'Dave.Massengale@emergencydispatch.org'; 'arabella.vanbeuge@emergencydispatch.org'

Just send them a note making the following points:

(1) If you are going to clamp a cord, a shoelace is not a good choice.
(2) In any case, immediate cord clamping is neither necessary, healthy or safe.

And that scripts need to be changed to reflect modern research rather than outdated dinosaur-practices!

I love letter-writing for positive change!!!

Life With Two

2011-02-23T16:52:00.001-08:00

Thought I'd repost this from my hyperemesis/personal blog!

I am an only child. Raised alone, with an extended family that also had no other children, in a neighborhood with almost no children. I'm used to being an only-child in every sense of the word.

So, two years ago, when we found ourselves unexpectedly expecting our latest little one (Oops! Oh wait, we meant to do that), I had to wrap my mind around a new paradigm.

What do these large families (i.e. more than one child) do, anyway? And can I survive as a mother of more than one child?

One of the biggest adjustments I found with having our first child was learning to keep track of a moving dot in my mind - that is, my child's location. Pre-kids, I just had to pay attention to what I was doing. Post-birth, I had to keep track of not just myself, but also our baby/todder - (1) where is he?, (2) what is he doing?, and (3) is he doing anything particularly life-threatening?

So, predictably, one adjustment that had to be made upon the birth of a second child was adding another dot to my mental map. It's kind of a sub-conscious background thing - just learning to have a constant low-level of awareness of where each child is, what he/she is doing, and if he/she is in any immediate danger. I guess that's an adjustment that has to be made with each child - adding another moving dot to one's mental map!

In terms of adding another child, I have had a much easier time than many moms. Why?

(1) I had my "hard" one first and my "easy" one second. Much easier than the other way around! One mom I know said that she had an easy-beyond-belief introduction into motherhood when her #1 was a compliant, docile little guy, and then had her world rocked when her strong-willed #2 entered the world. I much prefer the way it happened for me!

(2) Being that our little guy, due to his health issues, is still non-mobile, I am having a much easier time than most moms do when #2 becomes mobile. Right now, if I put #2 down somewhere, he stays there! Lovely! He's starting to roll a bit, so I can't leave him on unguarded beds, but on the whole, he's not going to show up in the bathroom five minutes later, drinking bleach. Thank goodness. I've had enough bleach-drinking for a lifetime.

Also, our #2 is a much calmer, quieter, kind of guy, so I don't think he'll be the up-down-all-around whirlwind that our #1 was, even when he does become mobile.

Also, I have been blessed in that our older son has taken well to his younger brother. He was uber-jealous before the birth, but his jealousy pretty much vanished at birth. (I have to put a plug in here for having siblings present at births.... We had an awesome experience having our 3yo at baby's birth, and it was at that point that the jealousy vanished. I have heard the same story repeated over and over and over from other mums, so we'll definitely keep up the habit if any other little ones join us. Advertisement over.)

However, having a #2 has resulted in many more chores to be done, a much longer to-do list, and much less discretionary time. A lot of my attempts at crunchiness have gone to the wall - hopefully they'll have time to reappear sometime in later years? I don't know. But here's a run-down at things that have had to go the way of all good things since a second child entered our lives:

- Line-drying of clothes - The dryer is my friend. Rough on clothes, but that's okay.

- Ironing - I know a wonderful young woman who says firmly, "I don't iron." I resisted for a long time, but I have now made her mantra my own. It's a wonderful way to live.

- Making my own peanut butter - Not worth the time, though it was fun. Other homemade items have similarly bitten the dust. I still make my own yogurt and my own baby food.

- Complicated recipes - Almost my entire recipe collection has been revamped. Pre-babies, I made homemade pizza, homemade pierogi, homemade bread, the works. Now my world revolves around what is fast and what can go in the crockpot. I still go with all-natural, for the most part, but lengthy time-consuming recipes are a thing of the past.

- Super-thriftiness - I don't price match any more. I should, but I don't. And I don't spend tons of time trying to find deals or looking for recipes that I can make for under $2.00. I just make a meal-plan around the ads at Sprouts and go from there. Part of it is frustration with "thrifty" recipes that are nothing but white flour in a variety of forms, and part of it is just an issue of NO TIME. If I can get to the store, get what we need, and make it on a nightly basis, I'm happy.

- Cloth napkins - I have a lovely collection, but the vast amount of processing time isn't worth the tiny savings right now. Maybe later.

- Getting rid of plastic - Getting plastic out of our house has been a goal of mine.... and it still is.... but I am so stinking tired of cleaning up broken glass. Plastic is in for now.

- Nixing the microwave - I've wanted to stop using the microwave for a long time. But now, with two kids, the microwave is my meal-by-meal companion. Ah, well. Another time.

- Housecleaning - Ah, yes. My arch-nemesis. Housecleaning is something that really, really bugs me. When I was a pre-kids homemaker, I happily spent all day every day cleaning and organizing. Mmm. May I say that I was an uptight housekeeper?

In fact, here's a funny story: When our doula for our first birth met with us, she asked us what we wanted for our birth (candles, music, massage, etc.). I told her that I didn't care what she did for me; the only thing that I cared about was not letting the house get messy during the birth (clutter, etc.) - so would she please just see that the house stayed clean?

