I was looking for a completely different post, and I ran across this one that I wrote last August about my fears and hopes for my upcoming birth! Let's see how I did!
My Fears About Birth
Yes, there was pain, but not nearly as much as the first time. Ladies - second births are SO much easier than first births!! All births should be second births!!
- Not being able to handle the pain
I was still a total, complete wimp. But all in all, not bad! I handled pain the exact same way I did last time - closing my eyes and making a lot of noise. On the video (review coming soon, I hope!) I actually looked pretty decent. Not birth-goddess quality, but decent.
- Doing something that disgusts people (I won't give details... there are a lot of possibilities)
- Something happening to the baby (not that this would be minor, but I have complete trust in the competence of our midwives)
Baby did have a slow start into the extra-uterine world, but (as I said!) my midwives were totally competent and took care of it beautifully with a minimum of fuss.
My Hopes For This Birth
- Having an easier time, pain-wise
- Being able to handle the pain better than I did last time
- Experiencing birth ecstasy/high - last time I totally missed out on this, bummer!!!
No! Bummer! I guess I am just not a "birth high" kind of mother! Bummer! But I was at least happier this time. Last time was "I just want to go to sleep" and this time was "okay, we're done with that, let's move on and see what baby looks like!"
- Better bonding with baby - last time I was just in too much pain from afterpains
Unfortunately the afterpain issue still prevented bonding - my body just does not know how to shut up with the afterpains! But there was a bit better of bonding with baby.
- Easier start to breastfeeding
Gosh, no - much worse. Oh, so much worse. If there ever is a next time, I am getting baby checked for tongue-tie about 30 seconds post-birth - NOT 6 weeks post-birth.
- Better connection to DH during the birth
I still prefer being surrounded primarily by women during birth, but this was better. At the beginning, DH started doing the one thing that made me want to clobber him last time - that is, sympathizing ("I'm so sorry you're going through this") - but I asked him to avoid that, and all was well from there.
- Better connection to doulas
Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!!!!!!!! Oh my goodness, I love my doulas!! (Not that my doula wasn't great with birth #1 - I just didn't have much of a chance to bond with her.)
- Easier postpartum period - I think that this will definitely happen, barring complications - last time I was so exhausted from the hyperemesis that I started out utterly exhausted pre-birth, and it just got worse from there
Postpartum - not so great. Nursing issues and various other stresses made postpartum a rather awful time, though the physical recovery was much faster. Maybe next time - that is, if there was going to be a next time! Which there will not be, LOL!
Did anyone else out there have birth hopes/fears that were resolved or fulfilled? I'd love to hear them!