A dear friend of mine is eagerly awaiting the arrival of her first grandbaby (due any day!). Yesterday, she posted on Facebook: "Can anyone tell me any do's and don't's for grandparents?"
(As a matter of fact, my friend has nothing to worry about.... she is going to be the best grandmother in history! She is an awesome woman..... I'd have to say "practically perfect in every way." There is not a young woman in her church who does not consider her a mentor and surrogate mother. Some day they'll be building statues to this woman.... she is going to be great.)
But anyhow, I thought I'd publish the suggestions (paraphrased, not quotes). Here they are!
DO pray for your kids as they become parents.
DON'T constantly try to feed the grandkids sweets.
DO give your grandkids lots of love.
DO give your kids a night off once in a while, and be available to help them out when you can.
DO bite your tongue if your kids aren't parenting the exact way you did.
DON'T get in the way of what your kids are trying to do as parents.
DON'T sabotage your kids' rules or parenting efforts with passive-agressive behavior (i.e. giving the grandkids sugar after your kids have said they want to be sugar-free, showing the grandkids TV after the parents have said they don't want their kids watching TV, giving them things for gifts that the parents have said they don't want in their house, etc.)
DO refrain from giving unwanted advice or criticism.
DO remember that you too did stupid things with your kids while you were learning!
DO give your kids lots of grace!
Does anyone have anything to add?