*Sigh*

Now, knowing a bit about childbirth, I would never say something like that (and I also know what I want and need from a doula!). But that was just a reflection of my "need for clean."

And that's still there - it's just being progressively repressed. Forcefully. But it's not easy to let go of standards - it's kind of like prying open the jaws of an enraged and locked-on pit bull.

However, having a second child has forced me to lessen my housekeeping standards... again. It's painful, but necessary.

However, there have been some positive repercussions. For example, now being a little bit more loosened up, I can kinda-sorta-almost relax with a mildly messy house (or rather, not really, but I can pretend). Also, I've started to do more things with and for my family - like making Saturday breakfasts, or playing with our eldest - that I didn't do too much of before because I was so uptight about the house.

Other notes:

Having a second child has pushed me further in terms of maturity. I think that every child added to a family is a sanctifying influence upon the parents (if they choose to let it be so) because it forces us further away from our selfish desires and pursuits into the service of others. Having an older child is forcing me to develop authority and discipline and a backbone, none of which I have naturally. Having a baby at the same time is teaching me to multi-task, to push myself further, to die to my own desires even further to meet the needs of my family.

It is also more physically demanding, as I am now dealing with sleep disturbances at night and an active family during the day. First-time mothers, please remember to relax and sleep when your baby sleeps, because it is the only time that that luxury exists! When #2 arrives, there is always a #1 demanding attention. I still enforce a daily nap/quiet time with an unfailing energy, because it is my saving grace, but there is no more of having several daily times when baby is sleeping and I am free (too bad!!!).

Having a second child has been a really good thing for me, and I'm so glad God chose to bless our family with our sweet little one. If it weren't for the HG issue, I would definitely jump into it again wholeheartedly (I'm going to post on this subject soon.... remind me if I forget).

Any comments? How has having a child, or a second or third or fourth child, impacted your life?

Pictures from Today

2011-02-19T20:55:00.000-08:00

Today our family attended the memorial service for Dr. Charles Martin, our family friend and pediatrician, who was an amazing doctor and highly regarded by our local birth community (see my tribute here).

I could say that it was a lovely service, and I'm sure it was, but the truth was that I didn't hear a word of it. Being that we were about 5 minutes late, we arrived to an office that was not just "standing room only" but "standing room outside only." We stood outside in the rain, with a lot of other attendees, looking through the glass, for about 15 minutes until someone took pity on all of us and shepherded us into the back office, where more and more people piled in until we were stuffed like sardines into the proverbial can. Unfortunately, there was no sound, so we ended up standing elevator-style in the back for the entire service, hearing an occasional sentence fragment from the front.

In some ways, I was glad about that, being that I am still very upset over Dr. Martin's death, and I have a bad habit of bawling at funerals anyhow. But I also feel like we missed something very precious... so I regretted it at the same time. Next time, they definitely need to hold a service at a bigger location! (Not that there will be another time, but still!)

Anyhow, the service was highly successful. Several hundred people attended, and the service consisted of about 90 minutes of "open mic", with people telling stories of their time with Dr. Martin. There were colleagues, staff, students, and clients present - all kinds. It was really touching to see people in tears for their doctor and colleague - a reflection of what a great guy he was.

My husband went in after the service was over, and took some pictures, so here they are:

It was a lovely outpouring of support!

It hasn't been made clear yet whether another doctor will be taking the practice, or if the practice is dissolving. We'll probably find out in the next couple of weeks.

In Memoriam: A Remembrance

2011-02-17T18:18:00.000-08:00

This morning, I opened Facebook to find the devastating news that our pediatrician, Dr. Charles Martin, had died suddenly, at the age of 46.

And I sat, wondering - "Why am I sitting here at the computer, crying uncontrollably? He is, after all, "just" a healthcare provider, and yet I'm crying as if I've lost a personal friend."

And then I realized - Dr. Martin was our friend. I might even say a close friend. I am crying for the death of a friend because he is, indeed, close to the heart of our family. And his death has been a terrible loss.

Dr. Martin saw and held each of our babies within a day or two of their births. He encouraged me through the challenging days and months and years of early motherhood. He affirmed my husband and me through the beginning years of our family. And he has, through the appointments and conversations of five years, become our helper, co-conspirator, and friend.

A few remembrances.

Although I read voraciously during our pregnancy on the topics of pregnancy and birth, one thing that I did not research was pediatricians. And so, a day or two after our eldest's birth, I found myself telling my midwife - "Quick! I need a pediatrician!"

She handed me a list with four names on it, the first of which was Charles Martin. On the strength of that recommendation, I called him up and made our first appointment.

And that was that.

I found in Dr. Martin a gruff, plain-spoken man of intense personality and vibrant humor, and one who was deeply intelligent and deeply thoughtful, and with a true love of children and their families.

Very importantly, I found that Dr. Martin, unlike many pediatricians, had a deep respect for parental decisions and for hands-off medicine, and a passion for delivering quality service:

- He respected our decision to fore-go vaccinations, and never nagged us. Instead, he continually reaffirmed that, though at least (I believe) moderately pro-vaccine himself, he believed that parents' informed decisions should be respected and honored by health care providers. Many (most) other pediatricians are rude, condescending and contemptuous to non-vaccinating parents (some of you reading this have experienced this), either refusing to take them as patients or demeaning and scolding them in front of their children regarding their informed healthcare decisions. (Way to honor patient autonomy and informed decision-making.) Not Dr. Martin - he was the personification of respect.

- He completely supported our decision to birth our babies at home, and he loved our midwife. Just a few months ago, when we were in to see him, he paused in the middle of his exam and gave a mini-lecture to the whole room (which was quite full at the time) on the subject of why midwives were wonderful, why my midwife in particular was wonderful, and why all doctors should practice like midwives.

- He respected all other of our health care decisions that we made, without nagging and with complete support. He gave us the support that we needed as struggling new parents.

- He often recommended the courses of action that were least invasive to our children. For example, when we suspected that our baby had reflux, he said: "We could do a scope exam, but that is painful and traumatizing to the child, so let's not and just treat by food and elevation, etc." - which worked just fine.

- He single-handedly saved our breastfeeding relationships with both of our babies. Many pediatricians, unfortunately, are all too happy to sabotage breastfeeding relationships by pushing formula for any problem during initiation and then on the other end by encouraging early weaning. With our first, when breastfeeding problems arose, he gave us a feeding schedule that fixed some serious problems in 24 hours flat. With our second, when completely different problems arose that necessitated supplementation, he said not "Get thee to Target to buy some formula," but "Get thee to a breastfeeding store and get a breast pump!" And then, after baby had become bottle-addicted, he gave us another prescription which, when I got up the guts to do it, got baby back off the bottle and onto the breast within 7 hours. He also encouraged longterm breastfeeding. The end result was that our first nursed to 33 months, and our second to 18 months and counting. With many (most) other pediatricians, both babies would have ended up on formula due to my "inability to breastfeed."

- He gave plenty of time for appointments, oftentimes up to an hour when it was warranted. We had many interesting conversations, and he didn't hesitate to hand out as much knowledge as I needed or wanted.

- He spent oodles of time with us, over these past eight months, helping us to get started figuring out our baby's health problems and giving us guidance. At our last appointment, two weeks ago, he helped me to work out a plan of direction for handling baby's health care from here on out.

As a friend of mine said,

"Dr. Martin was like a friend I could talk to about anything, especially our non-mainstream choices. We were partners in my kids' healthcare and he always treated me as an equal."

Dr. Martin was a true asset to the community, an amazing man, and probably one of the best pediatricians in the world. We thank God for his presence in our lives, and we are going to miss him greatly.

Women's Birth and Wellness Center - Hurray!

2011-02-12T22:30:00.000-08:00

This afternoon we trekked over to Mesa for the grand opening of the new Women's Birth and Wellness Center. It was awesome!

I went into this not really knowing much about the center, nor about the midwife who is in charge of it, Claudine Calligan. For some reason, I've absorbed a lot of information about Phoenix's two other birth centers, but not about this one - why, I don't know! But there it was. It was a mystery.

A mystery no longer!

We had a chance to tour the center - something which would have been lovely if our little one had not taken it into his head to scream his head off the entire time - but I did get to glance around, albeit briefly. The center has 2-3 birth rooms, one with a birthing pool, a common room and kitchen, offices, etc., all equipped for births and exam capabilities - plus an ultrasound machine!

I met one of the midwives who is running the birth center, and she gave me lots of yummy information. Firstly, and most exciting of all news - this center (listen up, mothers of the world!) will be taking VBAC, breech, and multiples births! YES! Is that not exciting beyond belief? The other two birth centers are not able to take those types of births, due to insurance and licensing issues, but this one can and will. She told me that there will be a lot of restrictions on those births, to ensure that women accepted are all low-risk, but I am so excited to have a resource to offer VBAC mothers. (And the people rejoiced!)

The midwife told me that this birth center will have more "medical" capabilities than most low-tech birth centers or homebirths can offer. For example, they will offer IVs (offer, not mandate) to laboring mothers and to long-labor mamas who might benefit from IV placement. For those of us who decry mandatory IV placement in modern hospitals, this might seem like an odd benefit, but for mothers who need it or feel more comfortable with traditional labor trappings, this is great. They will also have a nurse attend all births. For friends of mine who want lower-tech births but need the comfort of a more medical setting, this will be ideal.

The midwife also told me that the center is now awaiting its first birth, as their first mama is "in the window" and will be birthing any day.

(After speaking with this midwife for half an hour, I finally realized that she was the same midwife who had worked with my own midwife five years ago when we were awaiting the birth of our first child! When I finally made the connection, it was fun to be able to say "Oh, it was you!" "Oh, and how are you? And what have you been doing?" and all of that.)

I am very excited about this birth center! I can't wait to learn more and get to know the midwives involved, and to hear about all of its adventures. Congratulations to the staff of Women's Birth and Wellness Center!

Here, There, Everywhere!

2011-02-04T20:38:00.000-08:00

In the past year, the Phoenix Valley has gone from having no birth centers....

.... to having one birth center

.... to having two birth centers

.... to having three birth centers!

Is that amazing, or what? We have:

Babymoon Inn (Phoenix)

Blossom Birth and Wellness Center (Phoenix)

Women's Birth and Wellness Center (Mesa)

(I believe the Bethany Midwives are in the midst of starting an in-hospital birth center - with waterbirth! - but I can't find anything on their website in confirmation of this. Information, anyone?)

I am so excited about all this! And last month at birth circle, I heard for the first time expectant couples who said not only "I'm having a homebirth!" or "I'm birthing at hospital X" but also "I'm having my baby at Babymoon!" and "I'm having my baby at Blossom!" What an awesome collection of resources for expecting mamas!

I attended Blossom's opening, and got to see this amazing and gorgeous facility (if I wasn't a confirmed home-birther, I'd definitely consider it!). I had to miss Babymoon's opening, for some reason - I hope I get to see it sometime! Women's Birth and Wellness is having its open house next Saturday, February 12th, from 2:00 to 6:00 p.m., and we are planning to be there.... I am very excited! If you're in the area, come out and join us!

It is simply impossible to have too many birth centers! Bring it on!!

Hospital Packing List

2011-02-02T21:21:00.000-08:00

My newly postpartum friend Jen posts her thoughts on her hospital packing list - what she used, what she missed, what she wishes she had added. Plus some gorgeous newborn pics!

My Recommendations

I've never put too much thought into packing a hospital bag (I just put in the basics for the possibility of a transport), but if you are planning to birth in-hospital, it definitely pays to put some serious thought into it!

Anyone have anything to add to the perfect hospital bag packing list?

How to Be a Great Grandma

2011-02-01T19:08:00.000-08:00

A dear friend of mine is eagerly awaiting the arrival of her first grandbaby (due any day!). Yesterday, she posted on Facebook: "Can anyone tell me any do's and don't's for grandparents?"

(As a matter of fact, my friend has nothing to worry about.... she is going to be the best grandmother in history! She is an awesome woman..... I'd have to say "practically perfect in every way." There is not a young woman in her church who does not consider her a mentor and surrogate mother. Some day they'll be building statues to this woman.... she is going to be great.)

But anyhow, I thought I'd publish the suggestions (paraphrased, not quotes). Here they are!

DO pray for your kids as they become parents.

DON'T constantly try to feed the grandkids sweets.

DO give your grandkids lots of love.

DO give your kids a night off once in a while, and be available to help them out when you can.

DO bite your tongue if your kids aren't parenting the exact way you did.

DON'T get in the way of what your kids are trying to do as parents.

DON'T sabotage your kids' rules or parenting efforts with passive-agressive behavior (i.e. giving the grandkids sugar after your kids have said they want to be sugar-free, showing the grandkids TV after the parents have said they don't want their kids watching TV, giving them things for gifts that the parents have said they don't want in their house, etc.)

DO refrain from giving unwanted advice or criticism.

DO remember that you too did stupid things with your kids while you were learning!

DO give your kids lots of grace!

Does anyone have anything to add?

Quiverfull Philosophy

2011-02-01T19:00:00.000-08:00

Yet another quick post which intertwines birth and Christian theology, and so which may apply only to readers of the Christian faith (though not necessarily!).

So, I've been reading up lately on the Quiverfull Movement, which is a conservative Christian movement that rejects all form of birth control, that is, putting God in complete control of family size. It is based on the Bible verse: "Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, The fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, So are the children of one’s youth. Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them." (Ps. 127:3-4, NKJV).

Followers of the Quiverfull movement believe that (1) any form of birth control is an effort to take away the sovereignty of God, who alone is able to open and close the womb, (2) that children are always a blessing from God and should be received gladly, (3) that Christians should trust God with their family size, and (4) that birth control has led to our culture's current "abortion mindset," i.e. that children are disposable man-made objects whose worth is dependent only upon whether or not they are wanted by their parents.

(If I missed anything or messed anything up, please feel free to write and correct me.)

The Christian community seems, to me, to fall into the following categories regarding birth control:

Option #1 - Any form of birth control is okay, barring abortion.

Option #2 - Some forms of birth control are frowned upon, due to their ability to act as abortifacients, but others (barrier, etc.) are considered okay.

Option #3 - Quiverfull Philosophy, see above.

Option #4 - The Roman Catholic view, being that it is okay to use God-given periods of female infertility (with abstinence during fertile periods) in order to control family size.

Did I miss any? The Quiverfull Philosophy is by far the least common, though I have run across it quite often over the past few years.

I have read "A Mom Just Like You" by Vickie Farris - it is an excellent book on the topic of homeschooling, but the first two chapters are devoted to family planning issues. Regardless of your birth control philosophy, it's a great read.

I have also read a little bit by Shonda Parker, an excellent author whom I really admire. Incidentally, I am friends with Mrs. Parker on Facebook, and she is an awesome woman, wife and mother..... I receive a lot of encouragement from her wise and godly wisdom, and the glimpses into her family life. She is definitely a mentor-from-afar for me.

I've also read stuff online and on blogs that deals with this subject.

So! I'd love to hear what you think! For? Against? Bible verses? Thoughts?

Now..... I never know which articles on this blog are going to "take off" and which are going to just sit. Some articles garner a lot of comments that I never would have expected, while others stay comment-less. Since I don't know which way the wind will blow (until it does!), here is my disclaimer again: Civil, polite, kind conversation is welcome! Name-calling, cat fights, or any form of unkindness or rudeness is NOT and will be deleted immediately without comment. All conversations must be governed by the law of kindness.

So if anyone would care to discuss this, feel free!

Embryo Adoption Birth Story

2011-01-28T06:54:00.000-08:00

Last Saturday, Arizona welcomed its newest Embryo Adoption baby - born to our friends Todd and Jen. We haven't met the little bub yet, but we can't wait to do so.

For anyone new to the concept, Embryo Adoption is a form of adoption in which a couple formally adopts the IVF embryo-babies of another couple who cannot transfer all of their embryos. It is different from embryo donation in that a formal adoption process is used, in order to honor the babies and their personhood, instead of just giving them informally ("donation") from one couple to another.

Anyhow, our friends are the proud adopted-parents of twelve embryo babies - five are now in heaven, six are still in waiting, and one is now in their arms after more than five long years of infertility. We are rejoicing with them!

You can read their birth story here:

Matthew's Birth Story

It is detailed, it is intense, it is very moving. It also presents a viewpoint a bit different from the one I usually present on this blog, so that's a good change of pace. Check it out and see!

And considering that this was a very difficult pregnancy for my friend (hyperemesis, subchorionic hemorrhage, preterm labor, posterior baby, among other joys), I can now say that she's been through just about everything! Yikes!

Welcome, Baby Matthew!

Medical Cannabis for Hyperemesis Gravidarum

2011-01-26T21:38:00.000-08:00

On my hyperemesis blog, I have been posting information on the possible use of medical marijuana (cannabis) for the treatment of hyperemesis gravidarum. Please feel free to check out the links below, and feel free to leave a comment if you have any further information to share!

Not Just for Hippies

This Really is an HG Blog...

Did I Say This Was an HG Blog?

Must-Read Story

2011-01-26T21:35:00.000-08:00

I am cross-posting this link from my hyperemesis blog. I have a passion for hyperemesis activism and awareness, and I believe that every birth worker should be well-acquainted with hyperemesis gravidarum, and its implication for mothers who contract it. In both the allopathic and the naturopathic medical worlds, there is an unfortunate and deplorable tendency to write off hyperemetic mothers as women who are "just exaggerating" normal morning sickness, and to recommend unhelpful remedies such as ginger and dry crackers. Birth workers, please educate yourselves on the topic so that you can recognize mothers who truly need help. And please do check out this story from one mother:

Islands of Grief, Mountains of Joy

I cried reading her story. Be forewarned, it is intense. But so desperately needed, as well. Hyperemesis is a disease that needs to be brought into the light, and we can only do that by sharing information and stories.

If you want to know more about hyperemesis, click the link over to my blog and check out the side-bars - I have a collection of hyperemesis stories and blogs and websites that will give you tons of information.

Great Posts on Optimal Fetal Positioning

2011-01-25T19:03:00.000-08:00

Just when I think I've finally found all the good birth blogs out there, another dozen or so show up! Today I found one that I can't wait to catch up on - Natural Birth in Kitsap. Check it out! I especially loved a series she did on Optimal Fetal Positioning - a must-read:

Optimal Fetal Positioning: How Baby's Position Can Alter Your Labor

Optimal Fetal Positioning: The Fetal Head

Optimal Fetal Positioning: Putting the Pieces Together

Optimal Fetal Positioning: Putting Optimal Fetal Positioning into Practice

I can't wait to go through this more thoroughly and brush up! Loved the pictures, too!

McRoberts v. Gaskin

2011-01-13T11:46:00.000-08:00

This is so very, very interesting!

A month or two ago, I posted an article in which I decried the neglect of the Gaskin maneuver in obstetrical texts covering treatment of shoulder dystocia. Specifically, I said:

"I have always found shoulder dystocia (a birth emergency in which the baby's anterior shoulder is impacted behind the maternal pubic bone, and which can cause injury to the baby if mishandled or death if is not resolved quickly) a fascinating subject. Why? Well, (1) it's equally an emergency at home or in hospital (because it's too late for a cesarean), and (2) it's an emergency in which natural childbirth - and thus a mobile mother - is a HUGE bonus, and (3) the best resolution is usually through the Gaskin Manoever, which was named after midwife Ina May Gaskin, who brought the procedure to the United States.

"I have also found the subject of shoulder dystocia rather amusing, because obstetric textbooks often ignore the Gaskin Manoever (which is basically hands-and-knees for the mother) in favor of more severe - and gruesome! - procedures, such as the symphysiotomy (cutting the pelvis open by cutting through the connective tissue of the pelvic bone - OUCH!) or the Zavanelli Manoever (shoving the baby back up the vaginal canal and doing a cesarean - very bad results due to trauma to the baby and time from emergency to birth). Turning a mama over on her hands and knees is much more pleasant - and effective!"

So, to review:

- Shoulder dystocia is the impaction of the anterior fetal shoulder behind the maternal pubic bone, i.e. baby is stuck. It is an extremely dangerous situation; I have heard it referred to as "every obstetrician's nightmare," and the same holds true for midwives. Why is it dangerous? Because (1) if left unresolved, it is fatal to the baby, and (2) if mismanaged (i.e. by grabbing the baby and pulling), it can result in severe injury to the baby.

The two major methods of resolution that I hear mentioned are:

- McRoberts - Mama is flat on her back, legs hyperflexed to her chest, which widens the pelvis and gets the lower spine out of baby's way. It's usually combined with suprapubic pressure, which is when an assistant (usually a student midwife or nurse) presses down firmly just over mama's pubic bone in an effort to dislodge the fetal shoulder. This is the method used almost 100% of the time on medicated mothers, since it does not require movement on the mother's part.

- Gaskin Maneuver - Flipping a mother on all fours, which also widens the pelvis and gets the lower backbone out of the way. Because mothers who can do Gaskin are almost always, by necessity, unmedicated, these mothers have the advantage of mobility, which in itself can help to shift a stuck or "sticky shoulders" baby. Gaskin cannot be combined with suprapubic pressure, as far as I know, but it can be combined with the screw maneuver (splinting fingers against the baby's shoulder and turning the baby to get the shoulder out of the way of the pubic bone).

Other, less common ways of resolving shoulder dysocia include the previously mentioned Zavanelli, the symphysiotomy, and clavicular fracture (breaking baby's collarbone to compress the fetal shoulder girdle width).

Now, on to new things. A day or two ago, I received a comment on the above-mentioned post from Dr. Nicholas Fogelson, also known as The Academic OB/GYN, famous in natural birth circles for (among other things) his published work on the benefits of delayed umbilical cord clamping. Dr. Fogelson writes:

"OB textbooks don't ignore the Gaskin maneuver, they just call it by the Obstetrician that described it before Gaskin was born - McRoberts.

"McRoberts and Gaskin are anatomically the same thing, except that in McRoberts the pt is supine and in Gaskin the patient is prone. The hips and pelvis are doing the same thing in both positions."

This was very interesting! I had never heard this before. After thinking about it, I recognized the gist of what he was saying, but still couldn't completely agree. So I wrote:

I see your point about the equivalency of Gaskin and McRoberts; however, at least from a hearsay point of view, I have heard substantially better results coming from Gaskin than McRoberts. Perhaps this is because Gaskin mums are, by necessity, unmedicated and are able to maintain better mobility to aid dislodging of the fetal shoulder? Or from coccyx mobility? Or just the widening of the pelvis from an upright position? The last estimate I heard said that a prone (error: I meant "supine") position decreased the pelvic diameter by 30% (though I may be abusing terms here, or statistics). Perhaps some commenters on this article who are more up on things like this can comment. I, alas, am not an expert in any sense (though I hope to be some day). Can you comment on this, Dr. F, or do you see equal results between Gaskin and McRoberts in your practice?

My blogging friend Kathy wrote:

"Dr. F., my understanding of the Gaskin maneuver, is not specifically the mother's positioning of her legs in doing it, but the moving of her body itself. The Gaskin maneuver is described as turning a mother over -- if she's on her back, to turn her to hands-and-knees (which has never in my mind seemed to indicate "turning her on her hands and knees, and then positioning her in a crouch so that her knees are pointed towards her ears"; nor does the description of McRobert's Position sound similar in any way to the description of the Gaskin maneuver), but also that if the mother is already in hands-and-knees, to turn her over on her back. Ina May has said that it is the large movement of the mother's body that helps to loosen the baby's shoulders, rather than the specific "end position" of mom being on her hands and knees.

"While McRoberts may allow for the same type of pelvic widening that occurs in the Gaskin maneuver, and would seem to be much easier to perform on a woman with an epidural, I don't see much if any similarity. And speaking as someone who has given birth without drugs, I'd much rather try the Gaskin maneuver first, than McRobert's position, which I can only describe as appearing to be extremely uncomfortable."

One side note: Wikipedia lists the following "shoulder dystocia protocol":

"A common treatment mnemonic is ALARMER

Ask for help. This involves requesting the help of an obstetrician, anesthesia and pediatrics for subsequent resuscitation of the infant.
Leg hyperflexion (McRoberts' maneuver)
Anterior shoulder disimpaction (suprapubic pressure)
Rubin maneuver
Mannual delivery of posterior arm
Episiotomy
Roll over on all fours (i.e. Gaskin, note mine)

It then says: "The advantage of proceeding in the order of ALARMER is that it goes from least to most invasive, thereby reducing harm to the mother in the event that the infant delivers with one of the earlier maneuvers. Although this is questionable since, since the Gaskin Maneuver, or "roll over on all fours", is considered by some the most effective and least invasive maneuver, but it is rarely used in the medical setting." (emphasis mine)

Anyhow, I wanted to know more, so I posted the question "Is McRoberts the same as Gaskin???" on a local midwives' forum. Here are some answers:

From a midwife:

"I think that what the OB might be trying to get at is that both maneuvers are attempting to do the same thing. Open the pelvis and getting the spine out of the way to allow for the baby to pass. McRoberts is done with the mom flat on her back and Gaskin is done with mom on all fours. I believe that you do one or the other first depending on what position mom is in when the dystocia is noted.. With McRoberts you can also apply suprapubic pressure and sometimes that is needed to release the shoulder.

"I have used both maneuvers in different situations and thank goodness they were successful."

And another:

"Well there are similar elements, because McRoberts lifts the coxyx off the table. What is different is it is more like a laying down squat, knees by chest wall. Gaskin manuver does not rotate the hips as far. One of the key differences has to do with gravity, when you shift a mom into hands and knees the baby's whole mass moves. So you not only get the coxyx off the bed and free up space, the baby body falls toward the side of the uterus, this shift alone may help to shift the shoulder off the symphysis and helps the baby rotate. If the movement alone doens't shift the shoulders you can still grasp the shoulder from the top and try and assist a shift to the oblique"

Several commented on something noted above, that part of the usefulness of the Gaskin maneuver lies in the fact that mums who use it are mobile, and mobility (shifting, turning, walking, standing, etc.) are vitally useful in unsticking stuck babies:

From one midwife:

"Also, sometimes just the action of having Mom move gets the baby unstuck. I've had a couple dystocias come "unstuck" as Mom lifts her leg to get out of the birth pool."

And from a student midwife:

"I just have to share a really cool story... One of my best friends had her 7th baby, first homebirth .... about 6 years ago. I was lucky to be her friend/doula at the time. The midwife was stuck in traffic and so I was there with her and her husband as she was giving birth very rapidly. She was on her hands and knees and pushed and the baby's head popped out along with the water breaking. I was there and held the baby's head. I counted a few minutes and noticed that it was taking awhile and I turned to the Dad and told him he'd better be planning on catching because I sure wasn't so he came over to catch. A few minutes later, my friend just lifted up her right leg into the air. For no reason at all, she just lifted it up. and as she did that the baby's shoulder came out and baby rotated all the way out into Dad's hands. He was about 9 1/2 lbs. My friend didn't realize she had even done that and I was beyond floored with how instinctual my friend was! It was one of the first births I attended at home that wasn't my own and I was just in awe of my friend and the power of birth... if her baby had a dystocia, we dno't know. She just said she felt like lifting up her leg and so she did!"

From the above input, I would conclude the following:

(1) That though not identical, McRoberts and Gaskin do have similarities.
(2) Both McRoberts and Gaskin are vital tools to have in the mental tool kit of an OB or midwife.
(3) Having a mother unmediated and mobile is a definite plus when needing to rapidly resolve a case of shoulder dystocia.

I have a friend whose baby was so "stuck" that they ended up with not only shoulder dystocia, but what they afterwards called "tummy dystocia," LOL! They ended up using both McRoberts and Gaskin to get that little one out, and were thankful for both.

Any discussion, input, comments - always welcome! But all conversation must, as always, be civil, courteous, and kind, regardless of feelings.

Oh, and I wanted to make an apology - publicly. Sometimes, in reading over past entries of this blog, like the one Dr. Fogelson commented on, I am appalled at my tone - my attitude, despite my best efforts, can come across as combatant and sometimes arrogant. That is NOT the intention of this blog.

In America, we are waaayyyy too divided. It's a case of "pick sides, then pick up your weapon!" My vision for the birth community is not "Midwives win!" but a community in which there is mutual value and respect, where OBs and midwives can freely collaborate together with mutual respect, and where women will receive respected care in either home or hospital setting. I write a homebirth blog because I am passionate about the promotion and legalizing of homebirth, but not because I want to put down OBs or hospital birth. Indeed, I wish that there was more conversation between the obstetrical and midwifery communities, rather than the armed conflict that is so prevalent. Additionally, I have great respect for obstetricians and for their large body of knowledge, and I appreciate their input and their corrections.

So, with all that, an apology, with my promise to do my best to maintain mutual respect on this blog.

And now, comment time!

***

Later note: You'll see from the notes that Kathy left this video link - check it out! Good stuff!

Shoulder Dystocia Workshop

A Breastfeeding Mentor, Continued

2011-01-13T06:33:00.000-08:00

Continuing from my last entry, "A Breastfeeding Mentor" (read that first)....

This is on the subject of how public breastfeeding is or is not compatible with the concept of female modesty as dictated by the Bible. I believe that the two go together, while others disagree. (This post, therefore, is religious in nature and would apply only to those who hold biblical beliefs, or other religious beliefs about modesty.)

One commenter wrote:

{This is my quote}"'Breastfeeding is not sexual. Breastfeeding is not an effort to draw men into lust. Therefore, the Biblical call to modesty does not apply.'"

"You are correct- breastfeeding is absolutely not sexual. God, however, didn't make men to enjoy the feminine form of woman for her nursing skills.

"Although it may not be an effort to draw men into lust- it still may- or it may be very uncomfortable b/c a man has had a past issue with porn, adultery, or just not wanting to see anyone else's body but his own wife's.

"The Biblical call to modesty does apply. The Bible was written in a time that the culture was very strict about dress codes, etc- but the Bible is timeless. God knew in His sovereignty that we would be reading it today- in 2011 and it would still apply. I would encourage you to put His Word above social reformation. If what we desire to do goes against the Bible- than it is not truth...it's just cultural competition.

"For the record, I nursed my children way past infancy and enjoyed every minute! Thanks for your post. :)"

Here is my response:

Hi!! Thank you for your comments on my blog, and for reading! I wanted to get back with you as soon as I could. However, I would like to say that my response probably won’t be too intelligent, because (1) my beliefs on public breastfeeding are still “under construction,” so I don’t have a well-thought-out system of breastfeeding apologetics, (2) I’m a rotten debater under any circumstances, and (3) I’m in a huge rush at the moment. But here are some random thoughts.

First of all, I am in complete agreement that the Bible is (for Christians) our 100% complete authority. No argument. Agreed.

- Regarding modesty – a bit of a tangent that may or may not have anything to do with what we’re talking about. Yes, the Bible mandates female modesty. However, the Bible is not prescriptive with regards to the details, i.e. it does not say “skirts shall reach to within two inches of the woman’s ankle.” It just says “modesty,” and I believe that this is because God knows that the definition of modesty will always differ by time and place and culture and climate. For example, in Victorian times, it was immodest for a woman to show her ankles. Period. In modern times, a woman can show her ankles quite modestly – because modesty will always be, in part, culturally constructed. By that token, I don’t think we can say that the exact clothing of Biblical times is what is demanded today. Our men don’t wear robes, and our women don’t wear veils. But I think I’m wandering. My more important point was that….

- I do believe that context and purpose are extremely important in determining modesty. For example: I’m completely okay with my children watching birth videos with full nudity. In fact, I encourage it. I am NOT okay with my children watching porn videos with the same full nudity. Why not? It’s the same body parts, after all! But it’s because the purpose and context are different. For the same reason, I am overjoyed to have my children see a woman breastfeeding publicly, but I am not overjoyed to see a woman dressed with really revealing cleavage or sexually suggestive clothing around my kids. Why not? The cleavage is showing less breast than the breastfeeding, after all – but it’s because of the purpose and the context. Similarly, a picture of a breast prepped for surgery in a textbook is not pornography; the same breast in a porn magazine with the exact same amount of nudity is. I go back to my original points, that being that (1) the primary purpose of the breast, by physiological definition, is infant nourishment, not sexual pleasure, and if a woman is using her breasts to nourish her infant, it is completely proper to do it in public, and (2) for any situation, context matters.

- Also, here in America, we have unnatural standards created by the prevalence of bottle-feeding. In many “old world” countries, which also have a strong Christian heritage, it is extremely common and standard for women to breastfeed publicly, and no one thinks anything of it. Italy, Africa, South America – public breastfeeding is considered 100% normal. Here in the West, however, where formula feeding has taken over, we have extended the cover of modesty to include breastfeeding. Most (or many) other places just don’t have a problem with it. If you subscribe to the “Historic Images of Breastfeeding” group on Facebook, you will see a ton of breastfeeding artwork from hundreds of years ago that celebrated both breastfeeding and public breastfeeding. We’re just not used to it any more.

Again, it also depends on the individual woman. When I first started nursing, I wouldn’t do it with anything less than a locked door in between me and the world. Now, I’m a lot more casual about it. I think most women also go through transitions about their comfort levels. I fully support any woman’s decision to nurse at home, to nurse with a cover, or to nurse without a cover, and I think that a woman can fully maintain her modesty and do so. I do think that it’s mostly a matter of cultural discomfort than biblical standards, and I don’t think that our rates of breastfeeding will improve until public breastfeeding becomes the cultural norm that children and young women can learn from. I could be wrong! That’s just my opinion.

And, as K. says, sometimes we are called to give up our freedoms in consideration of the comfort of others. It can be a case-by-case thing.

If any other women would like to chime in here, feel free!

And if that made no sense or was self-contradicting, my apologies! As I said, this is a new subject for me, and I’m still feeling my way through it.

Here’s an article that I thought was very nicely done:

Mistaken Attitudes About Breastfeeding

One last note: We’re debating here about modesty. But most of the negative remarks I’ve heard about breastfeeding have nothing to do with modesty – it’s a matter of sheer disgust. As in “yes, breastfeeding is great and all that, but for crying out loud don’t do it in front of me or I’ll puke because it’s so disgusting”. That’s really the reaction that I see most commonly…. And that is a completely different animal (which would also benefit from public breastfeeding, I think! LOL!).

(I'm guessing that this disgust stems from our obsession about breasts as sexual objects. For example, the Facebook debacle, where Facebook is currently deleting any and all groups that post photos of public breastfeeding, while leaving unscathed groups that have photos of scantily-clad women or breasts in other sexual contexts, regardless of how lewd. Our culture can stand any amount of breast sexuality, but breast functionality (i.e. infant feeding) is seen as obscene. In demonstration of this - We just don't hear news reports saying "Woman dressed in immodestly-low blouse asked to cover up or leave restaurant! Restaurant owner claims, 'I run a family-friendly place! There's no place for this kind of thing!'" etc. etc. etc. LOL! No, women are permitted to dress as immodestly as they like and use their breasts as sexually as they like.... as long as they aren't feeding a baby with them! Our disgust is with breastfeeding, not breasts.)

Thoughts, everyone? (As always, comments must be kind, civil and non-hurtful. All others will be deleted without response.)

A., thanks again for visiting! I’m now off to get the kidlets up…. Have a wonderful day!

Oh, and I’ve made this comment so long that I may just turn it into its own post…. I”ll have to see if blogger will even let me post it! (It wasn't happy, thus this post.)